Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4

AIBU?

... when a family member copies your engagement ring

96 replies

Neveradullm0ment · 11/01/2016 10:48

Had mine several years. Relative rocks up at Christmas, says she has always liked my ring. She got engaged in the summer and her ring is exactly the same as mine, except it's about twice the size. I said how nice it was (being polite - but was mortified). My ring is antique so slightly unusual - and she had hers made. Now I'm now a jewellery person - I even gave up wearing earrings after DD2, and myt sister has a huge engagement ring so I'm not envious at all. So can someone tell me why am I annoyed/angry about this,it's my DSIL, DH's sister. My ring was chosen by my DD1 - we got engaged when she was 2 years old and DH took her to the jewellers. Maybe that's why I'm annoyed. I'm not going to say anything except rant here!

OP posts:

Report

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 11/01/2016 19:45

I would shriek with delight and thank her profusely for the compliment paid to your taste. Make sure everybody knows it too.

But then my cruelty knows no limits.

Cavaradossi · 11/01/2016 20:05

Disgrace's idea is a nice one.

Honestly, OP, you feel how you feel. But I'm another one who genuinely thinks there's not much to choose between 99% of engagement rings. I read a pretty recent thread on here (where people posted pictures of their engagement rings) with complete bafflement, as posters cooed and shrieked with delight over rings that to me looked virtually identical. I assume that when you get involved in choosing one you get a more nuanced appreciation of them, but I don't think most of it is discernable to the naked eye...

gasman · 11/01/2016 20:32

Interesting.

My sister has a very cool ring. She bought it with some money from our Mother's estate.

I told my friends about it - two of them, now have them too - one Was bought as a wedding/engagement ring, the other just as a ring. They are all personal (different stones / metals) but the same style.

I'm now thinking about commissioning one.

I wouldn't for a minute expect any of them to get upset.... Maybe I need to check!!

TheCraicDealer · 11/01/2016 20:33

You got a vintage ring- vintage rings are in fashion at the moment, particularly cluster/art deco styles. Is it really that awful that she liked the style and thought she'd get something similar? She's probably not the only one out there who has "your ring".

PegsPigs · 11/01/2016 20:42

It's a mixed bag whether YABU or not but in my opinion YANBU. I wish people would be more original in their thinking.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 11/01/2016 23:43

Disgrace

I like your thinking!

This, and all the similar stories, just remind me again of that Frasier episode, when he starts mentoring the wealthy station owner, educating him of the finer things in life then regretting it when they young man copies Frasier's entire apartment (including the replica Coco Chanel settee) and gets the credit for it. Fraiser is truly heartbroken and you can't help but feel for him, but really it's an absurd situation and you gotta laugh at him for getting so worked up.

(And now I've just made myself want to watch all 11 seasons again. Result! )

ShadowsCollideIsSurroundedByAd · 12/01/2016 00:12

Honestly, this wouldn't bother me for a second. There's only so many ways in which engagement rings can be designed, in fairness.

Mine is gorgeous, and so special to me. But that's because DP had it made for me and gave it to me. There could be a million engagement rings out there just like it and it wouldn't lessen how special this ring is to me. Because none of those rings were given, by my amazing DP, to me, on a beautiful beach.

As it happens, my ring is a solitaire, which is extremely commonplace, but with a design twist that makes it fairly unique. But the uniqueness is secondary to the fact that my wonderful DP gave it to me.

Trickydecision · 12/01/2016 09:08

I can understand why you were annoyed, but don't understand why you were mortified.
Why should you feel ashamed or embarrassed?

maybebabybee · 12/01/2016 09:31

I wouldn't be bothered, most engagement rings look the same to me anyway

chrome100 · 12/01/2016 09:52

I really couldn't give a shit. What difference does it make? You've got your ring, she's got hers.

justmyview · 12/01/2016 10:05

All rings are variations on a theme. First world problem

WhyDoesGastonBark · 12/01/2016 10:19

Total non-issue to me. Infact I would probably be flattered but then my ring did actually belong to a member of my family who told my husband before she died that I had always loved it so it was to be my inheritance and that he should give it to me as my engagement ring. He had it for a year before he did but it was so lovely when I received it.

MamaLazarou · 12/01/2016 10:19

I would not be able to muster up any indignation at all - a non problem, IMO. It's not going to affect your life in the slightest.

Neveradullm0ment · 12/01/2016 10:30

Okay so after posting her, I did chat to my DS, who actually thought I wasn't being unreasonable. She pointed out that DSIL has copied a number of things I've got over the years and she finds it 'slightly creepy' but didn't want to say anything - her words not mine. But I'm glad I posted here first otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it to. It is part of a 'wider issue' and the ring is just one thing of many. Yes it is a first world problem and I love my ring; plus (as DS pointed out) she has much bigger hands than me - so she needs a bigger ring. Thanks for all your comments.

OP posts:

Neveradullm0ment · 12/01/2016 10:30

here

OP posts:

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 12/01/2016 14:59

Never

Have you seen "Single White Female"?
If your SIL copies your exact hair cut and pretends to be you to sleep with your DH you will have to act!

I hope you can eventually forgive her, for your peace of mind.

You could always start wearing outrageous clothes and wigs when you meet her, just to push her to see how far she will go to nick your style.
Madonna cone bras, MC Hammer pants, red DMs and a top hat perhaps?

LagunaBubbles · 12/01/2016 15:21

Is there so little going on your life that this is all you have to worry about? totally unreal!

No whats unreal is someone posting a needless rude post like yours Shazza.

Orrla · 12/01/2016 15:33

DSIL has copied a number of things I've got over the years

Oh the fun I would have with that...

she has much bigger hands than me - so she needs a bigger ring

Every time the ring pisses you off, imagine her Man Hands

Cheeka81 · 06/07/2018 15:31

I checked out this site because I am looking for feed back and answers due to the fact that my husbands brothers wife went out and bought the same ring my husband gave to me. He and I have been married for 2yrs and they have been married for 10yrs. After expressing my disappointment with my husband I have become the bad guy for caring about her copying me. Might I add it is the exact same ring but she got the larger one and added two bands to it. I'm truly bothered and want to confront her but don't want to seem like I'm attacking her. I think she is trying to get under my skin she is much older then I and should be setting an example of a model Christian woman and I don't feel she is doing that by desiring to have what I have.

ToadOfSadness · 06/07/2018 15:35

Zombie thread from 2016

Nodancingshoes · 06/07/2018 16:08

I couldn't care about this op, sorry. Surely many rings look similar? Just smile and nod 😉

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.