To think there should be a fast lane in coffee shops?

[vvviola]

I am boring have simple requirements in the morning. I go to the same coffee shop beside my office and get the same order (cappuchino and croissant). I even sometimes have the exact change in my hand. All I want is to get my coffee and get to my desk.

Every morning this week there have been people who couldn't make up their mind, or wanted the staff to make something out of the ordinary. This morning we had "do you do cheese sandwiches, oh, you have sandwiches over there, let me look at them while the people with me are changing their minds 6 times about what scone to have, oh, can you not just make a plain cheese sandwich"

First of all, who on earth wants a cheese sandwich at 9am, and second of all aaaarrrgghh

So. Fast lane for people who don't faff? I may be U as I haven't finished my coffee yet

[SevenOfNineTrue]

My pet peeve is those people that wait in line for ages to pay for petrol then get to the till and don't know which pump to pay for. They say 'the red car', the cashier says the price, they say 'no not that one' and starts peering into the forecourt to try and identify their vehicle. Grrrr.

[Melonaire]

Before their ilk people had instant from the BHS cafe.

[EverybodyHatesATourist]

You should visit the station cafe at Grindleford. I get the impression anyone loitering there will be shot.
They have a lovely array of handwritten signs: "We do not sell mushrooms, never have done. So don't bother asking" plus one considering banning children under ten "due to parents disregarding control of their tiny tots"

[JapanNextYear]

Fast track for tea drinkers!

[TheCatsMeow]

YANBU I always have something simple and it's annoying when someone in front wants the entire menu

[tomatodizzy]

You'd hate where I live OP. No one does anything in a hurry and to ask someone to move on is considered deeply impolite and probably won't get you anywhere anyway because they won't budge. On the plus side, we grow coffee so that balances it out and makes it bearable. YANBU, why not suggest it to the coffee shop?

[Melonaire]

I love the mushroom sign

[hufflebottom]

Today's one: was shopping had loaded on to the belt and the person in front of me mid packing realises she's forgotten something.

She comes back with another 5 items all from all over the shop. If it's more than one item finish your shop then go back round.

Very impatient irrational pregnant lady today.

[liz70]

"our office doesn't have any tea making facilities and I can't get through the day without a cup of tea!"

Could you take your own kettle (okayed by works electrician, obviously) and supplies in? DH does this.

[PrincePondicherry]

I came on to say what faded red said. Except pop a bag of croissants in your bag. Then take a cafetière to work and store there with a nice bag of posh coffee. No faff on the commute then. :)

[JassyRadlett]

YABU. Leave earlier in the morning so you have time to actually live life.

Curiously, I find spending time with my family in the morning slightly more life-enhancing than hanging around in cafe queues while the cashier is kept busy by those baffled by the process of ordering.

[biboergosum]

Fast lane for black coffee only. In coffee mug size. Exact change.

The other lane is for "skinny soy milk babychino but real malt sugar and a blueberry, no wait blackberry muffin, but a skinny one please and take out the yolks, eggwhite only cake. Can I have a sprinkling of cocoa on the babychino right in the middle."

[Lucked]

Cappuccino drinkers should be in the slow faffy lane what with all the milk frothing and chocolate dusting.

Fast lane for tea and filter coffee only. No need to use the fancy coffee machine.

[Lucked]

An aeropress creates less mess than an cafetière.

[ilovesooty]

I was wondering why people wouldn't want a cheese sandwich at 9am. It's part of standard continental breakfast buffets.

[ThatsNotMyHouseItIsTooClean]

I also get infuriates when a non-essential machine stops working and all members of staff have to go & deal with it. No! One of you deal with it, one of you shout "the frother (or whatever it is) isn't working so you can't have A, B or C" at regular intervals whilst getting on with your regular job & the rest of you just do your job.
I was in the local M&S cafe a few years ago with toddler DD & few week old DS. After five minutes in the queue, it hadn't moved as all three members of staff were dealing with someone's glorified milk shake order. DS was screaming & DD was getting antsy as she was hungry & bored so I just took our tray to a table, fed DS, gave DD her sandwiches, fruit & drank and drank the water I'd taken for myself & went and paid once we'd finished. The staff hadn't even noticed.
Since then, I've always thought there should be a rule that, if you're not served within X minutes, you get it for free although I realise the problem with my plan is it penalises the business rather than the people faffing around with their orders or who, on seeing the milkshake thing has broken, don't say "don't worry, I can have X instead".

[vvviola]

Well yes, Ilovesooty, if one is at a continental breakfast buffet. Not so much at the takeaway counter (there is a separate sit down counter) of a small pastry/coffee shop in city centre Dublin.

Lucked the place I go are fast at cappuchino making even with all the frothing etc. It's the faffers that cause the problem, I tell you, the faffers

I am now appropriately caffeinated so not so grumpy.

[toffeeboffin]

I need to go to Grindleford to that station cafe.

but where the fuck is Grindleford?

[StillYummy]

Goat tinder!!! Pmsl

[toffeeboffin]

I get the whole 'get a cafetiere in your office and buy a bag of croissants to last all week' attitude but it's just not the same is it?

I've tried it, if you are saving money it's great but if not and just want convenience then it's not a solution.

I agree there should be a lane for coffees only though - or regulars like our OP.

[toffeeboffin]

Anyone else imaging Vviola saying 'the faffers, I tell you the faffers' in a broad Irish accent

[Twistedheartache]

My frustration is that the same staff can push customers through speedily at rush hour but take forever on a Saturday afternoon
Faffers should be banned though pita - it's a chain, they all sell the same

[mrsplum2015]

I ring and order in advance and therefore expect to be in the "fast lane" to pay so get annoyed when I'm not!

[EverybodyHatesATourist]

Grindleford is in the Peak District, there's a fab family walk there along Padley Gorge/ the Longshaw Estate. At one end there's a National Trust tearoom and then...there's the station cafe.
You can tell people who haven't been there before because they're looking at the dozens of signs absolutely goggle-eyed ("Tell us if you want your coffee black, we're not mind-readers")
Tea comes in pints

[Melonaire]

I may have to visit just for the signs.