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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT photoshop someone out of a photo?

28 replies

SurrenderAt20 · 06/01/2016 22:31

I was just asked by an older close family member (let's call her A) if I would be able to photoshop her stepdaughter (B) out of a wedding photo because she wanted to get the photo printed at a photo shop but only wants her 5 children in it. Hmm

I'm not particularly close with my extended family at all and wasn't at the wedding myself, and I know there are other people A could have asked. On top of that A is always more than friendly towards B whenever I've seen them together, so I feel like I'm getting involved in something I don't want to get drawn into - A's child who's wedding it was is DEFINITELY going to notice that B is missing from the photo and will most likely kick up a fuss.

tl;dr - Even though I want nothing to do with my family, AIBU to say to my only close family member the somewhat upsetting news, that she will never stop talking about on the phone, that I don't have the skills to get rid of B from the photo?

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 06/01/2016 22:33

Send her the picture, she can do it herself.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/01/2016 22:33

Yes I would totally refuse, doesent sound very nice.

Original poster
SurrenderAt20 · 06/01/2016 22:36

Owlina - When A told me I almost just replied saying why don't you cut B out in the old-fashioned way with a pair of scissors, but I know then she'd be more worried about the photo not fitting in a conventional frame Grin

OP posts:
PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 06/01/2016 22:37

To me it would depend on why she only wanted her 5 children in the picture.

If it was so the photo could be sent to the father or paternal grandparents I would.

Original poster
SurrenderAt20 · 06/01/2016 22:39

@Piper I'd understand that too but she just wants to hang it on her wall with the other 20 billion photos she has up which is why I hesitated, but then that's understandable too which is why I felt like I was being silly over it. I just don't want the drama because I'll have to hear about it when everyone kicks off even tho I dont see them

OP posts:
Optimist1 · 06/01/2016 22:40

Presumably she didn't ask for a photo of only her children taken at the time because it would have been fucking rude? Delaying the request and asking a relative to do it on the quiet is x10 times ruder, IMO. A simple "Sorry, I can't do that for you" might put an end to the matter.

Mmmmcake123 · 06/01/2016 23:48

Advise her to pay someone else to do it as you don't really want to be involved. Sometimes being direct and upfront is the best policy

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/01/2016 00:08

Presumably she didn't ask for a photo of only her children taken at the time because it would have been fucking rude? Delaying the request and asking a relative to do it on the quiet is x10 times ruder, IMO.

Bingo.

GruntledOne · 07/01/2016 00:44

I would refuse to have anything to do with such a piece of deliberate and potentially very hurtful rudeness.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 07/01/2016 00:50

From a legal point if it's a professional photo the copyright lies with the photographer. I assume that Photoshopping or making copies would illegal.

In this situation I wouldn't touch the photo either

TheHouseOnTheLane · 07/01/2016 01:04

Just tell her your photoshop isn't working.

lordStrange · 07/01/2016 01:13

It's easy! Create a rectangular selection, place selection on e.g.. a tree, copy, move selection over offending step-Relly, paste copy, bingo! Unwanted person utterly removed from photo forever more. Do it and send her that.

Ridiculous.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 07/01/2016 01:57

She doesn't want to Lord. Not that she can't.

Italiangreyhound · 07/01/2016 02:09

YANBU. Don't do it, say what you like, I don't really know how to.... etc.

knobblyknee · 07/01/2016 02:15

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange is right, if it was taken by a pro photographer she has to ask them to do it. Its copyrighted.

If she wont buy that, I'd say my skills arent up to it and she should have had a second version taken on the day if thats what she wanted.

SladeGreen · 07/01/2016 03:09

How old is the stepdaughter? If she is an adult and they have fallen out, then I could probably understand.

If she is a child, then "A" sounds like an evil cow.

timelytess · 07/01/2016 03:31

At my wedding, my mother in law insisted on having a photograph taken of her son and her daughter together. So, having a professional photographer take their portrait at my parent's expense. When I wasn't up for that, my in-laws stormed off in a huff and refused to come to the wedding reception until I gave in. When they got their photo, I imagine they put it next their bed, next to the photo they had taken of their son and daughter together at his and my engagement party. The important thing being not that son was engaged to be married, but that son and daughter went to a party together.

Your relative should have asked for a particular photo to be done on the day if she wanted it so much. You do well to keep out of it.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/01/2016 03:36

I think lord was suggesting doing a Really Fucking Bad Job of photoshopping the photo, so that the horrible woman couldn't use it anyway.

OP, YANBU but tell her you can't do it, and that it's a copyrighted photo so that she needs to go back to the pro who took them (assuming that is the case - if it isn't, then just tell her you can't do it. OR do lord's suggestion Grin )

fidel1ne · 07/01/2016 05:04

I like Lord's random tree suggestion too.

Or giving all the 'children' the DSD's face Smile

Original poster
SurrenderAt20 · 07/01/2016 05:54

Thanks all, at least I know I'm not insane, I was worrying a bit that it would be being awkward for the sake of it. Both parties involved are over 45 and the DC who's wedding it is is about 30 which is why it wasn't an obvious case to me, you'd think they'd all have grown up and know how to act by now rather than doing this >12months after the event Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
SurrenderAt20 · 07/01/2016 05:55

@fidel Grin

OP posts:
SladeGreen · 07/01/2016 07:00

lord love your random tree suggestion. For extra finesse she could take one from ClipArt Grin

gobbin · 07/01/2016 07:05

Send her a link to the Photoshop download page and a list of 'How to...' instructions. If she is so keen to have the pic altered she can pay/learn how to do it herself...

SoupDragon · 07/01/2016 07:32

Agree to do it and photoshop her out of the photo instead.

What a cow!

TenTinyTadpoles · 07/01/2016 07:35

Do it and replace with a picture of a tree with a dog doing a wee at the bottom.