AIBU to be annoyed at emails addressed to Sir

[mshomefries]

I monitor a mailbox in work that's used to deal with enquiries from the general public.

Quite a few emails are addressed Dear sir or dear sirs and it bugs me every time!

It happens so often. Does anyone else get this and does it annoy you, or AIBU?

Who considers 'Dear Sir/Madam' to be poor etiquette?

Debretts?

Thanks Katharina! Glad to see Debrett's moving with the times.

'Dear Sir' or 'Dear Sirs' always cause me a ripple of irritation.

You must be quite a highly strung sort of person to get worked up over this?

Whereas you seem totally chilled out......

ourblanche, when did 'mr' carry no gender? Since it is an abbreviation of a male-gendered title, I don't follow how that can be.

I don't hugely mind 'Dear Sir/Madam', but 'Dears Sir' or 'Dears Sirs' is rude, and 'Dear Madams' sounds like an eighteenth-century brothel to me.

"Dear Sir" used to be the etiquette but these days it's polite to make sure women are overtly included, so it's "chairperson" not "chairman" etc.

"Dear Sir or Madam" is fine, as opposed to "Dear Sir/Madam" (which means "Dear Sir and/or Madam").

Reminds me of my Mum always chuckling at "dear sir stroke madam". MATRON!

I always use "to whom it may concern" if I am not sure who I am writing to.
It's how I would wish to be addressed, although my work email address is
'[email protected]. and my firstname is quite clearly a woman's name.

Ha! No, I'm really not worked up about it. It just bugs me, but it's interesting to see the views here :)

Jeanne I did explain that in the post... I didn't say it was universal.

At least 'Dear Sir or Madam' includes both genders. 'Dear Sir' annoys me. The presumption.

Unless I have a contact name then I just address correspondence to the company, e.g. 'Dear Mountain Warehouse'. I think it's a lot less stuffy than 'To whom it may concern' which seems stiff and formal to me.

But being addressed as Dear Sir doesn't bother me much as like others, I work in male-dominated industry. There are worse things people could call you...

blanche - sorry, could you explain?

In your post you just say it is/was simply an honorific. Did you mean to say that was just in your organisation at the time?

Jeanne I think I outlined the context quite clearly.

You did - I just read it differently because of the way it was punctuated. I didn't meant to upset you at all. I just hadn't followed.

I know what you mean, though - I really like Battlestar Gallactica for this. They just use 'sirs' as an honorific for everyone, regardless of gender, and it's a really interesting thought experiment.

OK! I shall punctuate like a demon... mind you, the Battlestar Galactica link has bemused and amused me

Oh, do check it out! It's great.

And your punctuation was fine - I was just following slowly.

No, doesn't bother me mshomefries.

I use Dear Sir, Madam. Seems nicer than Sir/Madam.

When I don't use 'Oi! Listen up!' That is.

Wasn't there a general principle that unless otherwise indicated, use of the masculine implied encompassing the feminine ? Or something like that ? It was on a "QI" a while back. Which was also the same source for a passage Stephen Fry quoted from the 1930s explaining that the use of "England" and "Britain" were synonymous, and one was implied in the other.

Of course correct use of Sir/Madam requires the sender is conversant in English to a certain level, in particular the nuances of names. Which, in our multicultural and shrinking world can't be assumed.

I always write "Dear Madam or Sir" because I get pissed off about women coming second.

And of course "Yours Faithfully" at the end, though I fear this getting very old school now.

I cannot be doing with " Kind Regards".

To whom it may concern if you don't know who you are addressing the email to.

I tend to use 'To whom it may concern ' or, in more informal matters "Hi there" or "hello".

I have started using Dear IT Service Desk or Dear Council Tax Enquiries Team in emails. If seemed odd at first but i quite like it now.

I was taught that it should be 'to whom it may concern' if you didn't know the name of the person. This would especially be the case if you are addressing to a possible bank of people - such as customer services as it could be picked up by either a man or a woman. This means you are not making presumptions.

yes, it is formal - but what is wrong with that? I think we've lost a certain amount of politeness by being less formal (just don't get me started on sales people presuming they can call me by my first name rather than "Mrs/Ms Pilgit....

Thanks mypoosmellsofroses - Good morning / Good afternoon is perfect for an email. I'll use that from now on.