AIBU to be annoyed at emails addressed to Sir

[mshomefries]

I monitor a mailbox in work that's used to deal with enquiries from the general public.

Quite a few emails are addressed Dear sir or dear sirs and it bugs me every time!

It happens so often. Does anyone else get this and does it annoy you, or AIBU?

Of course the masculine implies the feminine. Nothing feminine actually needs direct acknowledgement

Seriously I know that used to be acceptable but it just won't cut it today. And how can something that a large number of people find rude be still considered correct etiquette ?

I was also taught that Dear Sirs was the right salutation when addressee was unknown but I have worked out for myself since that that is a shit rule and therefore never use it.

Dear company x or Dear Customer Services does a much better job of just not being rude and outdated.

YANBU, I thought Dear Sir/Madam was the standard if you didn't know the name of the person you were writing to, not assuming they were a man! Although starting with a salutation as a pp suggested is a good idea too.

Go echt! I will try "Dear Madam or Sir" sometime too.

Oh dear, I sent an email job application recently, the instruction was to email to HRdept@companyname, I started it Dear Sirs - maybe that's why I haven't heard back from them

I usually use "Hello" or "Dear Company X". Would never use Dear Sir/s.

I work for a university and have access to a shared inbox. Most emails start with "Hello" or just dive in with no salutation. We occasionally get emails from overseas students, and some of them have brilliant openers. "Dear Honoured and Respected Doctor, Greetings to you on this beautiful day." They make me smile!

I use "Dear (company name)" so "Dear mumsnet...."

I once got put to the top of the interview 'list' as a result of me getting the addressee name correct.
The ad said to address correspondence to N. Symington-Jones. As I sat there, pen poised, I couldn't work out if I should write Mr or Mrs, so I rang the company. It was a Miss who was receiving the correspondence and Cvs, so that's how I addressed it.
I was the only person who called! (Disclaimer: this was pre-Internet). Niccky immediately put my CV at the top of the list. I got the job!

I like Dear Sirs. Generally I like uses of language that can be read as including more than one gender - Dear Sirs (specifically the plural) I read and use as meaning 'formal method to address people [of more than one gender] who will be reading this'.

Dear Sir/Madam implies there are only two genders and also that only one person is going to deal with the correspondence.

I usually use "Dear Sirs and/or Mesdames", but this thread is making me re-think that approach.

I usually use "Dear Sirs and/or Mesdames", but this thread is making me re-think that approach.

I like Dear Sirs. Generally I like uses of language that can be read as including more than one gender - Dear Sirs (specifically the plural) I read and use as meaning 'formal method to address people [of more than one gender] who will be reading this'.

Except I'm not sure exactly how many people there are knocking about that do still read that as including more than one gender. I read it as lazy and unthinking (or worse), to be honest. A throwback to the days where women weren't involved in anything that could possibly involve correspondence in a business setting (at least not in the sense that they might possibly be important enough to have anything addressed to them). If the habit of using the masculine to refer to everyone evolved out of simple convenience, as opposed to it being taken as read that women being involved in anything of importance was so unlikely as to render it unnecessary to take them into consideration when addressing unknown recipients, I will eat my hat.

To be strictly Correct (Debrett's tyoe of Correct), one starts with Dear Sir and ends Yours faithfully. (If one starts Dear Mr X, one ends Yours sincerely.) Useless bit of info for the day number 12

I like to start with a winking smiley emoticon and sign off with painting nails.

If Dear Sirs could be correct then surely Dear Mesdames would also be acceptable and imply both genders.

A lot of the emails that come to my workplace are addressed 'Dear Sirs'. It annoys me and I know some of you say this encompasses women as well, but it just seems sexist and lazy. My old manager had a clearly female name and used 'Miss' in her title and people would constantly reply to her with 'Dear Mr...', like a woman couldn't possibly be in that role.

Are we still talking about just emails? If so starting Dear/ending Yours anything is out.

It's Hello name or Good Morning/Afternoon, ending with kind/regards.

I'm pretty sure whilst qualifying to be a solicitor I was told to only use Sirs. I would very very rarely (never) use 'to whom it may concern'.

nextusername said ""Dear Sir" used to be the etiquette but these days it's polite to make sure women are overtly included, so it's "chairperson" not "chairman" etc."

Oddly enough, I know some female chairmen. They refuse to be called chairwomen and, quite understandably, also hate being called "the chair". If that's what they prefer, then that's their preference, regardless of what etiquette is, or was, or what we were taught in school (I did GCSE Keyboarding and RSA 1 and 2 and was taught always Dear Sir and never Dear Sir/Madam unless you knew the name, in which case you used it).

It's like some actresses refuse to be called actresses and insist on being called an actor. There are others who insist on being called an actress.

In other words, there will probably never be a right or wrong. All we can do is try our best guesses and hope we don't offend!

The idea that Dear Sirs is beautifully simple because it includes both genders automatically is nonsense. We're just very used to being ignored and excluded by language. The fact that we are virtually immune to it doesn't make it benign.

When men try on this line about chairman and Dear Sirs being gender neutral (I've also seen Gentlemen as a salutation) I suggest we try my version of gender neutral - Dear Ladies - with ladies implicitly including gentlemen. The shudder speaks for itself.

I do not regard 'Dear Sir' to be inclusive of both genders. And how sexist and arrogant of the Sir who came up with that particular bit of nonsense.

I like to start with a winking smiley emoticon and sign off with painting nails.

I might start doing that.

Another here who was taught Dear Sirs at school but hates it. Totally OTT for an email anyway. I use Hello, Hello First Name or Dear First Name if I feel the need to be extra polite. I don't tend to send letters to unknown people anymore but would feel a bit off using just hello as the salutation. Don't really Sir/Madam or Madam/Sir.

Or could you write Dear Company Name?

That might work, right?

^Dear Company Name

Here is my new address

Yours faithfully

F. Igginz^

I use Good Morning/Good afternoon, if I'm not sure who to address an email to.

Most of the time I have a name but some names are not clear (eg Chris Smith could be either male or female, tricky).

Oooh, Raspberry, I really like the Good Morning/Good Afternoon thing. I might start using it, although part of my brain is telling me that I don't know when they will open the e-mail so how do I know which to use??

I don't get the good morning/afternoon either.

Do you choose depending on when you're typing or when the addressee will read it. What do you do if typing email in the evening? It doesn't make much sense to me