to ask if you would consider home education?

[SundayBea]

Have read a lot of articles recently on how the numbers in home education have 'exploded' and it's on the rise by 80% a year apparently. I know of three families I think quite highly of, two of whom are ex-teachers whose children have never been to school and their children seem to be having an exceptional upbringing and education with so many fantastic experiences and opportunities. Also know of two other families who have withdrawn their children from school because of problems with their respective schools and I'm less certain of how successful it is going to be for them. Also know of several colleagues and DH's cousin who have DC under 5 who are debating not registering them when the time comes. Is this a big thing now or is it just coincidence I know of so many families like this? I was just wondering what the general consensus was.. when I mentioned socialisation one of my ex-teacher friends showed me the Facebook group she is in for her local home education community and I was amazed at the plethora of groups, classes, meet ups and outings with hundreds of members.. just for her local county! Have been debating with DP what to do about schooling at private school is unfortunately out of the question on our current salaries.. I'm now feeling like I've discovered a whole new option I hadn't considered? Sorry if this is rambling, only getting a 5 minute lunch break today!

Let's not forget that parents who choose to HE because of unmet needs and harm done to their children will have very little time available for campaigning against inadequacies in the school system. They will have an education to deliver, the child may have SN which will need to be addressed (often a full-time job in itself), routine day to day family stuff and they will possibly work, too. I raised several issues with my LA's education department (to Director level), and approached my MP on a few matters, bit it takes a lot of time and effort to make changes.

Quite. There is recourse to the LGO when LAs withhold education, but that's a lengthy process and the financial penalties are cheaper to the LA than the cost of the lost education, so that can become a spiral.

Similarly, a SENDIST tribunal case can take more than a year and the nearest suitable provision, if awarded, can be more than an hour away.

Parents can fight and fight and still be left with very little.

meister's idea that distraught and failed DC should be left suffering in the mainstream system in order to improve the system is as bizarre as it is cruel.

I know meister but it's not necessary. We're all capable of respectful discussion. Let's not cross any lines or we risk losing a useful thread that could help a lot of people. And that reminder isn't directed at anyone in particular, but all of us. We need to mind our manners a bit.

mummy where did Fideline say she loved her kids more "Hun" I can't seem to see it or anything that indicates that she is saying anything remotely like this?

Ha I missed that How peculiar.

This thread is supposed to be about the pros and cons of home education. Shall we try and get back to that?

Threads get heated because parents love their children and want the best for them, and to be recognised as good parents, so can be defensive. Like infant feeding, that always gets out of hand. In real life it's easier to feel heard and understood, even if choices differ.

Similar situation for us, too Nicki. After years of battling with the system, it's quite a relief to have your child home and safe and you want to maintain that, without adding to your load. Plus, I made a conscious decision to focus my energies into him rather than fighting a battle that evidence thus far had shown I had little chance of winning. The Education system looks after its own, and the wagons were very quickly drawn into a circle once I'd deregistered, just in case I went down the 'complaint' route. In fact, for some senior LA officers, the fact that I didn't make a complaint was used against me - there can't have been much wrong with his treatment in schools if I wasn't prepared to play merry hell about it .

Pteranodon that's an interesting comparison, because the only rational stance on either subject, that I can see, is a pro-choice one.

Naturally, anyone demanding that X be banned (the very extreme view) will provoke a response from those that feel their DC wouldn't be here, or would be very unwell without X and that is the case whether X is HE or infant formula.

And actually I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of my parenting, I just ask that they judge by results, be that good manners, happiness or exam success.

There's nothing to "get back to". We are discussing the pro's and con's of HE and experiences that led to those choices and what we have to work with are all part of that.

I am considering it for the future because the high school here is failing and there isn't an alternative for 25 miles. However, this would mean HE as a 'last resort' and it seems to work better for families who do it for positive reasons rather than because school didn't work out for them. I am not confident about my ability to HE 3 children effectively at this level either, but the main con for us would be the financial implications. Having said that, we could manage, if it meant our children being happy and able to pursue their interests in a structured way. Hats off to people who do it from primary age though - that's a different kettle of fish altogether!

hE does have advantages, and disadvantages. Just like independent education. Just like a grammar school system. Just like a comprehensive.

Acknowledging disadvantages of any particular system helps you work round those disadvantages so to minimise the impact on your child.

Have you looked at Interhigh and similar Caitlin? 25 miles is a long way.

it seems to work better for families who do it for positive reasons rather than because school didn't work out for them

I'm not sure I'd agree with that, TBH.

Queenstreaky how do you teach your child resilience? in school, just like on MN, you come across nasty violent people, rude people, people with very different values. by being at a school even with a small number of pupils, then I think you would come into closer longer contact with a far greater number and variety than if HE. does withdrawing them deny them the chance to "practice" these strategies before they go out into the big wide world? at what age do you think children become adult enough to deal with bullying?

do you and your child have a plan for the future - college, uni, apprenticeship?

One of the less brilliant bits is that moving on to the next stage can be more difficult than it is for schooled kids.

Next stage being? I'm assuming higher education from your other posts. But I'm not sure where you're getting this from - could you share your sources? Every HE child I've heard of that wanted to go to university, has got in (and I was on an HE exams mailing list for years, so I've heard about a lot of kids, lol).

But there are still about 50% of the population who don't go to university - there are other options out there.

There are many, many people who end up in their adult lives doing e.g. access courses in order to get on to a degree course/some other retraining course. We don't look at them and berate them for not having known what they wanted to do at 16, or blame their parents for not guiding them well enough. We say good for them, they've decided on something they want to do and they're working towards it. So why should it be an issue if a 14/16/18 year old HE child doesn't know exactly what they want to do? If they take things a bit slower than their peers on the school conveyor belt? (Who also might not know what they want to do but are going onto the next stage because, well, that's what you do!)

I think the thing about taking GCSEs in one sitting is more about not wanting to see retakes. Except for medicine, perhaps. My kids are at/have gone through secondary school. I was quite happy not to have to deal with sitting GCSEs as a private candidate etc, but I would have done it if necessary. I almost certainly wouldn't have done 9 in one year, mostly because it would have been crazily expensive (some schools charge a lot to let you sit an exam there).

Atia- did you see that I said moving on to the next stage can be more difficult? Not will be- can be. The cost thing you highlighted is one of the things tha can make it more difficult. As an example.

mummy all of your questions have been addressed repeatedly on this thread. Have you even read it or do the answers already given not satisfy you?

fidel1ne young people may act accordingly knowing their strengths and weaknesses. They may also be very young and without parental support or with parents who believe a couple of GSCEs will suffice may suffer in the long run.

In some sense similar to children who are in school but with parents who do not value academic qualifications. It's not the route of education but rather the lack of parental awareness and support for academic qualifications that raises a red flag for me.

NckiFury - I was asking Queen the question for her views. I have heard yours over and over and over again. just wanted to hear from someone else about resilience.

That's rather inaccurate considering that I haven't posted on this thread for a while but hey don't let that stop you

meister I agree that teaching resilience is important. We've always had our eyes in the future and aiming for a well-rounded, independent adult, and we'v worked on resilience and independence in the same way as every other area of learning - slowly, at a pace he can handle (but with appropriate challenges when he could cope with them), and always with the safety net to come back to. Little and often experiences to stretch him, gradually increasing as he gained confidence and ability. Lots of mainstream groups and activities to extend his social circles.

He's 17 now, in sixth form college doing AS levels. He entered in September with 8 IGCSEs. Got a great group of friends there, none of whom know he has any additional needs (he has autism and ADHD). He wants to do Chem Eng at Uni but no firm plans beyond that so far.

see Queenstreaky I ask a reasonable question and this is the response I get from the Hed-onistas . cant win.

Not much point is there meister? Lots of us have told you all about how HE students get qualifications and university places. Some of us even told you about our DC's grades and UCAS offers. You responded with;

as others have said you do unfortunately need the "bits of paper" qualifications and the requirement to have these for many courses is getting tougher and tougher. have a look yourselves. its all freely available on the internet.

Meister, genuine question here, how do you teach resilience to a child in a school setting when they are bullied/have unsupported SN/are introverted/are overwhelmed etc, etc. ?

The families I have seen deal with this most successfully are the ones who have taken their children out of the system that has nearly destroyed them. Schools say the right thing, but IME they rarely act on it effectively. Schools are by the square-peg-square-hole people and for the square-peg-square-hole-people.
How do you suggest parents help their DC whilst keeping them in school, assuming the child doesn't sink into mental health problems which can be more disabling to them than their SN in the first place.
I'd really like to know.

DCs' grades^

Sorry, forgot to add ...

He's had numerous run-ins with 'challenging' individuals, both within and outside of HE. As you say, difficult people are everywhere. On these occasions we've analysed the problem post-mortem style and developed strategies for 'next time'. Some he's remembered, others not so much (that's a feature of his SN) but he's coped. The safety net has been the main reason, I think. In the early days he was able to leave a situation if it was too much to cope with, whereas if he'd been in school he'd have had to endure it for several hours before he could get free of it, or discuss it. He copes fine now - there's very little that rattles him.

Queen you say that none of his friends know about his additional needs? do you feel that is because of the H Ed decision ( 1 to 1 tailoring support at his pace) which has somehow lessened the effect when seen externally? not suggesting you have cured him, just keen to understand how the additional needs led to you taking him out of school but didn't stop him/you going back in at a later stage? do you feel he gets more support at sixth form or that just the other kids have grown up and are less immature?