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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get schools issue with dyed hair?

1003 replies

fitforflighting · 06/01/2016 13:29

I suspect I may get flamed for this but I genuinely do not get it.
They have a rule against earrings including sleepers. That I get especially with younger children or in sports were children can end up getting them at worst ripped out.

I can kind of even get extreme haircuts with big shaved stars or strange styles that look unprofessional and might not be allowed by adults in a professional work place.

But this week and last term several of senior age children who had dyed hair brown/red/dark purple etc were sent home from school to re dye or put in isolation by teachers with errr brown/red/purple dyed hair! One of the children's teacher has bright purple hair. It does not make her any less of a English teacher or lesson her professionalism in school I don't reckon so what is the problem for teens?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 09/01/2016 06:21

Schools hand themselves to disruptive students on a plate [when they concoct rules on appearance] in an effort to make an impression on the public

Original poster
fitforflighting · 09/01/2016 07:02

I know this is not about hair colour but the thread seems to have spiralled from that but what are peoples thoughts on refusal to be allowed to go to the toilet?

I know some kids will mess but the teacher will know these, dc school has teachers that will flat out refuse permission, even one that will argue with those with medical toilet passes that they can wait.

I'm always a bit Hmm that they would rather a child sit distracted by needing the toilet and unable to concentrate on work but accept there are jobs where you cannot just go when you need to.

The reason I ask if one of dcs teachers spent half the lesson yesterday crowd controlling because a child needed the toilet and she wouldn't let them. The boy kicked off, disrupted the lesson for ages before other kids also joined in resulting in the teacher getting very cross and sending children out, the boy storming off to the toilet without permission and a pissed off teacher then snapping at everyone the rest of the lesson.

So while I know some kids will mess in the toilet time is that worse than them causing lesson disruption for half an hour.

I can also think of many reasons a girl might need the toilet without wanting to publically announce why at 12,13,14 ish.

OP posts:
echt · 09/01/2016 07:29

I'm in secondary, and the kids get plenty of time to go to the toilet. The same as the teacher. Who also doesn't get to leave the room.

Girls who really need to go are always capable of giving the nod discreetly.

FelicityFunknickle · 09/01/2016 07:37

math thank you for excellent, insightful and srticulate comments.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 07:45

I don't think anyone should have the right to stop someone using the toilet. And I tend to think those who do are on a power trip

FelicityFunknickle · 09/01/2016 07:54

Yes catsmeow

RiverTam · 09/01/2016 09:01

piece you appear to be mocking the girls in the article you linked to. Are you saying you think it's acceptable for the school to 1. unexpectedly and without notice change the way a rule is imposed 2. Humiliate and infantilise girls by patrolling corridors with wet wipes 3. stop girls wearing make up from having lunch 4. dismiss girls' reasoning for wearing make up and 5. potentially exclude girls for wearing make up. You think that's all perfectly reasonable?

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/01/2016 09:06

I'm Shock at the bra thing.

white shirts are see through anyway whatever you wear shows through.

how dare they even go there. as if there's a choice if bra for many who have awkward sizes.

it's a bra anyway and it's no one's frickin business.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:07

Commenting on pupils underwear is surely sexual harassment Confused

Original poster
fitforflighting · 09/01/2016 09:08

Ours has the bra rule.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 09/01/2016 09:14

I'm surprised mums of bits aren't equally insulted. to think that their sons are assumed some kind of sleeze that need protecting from the sight of a bra if they are to get on with their work

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:14

I would complain about that, it's horribly misogynistic

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/01/2016 09:15

mum's of boys

ffs phone

echt · 09/01/2016 09:54

I don't think anyone should have the right to stop someone using the toilet. And I tend to think those who do are on a power trip

Try being the teacher on a lesson straight after recess or a lunch hour who has the same pupils every. fucking. time. time wanting a piss.

That's the same piss you, the teacher, can't have.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 09:59

echt 5 minutes isn't going to make much difference. I went to a sixth form with an open door policy so we just quietly got up to the loo and came back in. No asking permission disturbing the lesson. Funnily enough no one took the piss because no attention was given to anyone going to the toilet

echt · 09/01/2016 10:03

echt 5 minutes isn't going to make much difference.

So you don't mind the teacher being five minutes late, nipping out for a five-minute pee, finishing the lesson five minutes' early?

FelicityFunknickle · 09/01/2016 10:05

Echt, you dont need to take a piss, you could have gone before class surely? Hmm
And if the same person is wanting to go every fucking time (annoying) then the rule really isn't working is it?

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 10:07

echt I wouldn't mind the teacher going for a wee while the students were working.

If you're applying the same rules to teachers and students I hope you also agree students shouldn't wear uniforms? I haven't read the whole thread so apologise if you've already said that

echt · 09/01/2016 10:10

Echt, you dont need to take a piss, you could have gone before class surely?
Exactly what I say to pupils, but not what you were saying about the allowance need ed for pupils, which is five minutes doesn't make much difference, so OK all round. By your argument, everyone could want that five minutes.

And if the same person is wanting to go every fucking time (annoying) then the rule really isn't working is it?

Actually, it does work because I don't let them. Everyone gets one hit.

Shortandsweet20 · 09/01/2016 10:13

I haven't read the whole of the thread but from my experience in schools it is about equality.

The school I worked in provided every pupil with one uniform for free - that included blazer shirt tie bag pe kit etc. Because It is such a deprived area the parents can't always afford to buy uniform.

By insisting everyone has the same bag, shoes, hair colour and make up/jewellery style it doesn't put pressure on the parents who can't afford it! I have had parents admit to me they have stole things so their child could fit in having the latest Nike shoes etc. So sometimes, it is about that not silly rules schools make up.

echt · 09/01/2016 10:16

echt I wouldn't mind the teacher going for a wee while the students were working.

Teachers aren't allowed to leave the class. ( I know they do, but..) If something happened in their absence, they would be held to account. I don't know if you have children, but think about how you would feel if a something happened to your child when teacher had left the room. For a piss.You know, the one they should have had during break...

If you're applying the same rules to teachers and students I hope you also agree students shouldn't wear uniforms? I haven't read the whole thread so apologise if you've already said that

I think uniforms are utter rubbish, but if pupils are in a uniformed school, they should wear them.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 10:20

echt are we talking about secondary age children? I'd assume they're old enough to be left for 5 minutes. Bullying is a concern, I know I and others got picked on when the teachers weren't in there so that's a reason. But kids are alone unsupervised in the corridors and at lunch time so it's not as if they're supervised anyway

But that reason is completely different to kids needing the loo, if the teacher has to stay there to watch the kids, the kids don't have that responsibility and so that rule shouldn't apply.

Fair enough about the uniforms

echt · 09/01/2016 10:22

By insisting everyone has the same bag, shoes, hair colour and make up/jewellery style it doesn't put pressure on the parents who can't afford it! I have had parents admit to me they have stole things so their child could fit in having the latest Nike shoes etc. So sometimes, it is about that not silly rules schools make up.

Thank you, Shortandsweet, you have put forward the only argument, and it is, for me the only valid argument for a uniform. In minute, PPs will queue up to say you can still tell the poor ones, and you know what, you probably can. The point is that the uniform smooths the edges that little bit. It could well be the bit that enables a poorer child to pitch up at school.

Good on you for posting this.

pieceofpurplesky · 09/01/2016 10:22

River
I am not mocking the girls in the article at all as I made new comment when posting it. I just posted it as it was on the topic being debated here.

Once again you have made a comment that is really not true - how can anyone be mocking if they don't say anything???? If you read on you would see that echt and I commented on how wrong it was - and as I have said the girls in my school are allowed subtle make up.

I can't even be bothered telling you why my school do not allow red lipstick again as I have done so over and over again - the rule is subtle - red is not subtle. Believe it or not teachers are not in to 'slut shaming' and are very good at discretely asking a pupil to remove make up etc.

Giles and math
I suggest both of you spend some time in a tough school and see what teachers deal with day in and day out. You appear to have very idealised views of how children behave because actually - they are children. To suggest that the teachers on here have no discipline skills because you don't think they do it the way you think it should be done is a tad silky. I wouldn't come and tell you what works best at your job. Sadly teachers are constantly told how to do there's by people whose experience is from being a pupil years ago or by being a parent.

As for the boy with the extreme haircut it was the best solution. I know the boy in question - you don't. I also know the pupils in the classes he would attend. You don't.

I don't feel the need to justify myself as a teacher though. I have been doing it for 20 years, love my job, get excellent results, have very few behaviour issues (unless an unpredictable event) and know I have helped lots of young adults in their difficult teenage years (not being arrogant - i have the letters and cards to prove it - as do many staff).

FelicityFunknickle · 09/01/2016 10:24

echt
"Try being the teacher on a lesson straight after recess or a lunch hour who has the same pupils. every. fucking. time. time wanting a piss.
That's the same piss you, the teacher, cant have"

You were complaining about not being able to take a piss in class.
If you need to urinate during class time, surely you can understand why a child would. If you don't why do you care that you can't?

And I dodn't make the comment about only five minutes btw.
Actually, I can dash to the loo, use it and be back in 58 seconds. (We used to time ourselves on night duty)

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