To think there should be a fast lane in coffee shops?

[vvviola]

I am boring have simple requirements in the morning. I go to the same coffee shop beside my office and get the same order (cappuchino and croissant). I even sometimes have the exact change in my hand. All I want is to get my coffee and get to my desk.

Every morning this week there have been people who couldn't make up their mind, or wanted the staff to make something out of the ordinary. This morning we had "do you do cheese sandwiches, oh, you have sandwiches over there, let me look at them while the people with me are changing their minds 6 times about what scone to have, oh, can you not just make a plain cheese sandwich"

First of all, who on earth wants a cheese sandwich at 9am, and second of all aaaarrrgghh

So. Fast lane for people who don't faff? I may be U as I haven't finished my coffee yet

Anyone else imaging Vviola saying 'the faffers, I tell you the faffers' in a broad Irish accent

Yes I do need a menu, because I hardly ever go into these places so don't know what they offer! I want to see what sizes/flavours etc they offer before I decide what to have. Having said that I usually know that I want (say) a hot chocolate so it's just checking that before I order.

EverybodyHatesATourist thanks for that.

Slightly ashamed I've never heard of it as I actually hail from Lancashire.

Would the family walk /National Trust be suitable for a 2.5 year old?

I want to visit Chatsworth too, so we could have a weekend and also visit Grindleford also? Whaddya think?

'Tell us if you want your coffee black, we're not mind-readers'

Sorry fro the Peak District hijack, Vviola!

Not at all toffee! It's giving me holiday plan ideas

Ooh ... Anyone up for a MN Fast Track meet-up at Grindleford? Wouldn't last long, mind. We could even get "It's the faffers, I tell you" t-shirts made in advance.

Tea comes in pints

This I like!

Anyone who gets their tea from Starbucks is being unreasonable. It's like dishwater.

Grindleford awww

Have waited at Hassop station for over 20 mins for a cuppa.

Told them they should have a pop up kiosk for outside

They need self service points like they have in Mc D's. If someone spends 10 mins deciding what they want it will mean their own drinks are held up.

AnUtterIdiot agree about a cheese toastie being a beautiful breakfast. It does a good job after a night of drinking.

Last month I got off the ferry at Portsmouth around 8am, made it to services with a Costa and had a melty chese and sundried tom sandwich. Mmmmmm My life was perfect for 15 mins.

Haha Everybody, I got married in Grindleford (and am currently 30 weeks pregnant and planning walks there with small child..perhaps not including a coffee stop now!)

My old local cafe was notorious for employing very handsome Italian staff. Obviously the queues in the morning would be out the door & the staff would take their time with the young 20 something pretty things. I just want my latte ffs, it's a cafe not a bloody dating agency. I may have said that loudly on my way out

I am afraid faffers have always been there. As as student I worked in a department store cafe in the mid 90s when the choice of coffee was large/small and black/with milk. We would ask 'large or small' and 1/3 of these people would say 'yes'. AGH WHICH ONE?? Then you have to ask with milk...and these people would without fail have a think about it.

Meanwhile the queue would be out the door - frequently these people would also have asked 'what is the soup today' - there were always two and always written on about six signs. When told they would then ask whether we had some other soup. If really lucky they'd then move to the icecream bar and faff about wondering whether they should have chocolate or strawberry sauce.

These are almost certainly the parents of the coffee bar faffers - they are also the 'ooh do I need to get my passport out' in the fecking passport line, they are also the 'ooh do I need my Oyster card' people as they approach the barrier. They do not need their own line they need a boot in the bum.

And breathe....

My dd is a mini faffer, she's only 5! It took her half an hour to choose a pair of tights! I dread to think what she's going to be like when she's old enough to order coffee!

toffee It's about two hours actual walking, very pretty woods and a stream. It gets busy on a nice day, people have picnics along the way (but then you'd miss the delights of the cafe!)

Alternatively - Hassop station cafe is good, very close to Chatsworth, but as Only has just pointed out you'll have to wait longer, and no rude signs. You can hire bikes from there and ride along the old railway track, called the Monsal trail, but it goes through tunnels and they're quite dark so might be too much for a 2.5 year old?, traffic free though.

EverybodyHatesATourist Thanks so much!

Forget Hassop, I need the rude signs!

t-shirt

'My old local cafe was notorious for employing very handsome Italian staff. '

Ahem.

Mine did too.

But I can no longer go in there because I went in once with Spaghetti bolognese all over my face so now I have to stick with a generic cafe that employs on merit rather than looks.

I cannot face those hot Italians again! When I got home DH said ' You didn't go out like that, did you?"

ToffeeBoffin I'm sure you looked unforgettable!

The Monsal trail and Hassop cafe are great! Sorry for thread hijack

It should definitely be against the rules to buy more than one coffee, as well. People who buy four at 8:30 in the morning need to suffer in some way, and my death stare is actually pretty rubbish when directed at the back of someone's head. Doesn't make them burst into flames or anything.

If you got up at 6am and are heading somewhere where you won't get lunch for the next 4-5 hours then I can see why a sandwich would be wanted.
Or if you're going somewhere where there isn't many food options and you really love cheese sandwiches 😂
Annoys me when I just want to quickly buy a sandwich and they spends 5 minutes making a coffee for someone else before they'll take my money!!!!

The advert on here for me is 'Artisan Coffee School' which is just code for faffer college isn't it?:o

My best friend is a massive Starbucks wanker. Grande decaf americano with a little soya milk and a shot of sugar free hazelnut syrup. In the summer she has that on ice. I apologize to the staff in advance if I'm ordering for her.

Why does coffee have its own language? I can't stand the stuff and hate having to order on behalf of a friend. Surely a request for coffee should be black/ white, x amount of sugar, job done

Fortunately I don't frequent coffee shops often as I'm not a fan of hissy poncey coffee machines ruining the ability to hold a conversation.

And another thing ... Why are tills always arranged so that after picking up a cold drink and sorting food, you're obliged to wait behind the faffy poncey coffee queue, whereas the cold drinks or food can frequently be bypassed without looking like you're butting into the queue.

These things do not help endear me to the concept of drinking hot bitter brown stuff