To not find time to bath my children?

[Poppybella2015]

Ok they do get a bath on a Sunday morning with bubbles and a hair wash, like I did as a child. The house also gets cleaned on a Sunday. But then life takes over.

Weekdays after school are a combination of clubs (2 a week) friends over, relatives popping round to see the kids, by the time we have had dinner I think oh my god the kids need to go to bed or it will be too late for them! (They currently sleep 8-7 and I have to wake them on a school day they are two and six) the toddler smells a bit cheesy by about Tuesday, the older one could do with another bath as she sometimes wees her pants at school and then sits in them :( my house turns into a tip in the week too as I always get invited to see a relative/go to a toddler group etc and then when toddler naps I flake out in exhaustion as I have an on going sinus infection and toddler wakes me a couple of times a night.

I really want to have a nice clean home, nice clean kids, be in a nice relaxed routine but life just seems to get in the way and make everything rushed.

I'm sure most people are hectic in the week and those that are not how do you do it? Should I be refusing play dates etc? Ignore relatives when they come round and bath the kids instead? Just tell people I'm busy but risk loosing friends??

Help!!

It is a form a neglect, its a basis need. Its my opinion

Why do people read the OP or half the thread, hoik their judgy pants and jump right in?

Poppy has taken comments on board and said she's going to implement a new routine. She's a woman who is struggling, she's admitted that. MN is about helping and supporting parents, not giving them a kicking when they're down, ffs!

Good luck with your new routine Poppy and enjoy your day.

There's no excuse for this really. My kids are 16months and 5yrs. I'm on my own in the evenings as dp works late hours and I manage to bath them Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, at least!! We still manage various lessons and bed by 7:30pm. We visit relatives once a week for dinner too.

Just be strict about implenting a routine;
5pm dinner
6:30pm upstairs, lay out pjs, run bath
6:50pm kids in bath, wash
7pm youngest out, dried into pjs
7:10pm eldest out, dried into pjs
7:20pm stories
7:30pm bed

Just adjust to suit your timings but honestly it's not hard. I do struggle to keep on top of chores though, but my kids are always clean!

I am glad to read your update and that you'll sort this out. You need to cut out those visits by relatives and friends in the evening. Your DC's cleanliness and hygiene takes preference over visits from relatives.

OP it's hard being a mum, you're doing a great job and you have a fab plan now!!
Good luck xxx

My DM has been known to sit on the look and chat to DC in the bath. If relatives what to see small DC that much, get them to play with the kids in the bath.

Look=loo

This is a joke, right?

If not you are what my Gran would have called "slovenly". Seriously, you'd rather socialist than keep your kids clean? Your child smells "cheesy"?

My dc have a bath every night. 2yo comes back smelling of nursery, plus poo and wee on skin causes nappy rash, and 5yo just likes playing in baths or the shower.

I work 4 days a week. We don't have visitors on work days as we don't have time. I get in at 530. We eat then bath then story time. Bed is at 730. Bath takes anything from 5 mins to 20 depending on how quick tea is.

The dc enjoy it. If we are in a rush then the eldest showers and 2yo has a sink wash.

I appreciate that you don't have to do it every night but - yuk to only once a week! Ditch the visitors.

OP, you sound exhausted and overwhelmed, but it does sound as if what is exhausting and overwhelming you is stuff that can easily be done without. Social life shouldn't be making you feel like this, so ban visitors to the house apart from at a time that suits you all - their presence certainly shouldn't be interfering with your young children's meals, bath- and bedtime. Ditto twice-weekly clubs, which simply aren't necessary for a six year old if they are making life in your household unmanageable!

What's stressing you out is a bit puzzling - you are not obliged to attend toddler groups or host relatives if it means your house is chaotic, your children are unwashed, and that makes you so unhappy, you know! Maybe you need to reassert boundaries - your posts make it sound as if you have no control over toddler group attendance or who comes to your house! Just don't attend or don't let people in if it isn't convenient. Most families with a SAHP don't have time for that kind of socialising on weekdays because of tired children, evening meals, homework, bath time and bed!

OP it's great you came on here for advice and are being receptive to help. Ignore all the judgers.

3littlefrogs advice is great. I did that with my two with dry skin.

Buy lots of cheap flannels that you can have a couple of fresh ones everyday.

My routine was
Upstairs and into bathroom with both, run water into washing up bowl and add oilatum or whatever, kids strip off and put clothes in laundry whilst you are doing this. One child (little one) stands in bath and has hands, face, neck, feet and privates washed by you with a flannel. Rinse with a plastic jug. Out into a big towel. Meanwhile oldest one cleans teeth. Then oldest one into bath and washes own face and hands whilst you dry little one and do teeth for them. Little one sits in towel whilst you help oldest to do feet, privates and neck etc. Rinse oldest with jug and out into a towel. Do eczema creams etc for both, into pjs.

Hang towels to dry. Put flannels in laundry basket and use two fresh ones the next day. (Washing with a stinky flannel undoes all your good work!)

After that I'd go straight into bed because coming back downstairs starts another lot of playing, running about, chatting etc. So, into bed. Read to little one. Oldest looks at a book themselves. Quick night night cuddle. Lights off.

Eczema varies so much it's silly to say that all children with eczema should/shouldn't be washed daily.
I bathed my DD every night as part of her bedtime routine for over a year. GP told me to stop as it was making her worse, cut it down to 2-3 times a week. Every case of eczema is slightly different

Can't your husband and you take turns cooking while other one baths the kids if it's too later after tea?

It takes a lot to realise you are struggling and ask for help.

Well done, and well done for getting a plan into place so quickly too.

op, good luck with the new routine.

Could everyone who is giving the OP a hard time please RTFT?

OP, please don't be upset. You are brave to have posted about this and I know you'll do a good job of keeping your DC clean from now on .

Sunbeam, instead of saying 'it's this' and 'it's that', why not offer some constructive advice. You sound smug and superior.

I'm sure you do things that others would find 'disgusting'.

Both myself and ds2 are allergic to e45
It's got lanolin in!
Best things (aside from topical steroids) that I have found are aveeno. They do a fab colloidal bath oil and shower gel.
Also epaderm.
Good luck op.

My son had an incredibly severe case of eczema and in fact was hospitalised at one point for complications, so I have a bit of experience at hand. Nighttime tepid, oily baths (oilatum) kept his skin in check.

I also used the bath time to get through his school reading homework so it wound up being pretty time-efficient.

Some of the responses are pathetic really! I wonder if that was your mate coming to you for help, would you call her disgusting and neglectful?

On page 8 the OP outlines her plan of action to remedy the points in her OP.

Just saying....

OP - just wanted to wish you luck for implementing the new routine. Personally I find it easiest to use same routine every night rather than just some nights (and find it encourages good sleep patterns) - dinner, quick shallow bath (not much more than a splash but enough to get clean) story and sleep. I know its hard but I also think you need to get relatives being more involved rather than expecting you to entertain them- and if you start training them now, they should get more helpful as time goes on! As others have said, if they insist on coming round they should fit in with your routine and be happy to help with baths, homework supervision etc.

I do also think you need to get some support for yourself too - you sound at the end of your tether. Best wishes.

Because it's Mumsnet Fairy. Heaven forbid anyone take the time to read a long thread. They need to state 'their opinion'.

You sound completely exhausted. I'm wondering whether it's because you seem to be keeping everyone else happy or whether this sinus infection is having an affect? Either way I do think a blood test to rule out a medical reason would be beneficial.

With regards bath - shower head and flannel are your friend! For a start it cuts out the time spent running the bath and you can keep hair dry if needs be. I'd add a hair wash in for them midweek too.

What about getting a slow cooker to cut out the physical time spent cooking? You can also batch cook this way freeing up some time to fit in other things.

BrandNewAndImproved

Hmm, I think my immersion must be prehistoric, it doesn't have a timer or any modes at all. Just a switch to turn it on and off and another for bath or sink! The boiler I have doesn't heat water either just runs the heating system. We just tend to use the electric shower while the bath gets dusty!

I don't think anyone who works can't have baths! I just didn't realise how modern systems worked!

I'd love hot water on demand, we only get it by appointment....