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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with ds teacher and speak to the new headteacher

86 replies

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 08/01/2016 20:01

Ds is asd also SN and has a statement. In general homework is a nightmare and despite him being in year 5 ( age 9-10) I can not understand his writing neither can the teacher.

This week after a lot of encouragement and tears and tantrum he learnt his spelling but come to the test he had 1 right. I have already told the teacher of my plan which involves financial gain if he got 1/2 right. In which her response is what went on Adam, how come it went pear shaped.

Now that left ds confused as with asd generally they don't get sayings and 2 why question a child like that.

The homework set this weekend in which he was made to write I can not understand in which the teacher replied that she could not either.

Should I complain as I feel like the teacher has no clue ( sorry to the teachers on MN I know 1 bad apple don't spoil an apple field)

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 08/01/2016 20:42

have a chat with a teacher. She has 30 kids in her class, we all say things at times without thinking and politely ask her to check hw in future. Does he have a TA or extra support beyond the teacher?

LynetteScavo · 08/01/2016 20:49

You can't expect a teacher never to use a turn of phrase when speaking to your son.

She may one day comment "It's raining cat's and dogs."

your DS will see that it isn't and may be a little confused, but over time he will come to understand that when it's raining heavily people may say this.

Is this the first time your DS has had to write down the homework himself? What usually happens?

If you think this teacher has no clue, I presume there are other issues too.

Go and speak to the new headteacher. I'm sure she's love to meet you.

Notimefortossers · 08/01/2016 20:51

'Fuming' is definitely OTT!

Amoamasamat · 08/01/2016 20:52

YABU.

LynetteScavo · 08/01/2016 20:53

I thought it was "one bad apple spoils the whole barrel". Confused

LieslVonTrap · 08/01/2016 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justkeepongoing · 08/01/2016 21:02

I wouldn't be fuming, the teacher was a little thoughtless but not a hanging offence in my opinion.
It can be very stressful for a child with SN to complete homework. For starters he'll be tired from a day at school. In my experience I would differentiate homework so that it is manageable for him. Looking towards the future I'd be looking at him recording his work on a device such as a laptop to build up keyboard skills. This can be used as evidence of need when he comes to sit more formal exams. The sooner strategies are in place the better.

RealityCheque · 08/01/2016 21:02

What is an "apple field"?

Don't apples grow on trees?

LynetteScavo · 08/01/2016 21:06

An apple field is an orchard.

lillybloom · 08/01/2016 21:10

As a worker in the asd field I would say complain! The teacher is obviously not trained in asd or would be very aware that such idioms are confusing and stressful to the child. She may well be a fabulous teacher but unschooled in the needs of asd. I would raise the issue and encourage further training for her. I would also suggest you move this to the education sen board where others will understand your concerns.

EssexMummy1234 · 08/01/2016 21:16

Come on folks OP may well have asd herself.

JessicasRabbit · 08/01/2016 21:19

What did the teacher say when you asked her to rephrase due to DSs asd? If she seemed confused or annoyed then an email to the head might be a good idea.

However, if this is the first time it's happened since she started teaching your DS then maybe forgive and forget. She needs additional training if she doesn't know that idioms should be avoided when dealing with students with asd, but as a one off its worth remembering that teachers make mistakes too.

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 08/01/2016 21:20

FFS it's no wonder the teaching profession is struggling to recruit and retain

This. God - who'd be a teacher if you'd have to face down this stream of shite on a daily basis?

As for this She may well be a fabulous teacher but unschooled in the needs of asd - how fucking multi-talented do you want her to be on a 24/7 basis? What you need here is a robot, not a human being.

Any teachers here - I swear you need an immediate doubling of pay and all of your names going forward for the next round of canonisations!

Bookeatingboy · 08/01/2016 21:20

To be fuming is OTT IMO... just have a word with her to remind her that your ds won't understand her and just get more confused. She didn't mean to do it.

My ds ASD once had a major panic attack in school when he first started, all because the CT was telling him the fire alarm was "going off" and he was literally waiting for it to stop, because the phrase "the fire alarm is going off" is wrong and should be "fire alarm is going on!" He is technically right of course Grin

Not laughing that he had a panic attack, was very scary at the time, but he has got lots better with idioms over the years because we practice.

LieslVonTrap · 08/01/2016 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 08/01/2016 21:23

Just speak to the teacher and work out a plan of action. I hardly think it's necessary to go to the head unless the teacher is unhelpful.

shazzarooney99 · 08/01/2016 21:25

Unfortunately the thing with Asd is routine, and seeing through an autistic childs eyes, and unfortunately an autistic child does not tally homework with home, in theyre eyes thats school work and school work belongs in school, i remeber hearing this when at a meeting with a pychologist xxxx if i were you i wouldnt push to have it done at home, i would do what another mother done and ask if they can do it at lunchtime or similar as that way its associated and not as much of a problem.

I am starting to have this with my son at the moment, so its stuck in my head the info that came from that meeting xx

MrsDeVere · 08/01/2016 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stormsurfer · 08/01/2016 21:28

My son has ASD and I sometimes forget and use idioms, but then use it as an opportunity to teach him what the expression means. We are all human. If she was ignoring your DSs difficulties with the test that would be more of a concern than the fact that she was aware he had tried really hard and interested in what had gone wrong. She was trying to problem solve and help him which I think you should be happy about, not fuming. it would be worth having a casual chat with her about idioms and also having a discussion about how to resolve the recording of the HW. Personally, if my DS has not managed to record the HW and nobody has tried to help him with that, I either assume it can't be that important or that I have a legitimate excuse if he can't do it. With ASD there are so many battles to fight you sometimes have to let a few slide by.

ilovesooty · 08/01/2016 21:28

shazza who is supposed to supervise him if he does it at lunchtime?
Won't he be adversely affected if he doesn't get a break in the middle of the day?

PurpleDaisies · 08/01/2016 21:28

Just go and calmly remind the teacher that your son struggles with idioms so it's best she either totally avoids them or is ready to explain what she means to him. You can also work out a plan together for communicating the homework to you in such a way that means you can understand what it says.

I'm sure you've had to do a lot of fighting for your ds in the past. Just remember not everyone is the enemy-teachers are only human and won't get everything right all the time. You will get far better results for your son by working with the school instead of going in all guns blazing over what is probably a slip of the tongue.

lillybloom · 08/01/2016 21:29

Mutton I am a teacher and yes we need to be pretty multi talented and we all need to be trained in asd as the average class will have at least 1 pupil on the spectrum. If a teacher is told a pupil in the class has an sen it is their job to ensure they know more than the basics. ps not using idioms is very basic.

LieslVonTrap · 08/01/2016 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stormsurfer · 08/01/2016 21:32

book your son is correct! As was mine when he answered no, he was not scared of heights....but later confessed he was scared of being at a height!

Judydreamsofhorses · 08/01/2016 21:37

Not entirely relevant here, but I teach a Polish student who carries around a little notebook where she gleefully writes down phrases like "pear shaped" so she can use them in future. As a teacher - although I don't work with students with additional needs - it is incredibly hard to strip out these types of common sayings and I bet the teacher won't be aware she's said anything off here.