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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with ds teacher and speak to the new headteacher

86 replies

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 08/01/2016 20:01

Ds is asd also SN and has a statement. In general homework is a nightmare and despite him being in year 5 ( age 9-10) I can not understand his writing neither can the teacher.

This week after a lot of encouragement and tears and tantrum he learnt his spelling but come to the test he had 1 right. I have already told the teacher of my plan which involves financial gain if he got 1/2 right. In which her response is what went on Adam, how come it went pear shaped.

Now that left ds confused as with asd generally they don't get sayings and 2 why question a child like that.

The homework set this weekend in which he was made to write I can not understand in which the teacher replied that she could not either.

Should I complain as I feel like the teacher has no clue ( sorry to the teachers on MN I know 1 bad apple don't spoil an apple field)

OP posts:
ChicagoMD · 08/01/2016 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MoMoTy · 08/01/2016 20:03

You want to complain because she used a phrase?

TheCatsMeow · 08/01/2016 20:04

I wouldn't complain but I would arrange a meeting with her and explain why saying things like that to your son would confuse him and use it as an opportunity to talk about his needs

MandSPressedApple · 08/01/2016 20:04

Sorry, I don't understand a word of that.

Oakmaiden · 08/01/2016 20:06

How is his handwriting normally? Is he able to write legibly, or is it always illegible?

whois · 08/01/2016 20:06

Um, I don't understand you - you're annoyed she sais 'why did it go pear shaped'? As in she knew he had put all the work in so wanted to understand why it didn't translate to a good spelling test score?

IoraRua · 08/01/2016 20:06

Your post made sense up until the part about the homework. Can you explain that again?

Hihohoho1 · 08/01/2016 20:07

Confused as well. Are you complaining because she used the term 'pear shaped?'

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 08/01/2016 20:07

Were you with your son when she said that? Why didn't you stop her at that point if you knew he hadn't understood?

I appreciate that you need to clarify that he won't get it if that sort of thing is said, but is financial reward really encouraged? Won't that just make him feel even worse that he did so badly? That the teacher is cross/disappointed and he doesn't get the £££s either?

wonderpants · 08/01/2016 20:08

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask why things went wrong when he had learned the spellings. Maybe there was something affecting his ability to 'perform' in the test.

Personally, I try and teach my asd DD as many strange turns of phrase, even though they can confuse her, they are part of the world she has to live in! Better she learns them and what they mean.

So no, I cannot see the issue from your op and wouldn't complain!

Shutthatdoor · 08/01/2016 20:08

Sorry I don't understand why you are complaining? Is it because they used a phrase Hmm

Osolea · 08/01/2016 20:09

Fuming and complaining is a massive over reaction, but I understand that it must be disappointing after you know how much work you and your ds put in, alongwith all the other challenges you have to deal with.

I don't think questioning your ds as to why he thinks he didn't manage to do well on the test despite working hard is bad at all, if anything it could help him think about what could be done to get him to achieve better in future, and that's a good thing.

He will come across odd phrases in life, and the teacher is probably very aware that children with ASD often have difficulties understanding them, she just slipped up. It's a pretty normal thing for people to say, all it has done is provide an opportunity for your ds to learn what a phrase means.

Anomaly · 08/01/2016 20:17

I can understand your frustration that given he has a statement and is diagnosed ASD she should know better how to talk to him. I'm not sure AIBU is a great place for this because on the face of it your complaint seems so petty. But if like me you've been banging on and on and on about the school meeting your son's needs and yet again they're not I can see how this would be another failure on the part of the school to add to the list.

My DS was seen by an Ed psych and while he's not diagnosed ASD he's definitely on the spectrum along with dyslexia and poor motor skills. As a result his hand writing is awful. She was of the opinion that a laptop would be far better for him and we're in the process of moving him onto one. Would that be an option for your son?

FlatOnTheHill · 08/01/2016 20:20
Biscuit
Wendied · 08/01/2016 20:21

You do realise you're complaining about a 'pear shaped' turn of phrase yet you've used an 'apple' turn of phrase?

WombatStewForTea · 08/01/2016 20:21

Not really helpful to the purpose of the thread but there's a really good game called "pull your socks up" that we use with our asd kids. It's good for teaching common idioms.

Supermanspants · 08/01/2016 20:27

Why are you going straight to the head?
Surely it is the teacher you need to speak to if you have an issue although I don't understand what your issue is..... the teacher is a 'bad apple'..... why?

Original poster
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 08/01/2016 20:29

My complaint is that a teacher should know how to address a child with asd, after all every one who knows about autism knows that general sayings confuses them.

2nd about not checking homework before sending it home. If the teacher can't understand what is written how can I help ds complete it.

OP posts:
Youarentkiddingme · 08/01/2016 20:33

wombat is the game available on the general market? I'd like to get that for DS. We've been doing some idiom worksheets off of primary resources as now he's secondary he's struggling with the fact they seem to be used more.

OP what is the problem! The spellings, the homework or use turn of phrase? I've complained before when a teacher has used a phrase to DS that he's taken literally but only because he then got punished for taking it literally.

PatriciaHolm · 08/01/2016 20:34

Do you mean he's written down what his homework task is but you can't read it? Surely he can tell you what it says?

Has she had specific training/guidance on how to deal with your son? Or are you just assuming she should know?

Supermanspants · 08/01/2016 20:37

Then speak to the teacher..... why go to the head?

noblegiraffe · 08/01/2016 20:38

Knowing that students with ASD can struggle to understand idioms doesn't mean that you will never accidentally use one with a student.

I know I have. They usually just say they don't understand what you mean.

MoMoTy · 08/01/2016 20:38

So how do you expect your child to expand his knowledge by forbidding anything new such as phrases? and how is she to know what specific phrases he know or doesn't? That's ridiculous you want to complain over that.

LieslVonTrap · 08/01/2016 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Supermanspants · 08/01/2016 20:41

OP you are making a huge fuss about something that probably requires a chat with the teacher.
FFS it's no wonder the teaching profession is struggling to recruit and retain

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