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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to go to college in Sept with a baby and toddler?

18 replies

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 05/01/2016 23:31

First time posting in AIBU so go easy on me!

After some opinions as DP and I are divided on this. I've a DS (3) and due DS2 in May but being induced in April.
I would like to go to college Sept to do a year's course (3 days a week) before going to uni to do nursing which is my long term career goal. I undertand it will be hard work.
DP says he doesn't like the idea with a 5month old with strangers whilst I'm at college which I do understand.

I value all opinions.

OP posts:

notquitehuman · 05/01/2016 23:38

If you can afford to do it and can sort out the childcare, then go for it. I juggled a baby and my last year of uni, so yes it can be done. Some things to consider:

you'll be knackered! Can you cope with days at college after a sleepless night?
college holidays can be different to schools. You might want to check term dates or you could be stuck during the hols.
how much of the course will be independent study? Will you need to write essays and do homework on the other 2 days of the week? Some courses only have a few taught hours but lots of homework.

Good for you though. I really wish you lots of luck with it. Is it an access course? That's what I did, although it was humanities rather than nursing. It was really interesting.

Original poster

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 05/01/2016 23:43

I didn't think about term dates etc that's a good point!
DS still isn't a great sleeper so will see what this one is like.
It is an access course so I can imagine a lot of course work :/.

OP posts:

BillBrysonsBeard · 05/01/2016 23:59

I have a few friends who do this, one does open uni, works part time and has 2 kids under 4. I only have a toddler and don't work or study and I'm tired! You have to do what you can manage though, you could definitely make it work

knobblyknee · 06/01/2016 00:09

YANBU, our local college has a great creche and two nurseries nearby for this very reason. Good luck!

5madthings · 06/01/2016 00:11

Well it won't be a stranger it will be a childcare provider, nursery or childminder who you and your baby will get to know.

Or of course dp could spend some time looking after baby if he is so against formal childcare...

Op it will be hard work, I had my first whilst I was at university but it is totally doable.

Speak to the college they nay have support/help available ie a nursery on site.

It may be worth looking to see if you can get ahead with some reading etc now before baby arrives and also over the summer before your course starts, again you will need to speak to the course provider.

Good luck.

Mmmmcake123 · 06/01/2016 00:11

Your dp may find it easier to accept if you visit a few nurseries. Lots of play opportunities all day long that aren't always doable at home. No TV distractions ( not saying you would have TV on if sahm ). Structured yet flexible in terms of sleeping, good nurseries can be great for lil ones. Rooms are divided based on age so the lil ones are in quieter rooms and the dedicated staff know all their lil foibles and routines.
If you do view nurseries remind him to just look at the age related room. The toddler one will be chaotic, as it should be, but may get him worried.
Good luck xx

DixieNormas · 06/01/2016 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Want2bSupermum · 06/01/2016 00:30

So your Dp wants you stay home. I guess he is out working right? You are not married and this course gives you an opportunity to earn a good income in time and potentially with a family friendly schedule in the later years when I think its more important to be around.

Do the course. Your needs are more important than his wishes. It's an access course so they will be used to helping students in your position. Ask about any childcare provision and what they can do to help you if kids get sick etc.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 06/01/2016 01:20

I did Access when I was pregnant with DC3 (had him 2 days after we finished!) Started Uni when he was 2 months, DC1 & 2 were 5 and 3. I nearly buggered up my exams that year as I had so little time to revise and youngest was so poorly teething! Had another baby in second year, will finish in June - thank god! The amount of reading I have to get through has nearly killed me, It has been just about doable though. Make sure you concentrate on the work when you get the chance to do it and leave the housework alone... my house looks like we have been robbed, I think its a useful burglar deterrent! :D

I should say actually that my degree is in history, so more than standard reading but no placements/childcare to work out... I think that will be harder to sort op.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 06/01/2016 01:23

Also, our college had a nursery on site so the parents on my course that used it went and had lunch with their kids, seemed a nice set up! I think ours filled up very quickly though so you might want to move fast if you want to look at childcare on site.

Original poster

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 06/01/2016 08:44

Thank you for all your replies I really appreciate it and makes me more confident in my decision.
DS already goes to a great nursery now and think the baby would be looked after there but will look at the college nursery too. :)

OP posts:

bornwithaplasticspoon · 06/01/2016 08:52

Access courses are great and the tutors (dependent on college of course) are used to mature students who are juggling family and jobs alongside it and will help you as much as they can. It's hard work but well worth it. If you can spare a day a week outside of college you should manage to pass the assignments easily but if you're looking for merits/distinctions you may need more time. Best of luck!

Original poster

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 06/01/2016 13:22

thank you :)

OP posts:

Sunbeam1112 · 06/01/2016 13:29

I've done the nursing course and it is extremely hardwork mentally amd phyiscally placements doing long shifts coursework etc without kids. I would wait until DC are older before comitting as so many dropped out who had young children. In regards to access course it will wont be as challenging but when you start uni it will be. Shifts are 7-8 long days so you may struggle with the childcare side if your DP is working.

Sunbeam1112 · 06/01/2016 13:40

Points to consider - nursing is a full time course even during half term. In total about 6-7 weeks off a year. We work through the summer. We don't have extended periods of holidays like the rest of the students

We have to complete a set amount of working hours during placement whilst keeping a portfolio and submitting coursework

first year is approx 50/50 placement theory,second less theory and third year is majority placement based. With a 13week management placement working full time hours.

There has been talks of bursaries and fees costs from the government being removed. At present if your married to DP his wage is taken into consideration and is means tested.

Due to the demands of the course its difficult to take on extra work.

-Placements might not necessary be local so travelling might be required. Nightmare if you dont drive. I had to travel 45 mins to work on public transport to selby.

Lots of independant learning is required.

On a postive note it is a rewarding course but extremely hard going. Have you got a good suppoet network OP parents, DP parents?

LumpySpaceCow · 06/01/2016 14:04

I personally would leave it another year until the baby is older. A year in the grand scheme of things isn't long and would mean that your baby was older (I agree with your dh in that if I had the choice, I wouldn't want to put a baby in childcare at 5 months) and hopefully sleeping well which would make work/assignments more manageable.
Regarding the nurse training/degree, as long as your time management skills are good and you have childcare arrangements for shift work then you shouldn't have any issues.

imwithspud · 06/01/2016 14:16

I was in a similar position to you last year, dd2 was born in May and I've been wanting to start my course for a while. I've decided to put it off and will hopefully be enrolling to start this September. The course I want to do isn't an access course but I felt it would be too much what with juggling a toddler, a baby - who I couldn't leave for too long anyway due to breastfeeding, and a house etc. I'm hoping that as dd2 will be approaching 1.5 years by the time I start then things will be easier (although still hard) to manage and I'll hopefully be able to sit down in the evenings and get work done.

Personally I would wait till next year but if you feel confident that you can do it then there's no harm in going to an open day and talking to the people there.

tinyterrors · 06/01/2016 16:43

I'd go for it as long as you can afford the childcare.

It will be really hard but worth it. I started my degree with the OU when I had three dcs aged 1, almost 3 and almost 4, two months in I found out I was pregnant. I carried on and it's been bloody hard at times but I'm glad I carried on as I graduate soon.

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