Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

That consultant said this word...

514 replies

Ozwizard · 16/01/2016 10:57

I went to the hospital to see my results from my consultant. Result of this is that I will have to have surgery that has a six to eight week recovery time. As he was explaining my condition he said that it is very common in " Negroid ladies"!!
The nurse in the room looked at me and shifted uncomfortably in her seat! And I took a second to register if he really did say that. Then I did a nervous laugh and said to him " you must not use that word" he said "what, that is what you are" " what is wrong with Negroid"? I said " stop, use another word". He said " oh I didn't know that Negroid would offend you"
Aibu that he should not have said that word?

OP posts:
IfItsGoodEnough4ShirleyBassey · 16/01/2016 15:37

The five Fs (Stratter's four plus Fertile) is a med student mnemonic for the people who are most likely to get gallstones.

It doesn't mean you will get them but it means that if you present with certain symptoms they're trained to think "Bingo! Gallstones!" and check that first.

I'm pretty sure they're not meant to say "we'll check for gallstones because you're fat" to the actual patient though.

Gwenhwyfar · 16/01/2016 15:39

"Sorry, obviously I know how weight and health are linked- but the other bits?"

Jessie, I think the four F's are to do with susceptability to certain illnesses. The one I heard a doctor talk about was gallstones I think. I suppose it's a kind of mnemonic to make it easier to remember. Using large instead of fat (assuming that's what the pp would prefer) wouldn't work for the alliteration.

Bookeatingboy · 16/01/2016 15:39

Saying simply 'common in your particular ethnic group' offends no one of any group and gets the message across

I agree and you would think highly educated people would understand that regardless of age or country of origin.

I once had a GP (was retiring that year) ask me if my son who is mixed race albeit with very light skin but has afro hair was from "foreign stock"

I informed him my children were not cattle so could he refrain from using that terminology with me (or anyone else for that matter) again. I was there to discuss a general medical matter that had no bearing on my sons ethnic origin.

BeaufortBelle · 16/01/2016 15:41

stratters point has made me think actually. I tick the white, middle aged, posh, middle class, blonde, married boxes. You know what, when I go to hospitals I am often not spoken to with a great deal of respect. I think it has far less to do with racism, sexism, or any other ism than it does about the culture of disrespect for all that has become embedded within the NHS.

Only this week I had to go to A&E. I could barely walk. I asked the receptionist for a chair that wasn't low and metal that I could have lowered myself into. I was told to stand and wait if I couldn't sit in a very dismissive manner. The nurse in triage got me a wheelchair because I insisted and didn't leave her triage station until it was sorted out. It wasn't due to racism or any other cultural markers it was due to the staff being uncaring and disinterested and represents the extent to which NHS staff are no longer trained in the basics from the top down. I had broken my back by the way.

BeaufortBelle · 16/01/2016 15:43

hah bookeatingboy I've said similar in response to kids. "How may kids have you got?" None, I'm not a goat.

britneyspears123 · 16/01/2016 15:45

Ilovesooty sorry I am new. Sorry my post didn't meet your standards.

Stratter5 · 16/01/2016 15:47

They spent a lot of time thinking I had gallstones. I do in fact suffer from kidney stones. It distracts them.

I tick the same boxes, Beaufort, I do find I am always treated with a lot of kindness and thoughtfulness, but I am always kind and appreciative, and unfortunately most of the Resus team and Resp Ward staff already recognise me as a frequent flyer. :(

emilybohemia · 16/01/2016 15:49

LoTe, 'I really do not understand this. The OP is not disagreeing with his assessment of her ethnic origin - she's objecting to the word used to describe it. Why? It might be an outdated term but it's descriptive, not offensive. He certainly didn't mean to offend and like others have said he was probably using it purely as medical terminology. I genuinely don't understand the fuss'.

Seriously? There are lots of connotations with that word that could make a person feel uncomfortable. Also, it made the op uncomfortable and he showed no sensitivity when he made that clear..

I would have to report him op. He showed no regard for your feelings and that is not right. The language was wrong and outdated and offensive. You have every reason to be shocked and angry.

Agree with everything you said SirBoob.

ilovesooty · 16/01/2016 15:53

They're not "my standards" britney but if you're new you might not be aware that troll hunting is against the T&Cs of the site.

BeaufortBelle · 16/01/2016 15:54

The doctors were great and I was polite, I really was. I was almost in tears at the way one of the receptionists was speaking to people. The nurse did get me a wheelchair but I had to insist and explain that the minor injuries unit I had come from had a higher chair for people with compromised backs but didn't even treat backs so I didn't understand why her hospital didn't. I don't really understand how a trained nurse could have thought it appropriate to leave someone standing in that much pain. When I was wheeled through to the room I was wheeled past about 10 empty cubicles all with chairs that I could have sat in. It was just a matter of not being bothered I think and possibly, because I wasn't screaming and howling she just didn't take my word for the level of pain I was in.

FlatOnTheHill · 16/01/2016 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ilovesooty · 16/01/2016 15:55

If he "didn't mean to offend" why did he say it several times after he'd been asked not to?

ilovesooty · 16/01/2016 15:56

All this shit ? Hmm

AlwaysBeYourself · 16/01/2016 16:01

laurierf the article you have linked to is irrelevant to the point that racism happens to white people too. I was stating that Welsh people and indeed Irish and Scottish are still treated with ridicule and the to the usage of inappropriate name calling. Not sure what your point is but you seem to be going out of your way to paint the Welsh in a bad light rather than take my point for what it is.

fidel1ne · 16/01/2016 16:03

Which shit is that Flat?

JessieMcJessie · 16/01/2016 16:04

Well I never, how interesting that gallstones are linked to pale colouring. Thanks to all who explained.

So, Flat on the hill, by your logic it's OK to say "I love Pakis, their dark eyes are so sexy" because it's not being used "in a derogatory manner"?

Do jog on dear.

Original poster
Ozwizard · 16/01/2016 16:08

I'm already sick in that I'm am going to lose my womb. Flatonthehill another unnecessary post!!
He said it the second and third time in a dissmive way flaying his hands around. Which makes me think he was fully aware of what he had said the first time.
Reminds me of the time another Doctor said to me years ago when I was unemployed for a while "if you had a job you wouldn't have found the time to get pregnant"!! Another awful bedside manner!!

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 16/01/2016 16:08

X-posted. I didn't see IfItsGoodEnough's post.

"I'm pretty sure they're not meant to say "we'll check for gallstones because you're fat" to the actual patient though."

I don't see what's wrong with mentioning the 4 (or 5 Fs) though. Knowing about is helpful for patients as well.

Stratter5 · 16/01/2016 16:09

It was not used in a derogatory manner. Get over it ffs.
Sick of all this shit.

Offensive AND irrelevant

The term IS offensive. Offensive and very uncomfortable for me to read, and as said previously, I'm your archetypal middle class white woman. I'd never refer to someone like that. What really compounds it is that he continued to use the term, possibly purposefully - it would have felt deliberate to me, talk about rubbing it in. :(

laurierf · 16/01/2016 16:09

Come on… English, Irish, Scottish, Welsh… each nationality experiences prejudice. How am I going out of my way to paint "the Welsh" in a bad light when I'm saying this happens throughout the UK.

White people in the UK and The Republic of Ireland experience prejudice for all sorts of reasons. What they don't do is experience racism on a significant level, or in a comparable way to POC, because of their race - that is - because they are white.

Potatoface2 · 16/01/2016 16:09

i had an anaethetist tell me i was fat once......i work with doctors and some are not very diplomatic when they speak to patients.....but ive never heard one say that to a black person before....i would be horrified if i heard it said to a patient....i wonder if the nurse spoke to him after you left and pulled him up about it...i would have!

fidel1ne · 16/01/2016 16:09

Well I never, how interesting that gallstones are linked to pale colouring. Thanks to all who explained.

More terrifying than interesting Grin

I've just turned down some rather nice looking Bakewell Tart as a result of reading that (since forties, fair, fertile and female are out of my control)Sad

PitPatKitKat · 16/01/2016 16:10

I've noticed that too BeaufortBelle, there are a lot of people in medicine/the NHS who are exceptionally polite, considerate and hardworking.

However there is a definite streak of people who really think that patients should shut up and be grateful however the are treated or spoken to. I keep trying to understand where it comes from. Is it just bad manners, bad training? Are they fed of being treated impolitely by patients or colleagues? Is it a sign of a bad culture in some hospitals (e.g. either bad top down examples from arrogant management and consultants? Is it bad pay and conditions in some cases? Is it a feeling of being above reproach? Sometimes I even think some people behave as if they are working for free and single handedly responsible for the provision free at point of access care, never mind the fact that people are paid to work there and the NHS is funded by the taxpayer really.

Whatever it is it's very high handed and it will definitely be counter productive. This is a time when the NHS is under political fire and in danger of being undermined from all angles. So any offhand rudeness or lack of professional care is going to eventually fuel that fire.

Owllady · 16/01/2016 16:14

Ozwizard, please make a complaint it's not acceptable :( you asked him not to say it and he carried on. To people who think that's ok, it really isn't. I've had drs talk about my Dr (sld etc) as if she isn't there in such a derogatory way and never complained and I should have. It really doesn't and shouldn't have to be that way. I'm sure nhs have equality training etc regular anyway!

I'm sorry you've got to have a hysterectomy too. Do you have someone yo look after you? Flowers

Gwenhwyfar · 16/01/2016 16:14

"The NHS can't have any patients dictating the races and gender of the people who treat them it is totally unacceptable whatever colour or creed they are."

You wouldn't agree with female gynaecologists for rape survivors?