To not get schools issue with dyed hair?

[fitforflighting]

I suspect I may get flamed for this but I genuinely do not get it.
They have a rule against earrings including sleepers. That I get especially with younger children or in sports were children can end up getting them at worst ripped out.

I can kind of even get extreme haircuts with big shaved stars or strange styles that look unprofessional and might not be allowed by adults in a professional work place.

But this week and last term several of senior age children who had dyed hair brown/red/dark purple etc were sent home from school to re dye or put in isolation by teachers with errr brown/red/purple dyed hair! One of the children's teacher has bright purple hair. It does not make her any less of a English teacher or lesson her professionalism in school I don't reckon so what is the problem for teens?

O are you saying that detention is not fine for anything, but the more dramatic suspension is OK for breaking school rules around behaviour?

Lord and Mooney have either of you spent time in a comp recently?

I don't work in a comp, that doesn't change my opinion that the way schools operate isn't beneficial and actually contributes to the problems

"Ah, so you want the Dr to be reminded that you're a doctor too. Posturing. I understand."

No. As I explained to Mooney upthread, it is my name. I do use Mrs for school, because Dr is unusual in a primary, but Dr Tw2k is my 'normal' name in formal circumstances.

My friends and those I know well call me by my first name. My parents call me by a pet name. My children call me Mum, and their friends call me 'X's mum'. Those are my names for those relationships.

Ah, so you want the Dr to be reminded that you're a doctor too. Posturing. I understand.

Do you believe that anyone actually uses their "Dr" status is posturing?

(I am not a doctor of medicine, you understand. There is no 'equality' in my relationship with my doctor - she acts in her formal capacity as my GP, I act in my formal capcity as her patient. She is not my friend, so she uses my formal name.)

If I called someone James and his retort was "its Dr Smith actually" id think he was pretentious

If I called someone James and his retort was "its Dr Smith actually" id think he was pretentious

So would I.

Moony, I would never do that. When my hairdresser calls me by my first name, I wince but make no remark. If you met me in your professional capacity and introduced yourself without asking as 'Mooney' and addressed me as 'firstname' I would make no comment.

But when someone - as my doctor did - asks me how I prefer to be addressed, I tell them my preference. And i would introduce myself in a formal situation as 'Dr Tw2k' not 'firstname'. It is different from your preference, but it is not wrong.

teacher it's not wrong I just find it strange and to me it says you either want to assert your doctor status or for some reason want to other yourself.

I agree that it's rude to refuse to address people in the way they would prefer. But I also think there needs to be parity - if you'd like me to call you Mrs X, then I'd rather you called me Ms Y, not Sofiria. Likewise, if I can use your first name, you can use mine. I don't have any particular preference either way but I'm uncomfortable if it's unbalanced.

On-topic, YANBU at all, OP. I don't agree with school uniform at all and think a dress code is sufficient. I had to wear a hideous, ill-fitting uniform that didn't suit my body shape at the time I was most self-conscious about my appearance, and also went through 5 years of school with the one set of uniform as it was extremely expensive and our financial situation was precarious. (£80 blazer, £50 skirts, some years ago). Got it altered as I got bigger rather than buying more. State school. So I don't agree that uniform is the social leveller everyone claims it is.

The argument that the uniform is only for school and you can wear the clothes you like and express yourself outside of school hours doesn't apply to hair, though. Unless someone is shaving an offensive word or symbol into their hair, why should the school have anything to say about its colour or style? Needless, petty regulations. I don't believe kids should be taught to accept that sort of thing. We need less bureaucracy in adult life, and I hate the fact that education is more about conformity than learning, in many ways.

Mooney, it's just my name. What people call me. Luckily no-one IRL has any problem with it - and of course anyone I know well calls me firstname.

If it's just your name what's wrong with your first name?

Sofira,

I ABSOLUTELY agree with you about parity in an adult-adult situation - taking adult to be 16ish. It's one of the reasons always address my pupils' parents as 'Mr / Mrs / Mrs / Miss / Doctor / Professor X' - it would seem SO rude for them to call me Mrs and for me to call them firstname.

If it's just your name what's wrong with your first name?

Everyone has at least two names, a first and a last. Who's to say that one is better than another?

Best to use what one prefers.

As I said, it's like some else's child calling me 'Mum' - Mum IS one of my names, but just not the one for that situation.

"are you saying that detention is not fine for anything, but the more dramatic suspension is OK for breaking school rules around behaviour?"

That's right.

I know but I mean why is your first name not appropriate for those situations?

I don't partronise students Mooney, I was commenting that children don't always use adult levels of judgement and often as teenagers their decision making is impaired by the level of changes going on in the brain

I like being called, Mrs Long in school, I'm a professional I expect to be addressed as such. I would address any parent as Mrs or Mr X, and would expect the same accordingly. Its a matter of respect.

Lord, why? Detention within school keeps a child in a safe place, supervised, and can be for times appropriate to the offence - 20 minutes, half an hour, an hour - with appropriate educational work supplied so learning is not disrupted when the child returns to the classroom. Suspension does not keep the child safe, means that the class is disrupted by having to catch up work on return and short suspensions would be unworkable

What about detention during the school day e.g. lunchtime? Is it the 'in their own time' aspect?

I'd extend that courtesy to children too. It used to be commonplace for children to refer to all adults by title, but our society is considerably more informal now, and I don't see that as a bad thing.

The kids don't expect it in school, though. I volunteer as a leader in Girl Guiding, and even the youngest Rainbows are happy calling me by my first name. In schools, when I introduce myself as Sofiria, the kids usually end up calling me 'Miss' or 'Miss Sofiria' as it confuses them.

So if your child is rude to a teacher repeatedly in class, thus disruptiong the lesson - I choose the example because you have agreed that rudeness is wrong - and initial tellings off are not effective. The punishment is escalated through all the various levels but the behaviour does not change, for you the next level should be external exclusion / suspension, not - as it would in most behaviour policies -a period of supervised detention with a senior teacher?

(At primary age, obviously the most relevant for you, the equivalent would be 'keeping in for 5 minutes at break' or 'eating lunch in the head teacher's office' - not called detention, but exactly the same in practice)

Detention at least in the school day in Scotland seems to be entirely legal according to this, and even detention outside the school day may be acceptable if 'over intervals' if it is part of 'an overall policy to ensure that effective education takes place' - which would cover behaviour. Thus the law would support detention (rather than your preferred suspension) for behavioural issues, which would include persistent rudeness that disrupted class learning, which you have agreed would be wrong.

and would expect the same accordingly. Its a matter of respect.

So do you address the children by their surname?