to want to scream "JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION?!"?

[Bogeyface]

Tonight "Would you like a yorkshire pudding with dinner?" "I dont mind, whatever". Well do you or dont you?!

Every single time I get this, and eventually I do get an answer one way or the other, so why not just say that in the first place?! And if I say "Look, I am asking.. do you or dont you?!" then there is a definite feeling of unreasonableness that I am pushing for an answer.

I am not asking in depth questions about the political situation in the Middle East, just whether he wasnt a fucking Yorkshire pud. Drives me up the fucking wall!

My gran took this to ninja level. She would say it to waiting staff in restaurants then look genuinely bewildered that they wanted the decision making to come from her.

My step mum is similar. She asks the waiters what she might like. Or says 'I can't decide' when asked for her order.

Bloody embarrassing.

"What do you want for dinner? "
"I don't mind"
"Ok then. "
Cook whatever you fancy. They cotton on after a while that if they want to eat food they like-instead of tolerate- they make a decision.

We have introduced literalism in our house to combat the fucking absurd non-answers. DD was catching it from DP and I was ready to kill them both.

"I don't know" may be used if, and ONLY if, you don't know. It is however NOT an excuse for not knowing something you bloody well should. And if you find yourself not knowing when you damn well should the answer is NEVER to look at me somewhat lost and confused - I will not be amused/think you are cute. The answer is to get off your backside and find out.

"I don't mind" is fine if you actually don't. However you lose the right to complain, sigh, roll eyes, etc.

It has worked wonders. And I now no longer want to kill them every dinner time :-)

My dh used to complain that in his first marriage everything from eating to socialising was done her way. I now realise and regularly point out to him it was his own fault and its because he answers every bollock arse question with the same I don't mind answer. I once gave all thirteen muscle bound stone of him vegetarian meals for a week and watched Frozen followed by MammaMia and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers on the trot and said well you said you didn't mind.

I do exactly what both littledrummer and lightning suggest. If they say they don't mind, I do what I want. Major bollocking if somebody said they didn't mind but had secretly been hoping I'm a mind reader and figured out what they really wanted.

A slight aside, but it's an ongoing battle I have with my boss. She won't let me put the following on my email signature

I have many talents, but alas mind reading is not one of them

My in-laws do this. It think they believe that they're "not being a bother".

Me: I'm just heating up soup. Do you want some?
BIL: I'm not bothered.
Me: Is that a yes or a no?

I don't care if you have the soup or not, I just need a yes or no.

Me losing it with MIL once while walking into town to go to a restaurant...

Me: Any ideas what kind of restaurant you want?
MIL: Oh Whatever.
Me: It's not "whatever" though, is it? We can't go to any of the nice restaurants, because we can't go anywhere where there has ever been a jar of spice in the kitchen. So no Indian, no Thai, no Mexican.
MIL: Oh, I don't want to be a bother (while totally being a bother).

I do this to DP.

But in my defence, I do at least 80% of the meal planning and a good chunk of the cooking, so when it's his turn to actually plan and cook (rather than just looking at the board to see what I've written is for dinner that night) I just want him to do the thinking and just serve something that he knows we'll all eat. Like I have to.

If he did all the planning I'd understand why he wanted an actual contribution to the thinking behind making and cooking the meal though.

YANBU. I loathe the strange guessing game that my DM seems to play whenever visiting.

Me: What would you like for dinner tonight?
DM: Oh, I really don't mind. Whatever you want, dear.
Me: Okay, we'll have pasta then.
DM: Oh! Pasta? Oh... well I suppose we could have pasta if you really want it.
Me: No it's okay. If you don't like pasta we can have something else. What would you like?
DM: I really don't mind dear.
Me: Okay then, chicken with veg.
DM: Chicken with veg??! (raises eyebrows). Oh! Goodness... well, I suppose we could have chicken with veg if you really think that would be nice.
After usuaslly a third iteration I just can't take it any more.
Me: FFS! You clearly have something in mind. Tell me what it is?!!!

She does this about other things as well, not just food. Infuriating. Why I haven't learnt to just ignore her by now, I don't know.

Oh I could have written some of these scripts myself!

The PILs seem to think that not making a decision makes them less demanding or something. So:

Me: Would you like tea or coffee?
PILs: Yes, please?
Me: Which would you like?
PILs: Either, whichever is least trouble.
Me: They are both as easy as each other, which would you prefer?
PILs: I don't mind.
Me: I am making tea for DD and coffee for DH so, really, which would you prefer?
PILs: Tea then.

Aagh!

Me 'is the tablet in the pill box?'
DH ' the pill box is in the cupboard'
Me 'is the pill in the pill box?'
DH 'it's on the second shelf'
Me ' but is the pill actually in the pill box?
DH looking aghast that he hasn't answered my question enough already 'yes I think so'

X 10000000

Anastaisia - I'm well impressed that you have a board on which you write the day's menu!! Is it a blackboard and do you use that wipeable liquid chalk stuff?

Just go straight for the jugular:
"This is an either/or question coming up. Do you want tea or coffee?"
"Do you want a takeaway tonight, yes or no?".

Any other roundabout or seemingly polite tactic is met by "Is that an ENGLISH question?? " from DH (not German).

I ask my partner if he wants a cuppa.
He'll reply "um, are you making one?"

No, I just wondered if you wanted one. You know, as I interrupted my work to come down and ask you especially. I could be packing those orders but no, I just felt like asking you a pointless question.

It's blackboard paint on the wall in the kitchen with space for each day of the week. We just use normal chalk, though the days are written in liquid so they don't wipe off so easily, and I'm not that good at planning meals yet - it generally just says if we'll need packed lunches for that day and the main meal. I can't quite face having the whole menu for breakfast, lunch and tea all planned out!

It's meant that planning has fallen much more to me, but I'm much more likely to come in to a cooked dinner when I work late instead of 'what shall we have for dinner? Shall I just look and see what's in?' when it's already going on for 8pm....

I once gave all thirteen muscle bound stone of him vegetarian meals for a week and watched Frozen followed by MammaMia and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers on the trot and said well you said you didn't mind.

While not wanting to derail a funny thread, I have read this a few times and still can't grasp why being 13 stone & muscular = dislike for veggie food & musicals. I just cannot see the connection...

This is why DH gets no meal choices any more.

Why do you feel the need to continue to ask what the idiot wants? Just serve the fucking Yorkshires on the plate and let him leave it or eat it. It's like giving kids endless choices - don't do it. Serve dinner, sit down and change the subject.