'Crime' and punishments

[GloGirl]

Anyone leaving public toilets in a state should have one tooth painlessly removed. Starting with a top front one. So everyone will know who the dirty fuckers are. No false teeth allowed.

Anyone driving a huge fucking 4x4 without the ability of dipping headlights so you don't blind cars 3 miles in front of you will only be allowed to drive in daylight. Between the hours of 10am-11am.

Anyone driving a very nice car who is unable to hug curbs on country road to savr your car bring scratched by hedgerow should only be allowed to drive a bicycle. A slim one. All that power steering and road handling and intellegent systems and they can't drive in lane

People who cough up live green oysters onto the pavement whilst simultaneously shunting unseen flobbers into the backs of their skulls should be forced to spend the night naked and face down in a pool of stenching ectoplasmic waste. That is all.

People who let their dog shit covered children's feet climb all over the seat at my work should be made to clean the mess up. WITH THEIR TONGUE.

People who let refuse to discipline their odious children should send children to be to parented by me for a month.

Drivers without indicators should be made to crawl naked down the dual carriage way, indicating with their arms to change lane.
The same goes for fog light dazZZlers or any type of driving offence.

Love these! Especially the headlight punishment anglepoise.

Would solve the overstuffed prison problem if they let MN decide appropriate punishment/deterrent.

People who let their children jump queues should . . .

No. I really can't go on. It would be just too nasty. But if you want to, don't mind me and make it harsh.

Cleaty, indeed!

People who gob chewing gum out on the pavement should be made to pick a different, older piece up(with their tooth brush) and chew it for a week.

People that don't pop scoop should be forced to carry around someone else's dog's poop in their pocket/handbag, unwrapped.

That made me pocket. And YY to blinding headlights punishments.

For me, my current passionate hatred is for people who use "newsflash" sneerily - you know, the "newsflash - there are other people in the world" kind of remarks? I don't know why but it sparks a white hot flash of rage. I'd probably develop a nervous twitch if someone did it in real life.

People who park in P&C spots without a C should be made to squeeze themselves into overhead compartment lockers whilst wearing 2 duffel coats.

Yes Pegs!

People who walk out of shops and then stop in front of the people already walking along should be made to live in the frozen food section of any Asda for 3 weeks.

People who stop at the top of escalators or suddenly come to a blind stop in the street for no good reason should be banned from going out in public and have to do their shopping online

Can I do another one
Dog owners who let their dogs jump up at you or as in a previous post knock a child and say "they are friendly or they at only playing" should be made to have an animal such as a huge spider or snake crawl/walk all over them for a hour or two.

Maybe have their children present as well with means they can't scream or try and push the creature off as that would mean they are pushing their irrational fears onto them. And they can't flick/push/kick said animal off as they might hurt it

People who go to A&E for the cold, alcohol incidents etc ought to be made to visit critically ill/major trauma patients, and be taught why going to A&E with minor shit/avoidable shit can cause big problems for everyone else.

People who continuously sniff on train journeys should be made to wear someone else's snotty hanky on their head.

People who pick up their child 10 minutes late from school every bloody day without even apologising should be made to stand somewhere pointlessly for 10 minutes everyday when they really have to be somewhere else/doing something else.

People who send their genuinely sick children in to school when they're clearly too unwell to be there should be forced to clean up the sick from the classroom carpets with their bare hands.

People who don't teach their children to close their mouths when they eat should be fed only through an iv drip of sadness and unicorn tears for three years.

People who take poops in other folks houses should be shot for reckless behaviour. (I will concede that children can't be expected to abide by this rule til they're 6/7). (I will also concede that my DCs love to take dumps in other folks homes and I find it revolting; why not bake it til you get home and can poop in peace and safety?)

"Why not bake it" - meaning the poo in your tummy?

Absolutely, I bake mine til I'm home. I will admit I'm odd about poos. Other folk are less odd; DH and the DCs love nothing more than visiting relatives or restaurants and using the facilities to drop one off. They're savages.

Dropping litter should result in an immediate mild electric shock for the dropper.

Manspreaders - those blokes on the train that sit with their legs as wide as possible, cramming everyone else into half a seat, and in rush hour forcing you to feel every inch of their thigh - should have their balls cut off. It's a kindness really, they're obviously just too big to deal with in everyday life.

How about really, really tight underpants, for a first offence, Feathered?

Or, a kilt and no pants. If they want to let it all hang out everyone should be able to point and laugh. Unless it upsets someone and then they are forced to get off the transport immediately, even if not at a station or stop.

People who park over (occupied) driveways should be put into a straightjacket for 24 hours and see how they like not being able to get out of something.

People who suddenly remember that they have to pay for their shopping and then spend ages faffing round looking for their wallet/purse should be banned from all shops and only allowed to shop online.

And for people who answer calls on their mobiles whilst being served in shops should have a lifetime ban of ever using a phone again.

Bloodybridget You are a softie. Why a mild electric shock?

240 volts at least!

A kilt and no pants is a good idea, GloGirl - especially if they use really itchy tartan for the kilt!