'Crime' and punishments

[GloGirl]

Anyone leaving public toilets in a state should have one tooth painlessly removed. Starting with a top front one. So everyone will know who the dirty fuckers are. No false teeth allowed.

Anyone driving a huge fucking 4x4 without the ability of dipping headlights so you don't blind cars 3 miles in front of you will only be allowed to drive in daylight. Between the hours of 10am-11am.

Anyone driving a very nice car who is unable to hug curbs on country road to savr your car bring scratched by hedgerow should only be allowed to drive a bicycle. A slim one. All that power steering and road handling and intellegent systems and they can't drive in lane

Vehicles which stop on a pedestrian crossing because of the traffic, then the lights change and you can't cross because some fuckwit in his lorry is blocking the crossing. I dont know if I can think of a suitable punishment. Maybe have to clean his lorry with his tongue. Or clean the traffic lights.

And people who don't poop scoop should have their pet roll in it then on their carpet.

Andrewofgg I am , I admit it! Just a bleeding heart liberal!

People who leave public looks in a state should be forced to clean a block of them without assistance for a week.

People who try to drag others up onto the dance floor at parties should have both legs cut off !!!

People who hang on trees plastic bags with their dogs poo in should have their dog taken away

Their irresponsible owners who have no regard for others

If they throw it on the floor they should be fined £1000 second time the dog is taken away

Those who just let their dogs poo anywhere £1000 fine third time dog is taken away

They're ....

Bloody auto correct

Sorry to derail but I have to ask, is hanging dog poo in a bag on a branch a thing? It happened to me. Some twunt hung the revolting article on the branch of the tree in my front garden, right beside our skip. I thought perhaps it was an enraged neighbour who didn't like the skip? We put off removing it and then eventually managed to flick the branch in the direction of the skip on the day it was collected. Luckily it landed securely amid the rubble.

Why would someone do that? Right by a skip too?! Rude fuckers.

People who play music out of their mobile phones without using headphones should be followed around by a 6 year old playing London's Burning on the recorder for a week.

vlad that is pure evil genius that.

Persons that leave empty toilet rolls in the bathroom but NOT in the bin shall be forced to wear them round their necks like a macaroni necklace.

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight

yes it is I have been to a few parks and commons and seen this there was (its been cleaned up) one tree on Wimbledon common with loads of bags there should have been a hidden camera and then printed posters of the offenders put up around the car park with a number do you know this person

it really is disgusting I rather see poo on the ground than this or in plastic bags thrown into hedges

great idea Vlad

Vlad in the same vein, people who incessantly sing/whistle along to the radio in the office should have someone follow them around whistling aggressively at them every time they open their mouth to speak

People who suddenly stop dead in front of you,especially after walking slow in the first place, should either get a twat round the head or a ram on the ankles from a buggy

Oh please don't let this thread disappear into the ether! It's given me a much-needed laugh this morning!

People who use communal tea and coffee facilities leaving the magic fairies to clean up after them should have to do the washing up for week, including drinking the dregs of other people's left over coffee.

Fly-tippers should receive weekly visits by dustbin lorries, emptying their contents through the fly-tipper's windows and doors. For at least a year. If they attempt to fly-tip the rubbish from the lorries, their cars/white vans shall be crushed. Amen.

vlad

No. John Brown's Body to the words

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes:

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes:

for ever, and ever, and ever . . .

Good point Andrew. Perhaps with a recorder accompaniment from another 6 year old, played just slightly out of sync. And wildly out of tune, of course...

Vlad We are siblings in the soul. Two sadists together

People who slop their chops together when eating their lunch should be locked away with no further food until they die.

People who leave wet towels on the bed should be whipped with it until they bleed.

Unfortunately I can't think of anything bad enough for the 'you're not going to eat that, are you?' diet bores.. anyone?

I can, vlad - you get a magic wand to wave that adds 100 calories to every single sip of their slim-a-soup, and half a maggot to their virtuous salad. And if they do ever decide to 'treat themselves' to a 'cheeky' cake or wine, it always tastes of earwax.

Add to the diet bores music hippies who feel only they have musical taste. May their iPods ever onwards be filled with early 90s tween pop.

People who don't say thanks when you hold the door open for them shall find every door they try to open locked for three days.

And people who don't hold door open for the person half a second behind them shall be superglued to a door handle for a week.