To still be angry and embarrassed that this woman laughed at me?

[thelouise]

This morning, it was pouring down here and so the floor in my local shop was a bit slippery. I walk with crutches due to a disability and I am unsteady on my feet at the best of times. Unfortunately for me, I went arse over tit. Falling over is usually a humiliating experience because I can't get myself up. As I fell, I caught the eye of a woman who bloody laughed at me. Who does that?! In the interests of full disclose, she did walk towards me, presumably to check I was ok, but by that time, someone had come to my aid.

I am still feeling sore, both physically and emotionally. I phoned my mum (even though I am 37 ) who thinks I'm being silly to feel angry, especially when two lovely men helped me up, found me a chair, got me a drink and then walked me to my cry.

AIBU to still feel mortified and angry or, in the words of Elsa, do I need to let it go?

Poor you, that's awful

I laugh when I am nervous, I cannot vouch for myself not laughing in such a situation (followed by quickly composing myself and rushing over to help)

It's not laughing in "haha this is funny", I don't find people falling over funny, and I hate any kind of "schadenfreude". but I laugh when surprised (for example if my kids throw a fake tarantula at me, I laugh loudly, as I have arachnaphobia and it makes me jump. Doesn't mean I find it funny, IYSWIM), or if someone drops a glass and it shatters my reaction would be to laugh.

It does sound like a knee-jerk reaction. I remember when I was 16 laughing at a little boy that fell off his bike (onto grass) and his father shouting at me.

On the flip side though - today I was driving on a dual carriageway and saw a guy on the pavement fall ass-over-tit off his skateboard. I slowed down as much as I could to see if he was ok or needed any help - it was a bloke in his 60's with all the protective gear on I can only imagine he's having a major mid-life crisis or he's trying to impress his grandchildren. Made me laugh all the way home but in an admiring/incredulous way.

Sorry for derailing OP, hope you feel better now. Most people are kind!

That's the imp of the perverse doitanyways. When you want to give into an inappropriate impulse. Do not look this up unless you want to be disturbed. Some people have very strange ones (cough)

This is an immediate reaction. Reaction... as in immediate. Not an impulse.

I'm a nervous laugher too. It used to get me in all sorts of hot water when my dad was shouting at me as it drove him insane but I can't control it.

I'm sorry you felt humiliated by her reaction, I think most of us would feel the same if we met with what looks like an unsympathetic reaction to trauma but the fact she made a move to help probably means she didn't actually find it funny.

lorelei My earlier post suggests that yes I have fallen and hurt myself. My husband nervously chucked at me and I failed to take offence. A few people looked horrified but some were amused. I laughed myself and I broke my nose and put my tooth through my lip.

No, doitanyways, I can't control nervous laughter. I just can't. It's easier to stifle a sneeze than a nervous laugh. I feel no urge to laugh, no impulse. It just bubbles up from nowhere, in awful situations when I'm anxious and something triggers it. It's not even a genuine laugh, I feel no joy or humour with it.

You poor thing I was got hit by a moped once - I was ok and able to get up and walk away with shock and bruises, but it was the scariest thing ever - and my very close and lovely friend couldn't stop laughing… it really is a shock/awkward/confused subconscious reaction to something that the person actually doesn't find funny at all.

I'm not saying this in a "eh? you think you've got problems?" kind of way, but I honestly have a couple of disabled friends who've said that they've had awkward, inappropriate and downright uncomfortable reactions from people, but never deliberately nasty. I obviously can't say for sure that the woman who laughed didn't find it funny, but she did make moves to come and help you whilst others got there in advance. On the other hand, I have two friends - one male, one female - who are clinically obese, and the deliberate and non-remorseful laughter, comments and physical assault that are meted out to them from strangers… it's really awful.

As I say, I mention that only to say, you are not alone to have been laughed at in a moment of need. None of this takes away from the shock and embarrassment you felt but I do hope you don't think the vast majority of people are looking at you and any discomfort you endure and are laughing… I certainly wouldn't be.

I'm a giggler, it's a terrible nervous reaction, I even do it if hurt myself. My family just ignore me now. I also can't control myself crying if I see someone else upset. 😳

Sorry you had a nasty fall OP.

I agree with PP that it was most likely a nervous laugh, not her finding it genuinely funny, especially as she made moves to come to help you.

I've laughed hysterically when I've fallen over myself, even though I was in a lot of pain and didn't find it at all funny. Think it was the shock. Was a nasty fall and still have uneven collarbones to prove it!

Absolutely -gnocchi I agree there should have been a reaction

doitanyway. You have months to prepare for the anniversary of 9/11, remembrance day etc. This is an instantaneous reaction to something...

Whoops posted too soon *there should have been an apology... Id have been on my hands and knees apologising

i think it's the slip on a banana peel type of humour Charlie Chaplin was so good at. It happened to me when i had an epileptic fit down a set of stairs inside a large public library. It was funny to see but i'm sure the immediate reaction disappeared almost at once. There may be the odd person who actually continues to be amused ,op, but most don't. Focus on the good guys.

I once laughed at my mum's funeral - nervous reaction then did the same when a friend was unconscious due to low blood sugar and wouldn't come round. While I was checking her vital signs/putting her in the recovery position on the phone to the ambulance. They must have thought I was a complete nutter giggling but it was a completely involuntary action.

I would have come over and checked you were okay though. Sorry it happened and really hope you're not in pain tomorrow.

I hope you are ok thelouise. Its a horrible shock to fall when you're an adult, I think. Have you injured yourself?

Involuntary laughter is, just that, involuntary. The same as a flinch or tears. Unfortunately it's worse as it can be so socially inappropriate. I laughed all the way through my wedding It was very stressful.

Nervous reaction?!? How is that an acceptable answer?

And it's hard to understand people who do if you do ??? Poor you. Hard isn't it to laugh at people who are hurting themselves, probably feel awful and ashamed about it. Yep that's all laughing matter. NOT.

On what sort of planet are you all living to think it can be anything than an unacceptable answer?

I laugh too. Sorry it is not deliberate.

I also laugh when I fall over myself, which is weirdly quite often!

WoodHeaven… have you not listened to anything people have said? Laughing at your best mate being run over… laughing at you mum's funeral… it' not that it's 'acceptable'… it's not about making someone feel ashamed (do you not think someone laughing in such circumstances also feels ashamed?). The point is it's not immediately controllable because it's a reaction to something that isn't funny at all.

Of course it's an acceptable answer Wood and if you had taken the time to read and comprehend what people have posted you would understand it.

Some people involuntarily yell, scream or shriek when they witness accidents, are you as equally dismissive of their reaction?

On what sort of planet do you live on that you cannot accept medical and scientific research as an acceptable answer?

I giggled whilst I performed first aid on my unconscious toddler.

It was the least funny thing I have ever seen.

""On what sort of planet are you all living to think it can be anything than an unacceptable answer?""

The planet that Humans have evolved on and have had the intelligence to understand that some behaviour has a biological basis, like stripping off when your freezing to death, or laughing when nervous or upset.

I also laugh but I can now usually control it though I'm sure it's obvious that I'm trying to control it.

I remember the first time it happened. I was sitting in a school assembly when I was around 14/15. I'd been whispering with friends when the principal came over and shouted at me. He was a former marine and when he shouted he really shouted and his face would go beet red. He started shouting and the shock of it made me start laughing, which made him shout more which made me laugh more, which turned his face beet red and by this point I was laughing so uncontrollably I was snorting.

He was not amused.

I laughed when a plane I was in suddenly plummeted Hundreds of feet. Other people were screaming and vomiting. I was sure I was going to die and was hanging onto the seat infront of me laughing my head off.

Oh and I also giggled when my dad died and I was trying to close his mouth. So much so I pissed my step mother off.