To still be angry and embarrassed that this woman laughed at me?

[thelouise]

This morning, it was pouring down here and so the floor in my local shop was a bit slippery. I walk with crutches due to a disability and I am unsteady on my feet at the best of times. Unfortunately for me, I went arse over tit. Falling over is usually a humiliating experience because I can't get myself up. As I fell, I caught the eye of a woman who bloody laughed at me. Who does that?! In the interests of full disclose, she did walk towards me, presumably to check I was ok, but by that time, someone had come to my aid.

I am still feeling sore, both physically and emotionally. I phoned my mum (even though I am 37 ) who thinks I'm being silly to feel angry, especially when two lovely men helped me up, found me a chair, got me a drink and then walked me to my cry.

AIBU to still feel mortified and angry or, in the words of Elsa, do I need to let it go?

I laugh when im nervous, i laughed when my mother told me my brother was dead! i got a good hard slap across the face for that!

OP hope you feel a bit better hearing how common such a strange reaction is. I myself experienced this sudden nervous laughter on two occassions when I was told something totally unexpected and very sad. I was horrified both times and now am panicky about it happening again. I am comforted a little to read just how common it is. Hope you are ok.

You actually never laugh when it really is potentially the end of the world to you like you think your child had died.

Just saying.

Hiho this is not true. Fact.

You actually never laugh when it really is potentially the end of the world to you

Well you might not, but some people really do - it might be a momentary smirk rather than a huge belly laugh, but I have seen people have this reaction when they really do think the world is falling in on them.

But that's beside the point to the OP really… I would be astonished if the women who laughed actually thought witnessing a disabled person on crutches falling over was really funny.

wood things that I have laughed at, that I shouldn't have because according to you I could control it.

1. My toddler daughter having an asthma attack and being intubated
2. My toddler daughter having a febrile convulsion
3. My grandad (whilst in a hospice) choking
4. Seeing my stillborn twins' feet for the first time
5. Apparently at their cremation
6. My newborn son having a feeding tube forced up his nose because he had bronchiolitis.

Apparently. I should have been able to control myself in these situations right??

read the full thread and get a clue, please!

I would never have put myself down as a nervous giggler, but I couldn't control myself when I was in A&E being told the docs thought I'd had a heart attack.

Hope you're ok, OP.

*hiho ^^

Meant to put - 5. Apparently at their cremation because I was in such a state of absolute shock I cannot remember my actions.

for some of those things on your list Double

I had a right giggle in the hospital cafe when DD1 was 10 days old, rushed in hypothermic and floppy with bilirubin levels they had never seen. The dot was over light therapy, over blood exchange and somewhere in the writing above the chart.

They were thinking meningitis and working on her like mad to save her life. I took my dear friend (a MNetter so outing my latest NC) to the cafe and laughed that this was quite an introduction to DD1 and if she survived would DFriend be her godmother, the one who takes her if anything happens to DH and I. I had quite a giggle.

Hysterical crying and giggles are very close family, possibly siblings rather than cousins.

I've also broken the news that family have died to patients and I can assure you that laughter can often be a part of it - perhaps the denial bit, but it looks like laughter, it sounds like laughter. So they must have been evil people to have that in amongst the grief/shock.

The thing I am taking from this thread is that the people who laugh, or are open to the idea of this as a normal reaction to a situation are probably more open to the variety that humans come in. Those who are shut off to this possibility are probably close minded to other things too...

Let them explain their thinking process in a way that can make any kind of sense in a real world... some people laugh at the wrong time... how can this be?

The other way over - family told patients had died... though I have had to tell a patient about a death too. I was thinking of an example when I wrote my post.

sarcastic wow that sounds terrifying x hope she is all better now x

I agree with you that laughter is so similar to crying. "Better to laugh than cry" - as they say...

Double She's a strapping nearly 7yo. It was 'merely' jaundice (prem baby). We had to have a few checks to make sure there was no lasting brain damage because of the levels and duration of the jaundice, but she's apologies for the non MNish anti steal boast quite an average child at school. Not shining with brilliance, but not struggling either.

Lol oh so quite like my DD then...

Double.

I read some research a long time ago that said the involuntary 'laughers' tend to cope better in times of crisis.

Also in situations such as accidents or out of the ordinary events the people who yell, shriek, scream and generally flap are far more of a hindrance. In the situation the OP described would it have been any better if the woman had screamed? The woman did come towards the OP to offer help and I'm pretty sure if she'd got to her before the others she would have apologised for her initial reaction.

she was rude to do that, falling over infront of people is humiliating but there are worse things, these people wont remember you in a weeks time.

I'm so sorry OP. It's not as bad but I once walked right into a low arch in a posh shop and really hurt my head and the assistant laughed!

My DH has been known to laugh when people fall...he instantly sees it's not appropriate but he still does it. He's not an awful person it's almost a knee jerk thing. The worst was when a CHILD of about 5 fell on sports day and DH laughed!

Another time I was by a canal...admiring all the baby ducks and this big swan came along, grabbed one in it's beak and began drowning it :( a woman near me laughed!

I said "Awful!" in response to the duck murder and she seemed to snap out of her nervous reaction then.

My best friend in secondary school would laugh as a nervous reaction. We were in the school swimming pool and I was out of my depth and couldn't swim, so started drowning. She was the only one who helped me and saved my life, but all I saw, apart from my life was passing before my eyes, was her laughing as she reached out to save me.

When I was little my parents thought that if they laughed when I fell then I wouldn't cry. I was less than popular at school when my involuntary reaction to anyone getting hurt was laughter. Took me years to train myself out of it.

How strange, my parents did that to me too Kaos!

I'm a nervous laugher too. I laugh when I find out people have died I don't know why I'm like this.

emotionecho I love how you are comparing two crap attitudes and say that actually laughing isn't that bad. What about reacting as most other people around her reacted, ie be worried and concerned and go and help her?? Isn't that a better option?

reading the OP, I thought about my gran who broke her hip in similar circumstances and took a very long time to recover (she did walk again but tbh that was a miracle in itself). I thought about myself who hurt myself just falling and twisted my ankle so badly that it took me months to recover. On that day, I didn't get up for a long time. I just lied on the floor trying to breathe through the pain.
I thought about a good friend dd who has some SN and very poor balance.
Would people really laugh at any of us falling over and think it's acceptable?!? That actually it's ok to defend the idea it is even a good reaction to have

I'm sure no one here would agree that laughing at a disabled person is ok. Even if it's nervous laughter. Somehow people manage to control that laugh. Why not in any other cases?

Finally I'm at te way so many people are actually rationalising such behaviour. Saying things like 'well we didn't mean anything do that's ok. It was just nervous'. By doing that they are also telling the OP that she is wrong to feel as shamed and embArassed. That she shouldnt be feeling like this. What about feeling guilty that by your laughter you have made someone, who has already hurt themselves!, feel even worse? What about feeling ashamed that you've shamed someone fur something thar they gave no control over? It is amazing how in some circumstances it seems to ok to make people feel bad and ashamed.

Btw the examples that Double have talked about are completely different. These were not nervous laughter that the OP was talking about. These were out of the ordinary reactions to very upsetting situations.

This was NOT the situation of the OP.

Wood, people are generally saying it's not a good reaction to have, but an involuntary reaction. You do know what involuntary means? As I said, it's like a flinch reaction. It's not a deliberate way of laughing at or mocking disabled people

On that note, I am actually disabled and with poor balance myself. I have had hospital admissions where I have been crying with pain and yet still giggling. Am I laughing at and mocking myself? Trying to cause myself shame and embarrassment? You seem very excitable. Read the thread properly.

It's not just a reaction to people falling over, it's a nervous or stress reaction in circumstances that are sudden or stressful. If someone puts a hand near my face, I flinch. If something startles me (usually in a negative way) I laugh.