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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want my DS to be confronted with this large poster when we go to cinema?

417 replies

HubbaBubbaMum · 08/01/2016 10:25

Went to cinema this week with DH, planning to take DS and his brother tomorrow for birthday treat. I can't believe that in 2016 we will be forced to walk past this poster and that they have even called the film Dirty Granpa!
www.movieinsider.com/posters/277857/

Really??? Letching older man perving young woman's suggestively raised arse whilst other man holds 'petrol nozzle' pointing at her?? I don't want my sons seeing this sexist shit.
(only one cinema in our town btw)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 14:45

Unless of course Grandpa also turns out to be a really bad driver...

Ha! Grin

laurierf · 08/01/2016 14:46

A man might look lustfully at a woman, but that does not mean he loses sight of her humanity in doing so

Yes, he does. He is paying no regard whatsoever as to her thoughts and feelings - it is all about his thoughts and feelings. The same is true of the many men and boys who pass comments on women and girls sitting on the bus, walking down the street, on their way to school, going about their everyday business, and make a point of looking them up and down, nudging their mates to have a look too etc. etc. etc. etc. And this is not always "lustfully" - it's also critically and downright nastily. Sure, they know the female is a 'person' - they often make a point of trying to get the attention of the 'person' to make them aware of the looks and comments - but they're not like 'real people' like their grannies, mums, sisters, daughters...

It's absolutely classic to call people who don't like posters like this puritans and prudes and say they've got sexual hang ups. No doubt I'm about to get told that someone feels sorry for me as I clearly have a very low opinion of men and am bitter too Hmm

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 14:47

"I didn't say ALL men. I said "a lot of men". Maybe I'm doing men down - maybe it's more like "half of all men" or "a third of all men". Maybe even a quarter. I live in hope. "

Yeah, maybe you're doing men down. I know hundreds of men and have encountered thousands. I don't know any who have given any indication that they think in line with your cheap sexist stereotyping.

Flamingflume · 08/01/2016 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HubbaBubbaMum · 08/01/2016 14:48

ASA complaint duly posted. Only took a couple of minutes with lots of useful content pasted from on here.

OP posts:
LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 14:49

"LordBrightside is on my list for tit of the week."
Who cares?

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 14:51

"There is a distinct difference between finding a person attractive and finding a headless arse fuckable."

What? The woman does have a head, it's just out of shot for goodness sake, and I'm sure that dirty grampa is keen to get a look at that too. But I don't care and neither should you.

HubbaBubbaMum · 08/01/2016 14:51

PS as I sign off - Lord Brightside - I have a full and active sex life, have done all my adult life with several lovers/partners. Very happy with my sexuality, sex life and everything associated with it. No sex hangs up here matey Wink

OP posts:
catsofa · 08/01/2016 14:51

YANBU.

sonuma · 08/01/2016 14:59

I know this is a bit extreme - but a colleague told me she'd recently witnessed a couple of teen boys laughing and discussing (on public transport) how one of them had "hit that" while watching a video he shot on his phone having anal sex with a girl they both knew.
It really alarmed me. I'm mum to an 11 yr old boy - and as hard as you try to instil good values and respect for others (not to mention for themselves), kids are surrounded by sexist (and violent) imagery and attitudes. Of course this one isn't as extreme - but it's on general view everywhere, and is part of the problem. The more normal the environment it's in, the more 'normal' it seems. How you deal with it is up to you. I'm choosing not to ignore things anymore.

WilLiAmHerschel · 08/01/2016 15:01

Yanbu op. This kind of poster shouldn't have made it past the 70s.

sonuma · 08/01/2016 15:01

Yep ASA complaint posted.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 15:10

I know hundreds of men and have encountered thousands. I don't know any who have given any indication that they think in line with your cheap sexist stereotyping.

I love this argument. That by trying to combat cheap sexist stereotyping of women I am somehow being cheap sexist stereotyping against men. Grin

I know MRA-types already believe this, so I'll put that aside for one moment and say: when you can show me a world where men are demoralised, denigrated, downtrodden, catcalled and abused in the sheer numbers that women are, then I will absolutely agree that I am being sexist stereotyping against men. Until that day, I won't waste any tears worrying about the poor menz fee-fees.

As to your first sentence about knowing / encountering hundreds / thousands of men, as you won't tell me your gender, I can't speak to the capacity in which you've encoutered those men, or why you have apparently encountered all the good men in the world (or, at least, the ones who keep their thoughts and unpalatable behaviours off your radar).

I would wager, however, that the sort of person who thinks the way you do (eg objectification doesn't exist, all those against overtly oppressive female imagery are prudes) tend not to notice, be aware of, or consciously acknowledge these kinds of behaviours. This is a well-known line of thinking in sociology. We notice the kind of behaviours that reinforce our worldview, and ones that disagree with that we tend to subconsciously ignore.

So it may be that all these awesome men you know aren't so nice, but you just don't notice - or that your barometer for sexist / oppressive behaviour isn't as finely tuned as women's, who have had to put up with it on a daily basis.

NewLife4Me · 08/01/2016 15:20

It's a bloody film, an advert at the cinema, to tell people basically what the film is about. Grin

You don't have to watch it, it isn't compulsory.

kali110 · 08/01/2016 15:21

I think it's really sad everyone jumping on lord and assuming they are a man and calling them a troll just because they refuse to agree with the majority.
I have no problem with the poster, nor film! I also don't think people are morons for going to see it!
I know two of my girl friends are seeing it next week so it doesn't simply appeal to men.
Loads of posters complaining but the majority haven't even seen it so are only making assumptions based on a few trailers!
I think they are making him look blatanly sexist as he's supposed to get a realisation.
I never seem to see many people complaining though when films like magic mike came out?
I know i'd rather see dirty grandpa than that.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 15:21

You don't have to watch it, it isn't compulsory.

laurierf · 08/01/2016 15:25

I think it's really sad everyone jumping on lord and assuming they are a man

and yet, those who've assumed Lord is a man from the content of his early posts were correct.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 15:26

I never seem to see many people complaining though when films like magic mike came out?

I refer you to my answer upthread. Men are not objectified in the same way or as frequently as women are, to the extent that it affects their feelings of safety in a public or private place, their careers, their choice of clothing, their relationships, and so on.

I'm sure women will go to see it (that is, after why, why they cast Zac Efron). I just suggest that those women maybe take a second to think about these sorts of attitudes in the media and how they impact society. Although I'm guessing those sort of women don't think about those things, which is fine, not every woman has to (although for the sake of us all I really wish they would).

NewLife4Me · 08/01/2016 15:32

goodnight

I just think the point is pathetic tbh and most people in rl don't go around objecting to posters as they have a life.

I completely got the point, but choose to bother about things I find important.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 08/01/2016 15:35

I completely got the point, but choose to bother about things I find important.

Wow, hoick those judgey pants! Grin Thankfully not everyone finds the same things important that you find "important". Personally, I'm quite concerned with sexism and society and the impact this will have on my daughter, not least the impact it has on women I know and love at the moment. But hey, I'm sure there's other important things to worry about so let's forget about an issue that affects 50% of the population in most countries all over the world. You're absolutely right.

Hmm
NewLife4Me · 08/01/2016 15:44

goodnight

I'm not being judgy, people can bother about what they like but thought I'd add a differing opinion to even out the comments.
I think education and leading by example are more important myself, but each to their own.
I believe education changes societal views and norms, not campaigning to change/ remove an advert, or other items that may offend.

Show your kids the posters and if you think they are wrong, explain why.

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 15:50

"PS as I sign off - Lord Brightside - I have a full and active sex life, have done all my adult life with several lovers/partners. Very happy with my sexuality, sex life and everything associated with it"

I'm not interested.

LordBrightside · 08/01/2016 15:51

"I love this argument. That by trying to combat cheap sexist stereotyping of women I am somehow being cheap sexist stereotyping against men. "

That's certainly a trap that YOU have fallen into. Other people though are quite capable of challenging sexism without demonising men.

sleeponeday · 08/01/2016 16:20

"Objectification" is a load of rubbish anyway, there's no such thing is reality.

Nobody looks at an attractive woman or man depicted sexually and fails to understand that they are a person. Nobody believes that people are objects.

Men are more likely to think of women as objects if they have looked at sexy pictures of females beforehand, psychologists said yesterday.

Researchers used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated.

Scans of some of the men found that a part of the brain associated with empathy for other people's emotions and wishes shut down after looking at the pictures.

Susan Fiske, a psychologist at Princeton University in New Jersey, said the changes in brain activity suggest sexy images can shift the way men perceive women, turning them from people to interact with, to objects to act upon.

If only, LordBrightside, they'd talked to you! Why waste all that time undertaking actual research, when you are so categorically certain of the facts! Please, do explain your grounds.

Meanwhile, here's something from Offering evidence-based, deeply disturbing evidence on how media representation affects young women, young men, and indeed all the rest of us.

Hatethis22 · 08/01/2016 16:22

Now you're bringing facts and science into it. Typical woman Grin

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