To suspect my colleague is lying about cancer

[Houseofmirth66]

My colleague, who is lovely in most respects, has a history of fibbing. She does it a lot and as we've worked together for a number of years I've noted many occasions when a story she tells about her family, a relationship or a holiday clearly turns out to be untrue. I really don't want to think she'd make up something like this but the contradictions in what she says with regard to her treatment and its side effects are becoming increasingly extreme - bordering on outlandish - and I'm wondering if it is a lie that's become so difficult to pull back from that she actually wants to be caught out. Not sure whether I'm being unreasonable in thinking that she could be lying. Or what, if anything, I would do if she were.

"when it comes to", meaning "when the situation involves"

I work with a compulsive liar, her lies are so outrageous its not worth while picking her up on them.
I also have Lupus and a few people were talking about me being diagnosed in the staffroom. Liar lady said "oh I have that too. I've had it for years".
Apparently everyone just sat and looked at her and it was never mentioned again.
I'm actually surprised she doesn't lie more about her health tbh.

I have approximately no sympathy for MSBP. Abuse is abuse.

I just find it desperately sad when I encounter women terrified to confront their own illness because they are so afraid of what people will think they have done/could do to their kids.

I agree though - just jumping ship is the most frequent course of action. Which is also sad - because it really is possible to help.

My sister did this. To the extent that she told Social Services, and asked for a special meeting with her siblings (mostly in foster care) to say goodbye and pass on medical information that we urgently needed. She spent hours messaging anyone with a name similar to mine, saying she was dying and desperately needed to talk to me. She messaged my work, my ex partner, my friends, my old school, anyone.

She'd shaved her head, and she "created" a lump just big enough to show under her clothes. She walked slowly with a stick, she looked completely pale and washed out, she kept slurring her words. She told us she'd had breast cancer that had spread, that it was now in her spine. That she had kidney failure too, and doctors had told her her organs would fail. She bought official looking letters that stressed how vital it was that we had ourselves checked. We were "Very likely" to have the same conditions, according to the letter, and if any of us were lucky enough not too, we could potentially save my sister for a few months if we gave her blood and a transplant. She sobbed as she handed them out.

In actual fact, she'd shaved her head the week before, just after requesting the meeting. She didn't eat for two days before meeting us, so that she was weak. The lump was some kind of sporting device for protecting a nipple piercing during sports. She didn't need the stick. She'd stolen and edited the letter online.

Social Services hadn't investigated, so couldn't help. My little sister was only 8, and her adoptive family sobbed. They were inconsolable that she might die. She went through a lot of testing. They wouldn't believe she was healthy. They were petrified she'd be like her sister, and suddenly be terminal one day. I had a lot of tests too - I've got kidney and spine problems and the doctors were concerned.

She is fine. She never admitted that she made it up - the closest we got was her saying she might "have misled us accidentally". She wouldn't apologise for the endless testing she put us through, the stress.

Every year and a half, she's ill again. It's back, she's going to die, we'll all be sorry that we don't believe her. It's exhausting.

Good grief Anchor that's just awful.

Anchor, how terrible!

How hideous Anchor. Such damage caused so so many people.

It can be awful either way round :(

My mother was vile and spat vitriol about me and my sister 'making it up', doing it 'for attention' from a very early age. She continued to spread lies and make sure no one believed us. Throughout my sisters terrible illnesses and painful deterioration. Carried on doing it even in the week my sister died 'it's all in her head'. And she went on to nod and whisper and agree with my abusive STBXH as they both decided I was 'putting it on' when I became severely disabled, apparently it was 'all in my head' too. Diagnosed with a genetic illness which would be what my sister died of too (anniversary of her death in the next few days). And then my dad too (NY day 2015).

The latest blow has been finding out that my parents knew about the probability of the genetic condition before me and my sister were even born.

I don't have the ability to empathise with a mother who spends a lifetime denying her children's (& husbands) pain and illness, and trying to block medical diagnosis, care or treatment. With the knowledge of what was happening.

I wonder if there's an inverse Munchausen by proxy?! Definitely not the behaviour of a well person. Or maybe it's easier to understand as a mh problem than someone choosing to cause such pain.

I have an epilepsy type that doesn't have "standard" epilepsy symptoms. It's the most common type (temporal lobe) but is hardly ever diagnosed because the symptoms are very similar to low blood sugar, déjà vu, vertigo, feeling a bit tired etc. I stay conscious during partial seizures too.

I was seen by a neurologist in 2008. I had brain scans etc and was absolutely terrified because my dad had died of a brain tumour at the exact same age I was then. It sounds fanatical I know. And the neurologist couldn't say for def what it was until the results had come back so I was in limbo for about 2 weeks.

Of course it was clear, I was diagnosed with vertigo and all was fine... Until I had a full blown seizure in 2011 which gave me my proper epilepsy diagnosis. But anyone I spoke to in 2008 about this must have thought I was an absolute hypochondriac/liar. I was shitting myself at the time and was going out of my mind with speculation - whilst waiting for the results especially. So often people don't "lie". They are waiting for diagnosis (3 years till my proper diagnosis) and have all sorts of possibilities running through their brains.

That said, some of these stories sound like far more than a bit of health anxiety. to anyone who has been through a hard time. Anchor & Miscellaneous, they are harrowing stories.

God, Anchor and Miscellaneous - what awful stories and times you've both had. and love to you, and anyone else affected by similar. :(