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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really really pissed off with the benefit system?

188 replies

Inshock73 · 05/01/2016 16:35

I just want to have a rant really....

I've worked since I was 15 (part time) and full time since I was 18, that's 24 years, I've paid hundreds of thousands in income tax and now find myself with a much wanted first baby at 42 and in a tricky financial position. I was on a contract in my last employment and that was terminated when I went on maternity leave (all legal and above board) and I've been on SMP. My SMP has now stopped so I've enquired as to whether I can get any financial help so I can be at home with her until she's one, which is another four months. Basically no I can't because my partner is considered to be earning enough, he earns the national average. I'm so angry! I know several people who are lying to the benefits agency, living with partners and claiming they're not! How is this benefits system fair? I don't believe you pay in to get out, I'm only looking for help for just a few months until I go back to full time work and start paying income tax again!

Rant over.

OP posts:
knobblyknee · 06/01/2016 08:56

Lone parents with a child under 5 dont have to look for work because of the cost of childcare.
After 5 their kids are in school and the cost is more reasonable.

They are discriminated against while seeking work. They cannot apply for jobs that are as and when required, they are only permitted to apply for jobs with fixed contracted hours and pay.

You wanted austerity measures, you got them.

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:57

Lol Fidel Grin. I have adult ADHD so I am prone to missing the point sometimes and babbling, just ignore me 😄

Lurkedforever1 · 06/01/2016 13:27

Apols for my 'uncalled for' 'snide' remark. I forgot that whilst it's ok for someone to make factually incorrect digs about lps, making factually correct digs about 'naice' mums isn't on.

As for whether I'm a lp, yes, but my defence is for the many lps I know or have spoke to that through no fault of their own are stuck in poverty on the so called luxury of 5 years off work. Or are physically and emotionally fucked trying to avoid it and still living below the breadline.

If anyone was offended by my comment I can only assume they are a 'naice' mum in a relationship, ignorant enough to think lps on income support are having an easier time than them. (Btw not saying for a minute that every mum with a partner fits in to my meaning of 'naice')

Nottodaythankyouorever · 06/01/2016 13:41

If anyone was offended by my comment I can only assume they are a 'naice' mum in a relationship, ignorant enough to think lps on income support are having an easier time than them.

Assume what you like. Doesn't make your assumption right or your remarks less rude.

I am a lone parent who thought your comment was uncalled for

Lurkedforever1 · 06/01/2016 13:51

Tbh I don't care whether anyone thinks I'm rude, nor do I care who does or doesn't agree with me. The point remains that if people want to make silly incorrect snide remarks about lps on is, they should expect it right back. Having a go about a vulnerable group of society under the impression they all have it easy compared to couples isn't something I was prepared to ignore.

Asskicker · 06/01/2016 13:54

Wtf? So you can't be in a relationship and understand that lone parents have a tough time?

Funny because I grew up in LP household and have been in a relationship 18 years. I have relatives who are LPs and help them out a lot.

I know, to some degree, how difficult LPs have it. And am in a long term relationship.

Not all people in relationships think LPs have it easy or make snidey comments about LPs

Asskicker · 06/01/2016 13:55

What denotes 'niace'?

A partner who is an actual partner?

fidel1ne · 06/01/2016 13:58

I thought that Lurked was pretty obviously having a dig at the 'lone parents have it easy' attitude upthread, not at partnered women generally.

Babyroobs · 06/01/2016 14:13

I think you can't lump all lone parents in the same category. I know a few who are on IS or work very part time, have fabulous family support and ex's who pay good amounts of maintainence on top of tax credits etc and have the kids every weekend etc. This group can in no way be compared to those lone parents who barely scrape by on IS with no maintainence and no family or friendship support. Totally different situations. I don't think lone parents ever have it easy but some are definately more alone than others.

ssd · 06/01/2016 15:26

agree babyroots, some lp I know have a great life, plenty babysitters, high level of maintenance, no mortgage, free school meals etc etc , then others are scrimping and just getting by, no support from their ex, no family help and really against it.

same as the SAHM's,sometimes here they are seen as living a cozy life with a high earning dh, going for gym sessions and coffee all day, when most SAHM's I know cant afford to work and pay childcare and run out of money every month and are climbing the walls for a break.

its always easy to sneer and god knows I've done it myself, but no one has it easy really.

TrueBlueYorkshire · 06/01/2016 16:21

You do realise those taxes you paid over the years were to pay for things such as infrastructure and services provided by the government (think schools, bridges, hospitals). Of the 500 billion pounds they collect in tax only something like:

2.4 Billion if for maternity leave,
5.5 Billion for the unemployed and
15 Billion for the disabled and
69 Billion for the retirement pension.

If you want time off to look after your children then you need to save money to achieve this. It is not a god given right and you are being unreasonable. Most people save for 5-10 years during their 20s and 30s and adjust their circumstances so they can live off one income while raising their children. I know people on average/low incomes who have re-mortgaged to release some equity so they could afford several years not working while having children. Why should you be any different?

howabout · 06/01/2016 16:24

YABVU. Consider yourself fortunate if you can afford to go back to work as a second earner with a partner on average earnings. Must mean you earn well and have affordable childcare, local workplace, family support and / or family friendly hours.

Lurkedforever1 · 06/01/2016 17:46

fidel thankyou, that was exactly what I meant.

DyslexicScientist · 06/01/2016 19:16

I get confused by mn benefits threads. If you dare to question changing working tax credits, housing benefit ect 90% say you are an awful human being and they are essential to mums. Yet the op here isnt getting loads of support

redhat · 06/01/2016 19:20

because this isn't about benefits. This is about the OP expecting the taxpayer to pick up the tab so that she can have extended mat leave.

Babyroobs · 06/01/2016 20:40

It is about benfits though because to take extended mat leave , op would need to claim benefits. If it is only for a few months I don't really see what the problem is. Some people give up work affter having a baby and claim tax credits for years. My friend has done this for 16 years and continues to do so even now both kids are in secondary school. Some people have child after child knowing they can't provide for them and then claim increasing amounts of tax credits etc. To me that is abusing the system, nor asking for a bit of help for a few months to stay home with what might be op's first and only baby !

expatinscotland · 06/01/2016 20:48

'Some people give up work affter having a baby and claim tax credits for years.'

And she's free to do that, too. Well, Universal Credit, as it will be known shortly.

'nor asking for a bit of help for a few months to stay home with what might be op's first and only baby !'

And the government offers this 'bit of help' for months in the form of SMP/MA.
She has had this 'bit of help'. It's for 6 months. Not a year. If you want more time you have to fund it yourself or yeah, jack in your job for that Life of Riley that is being on benefits. Hmm

DyslexicScientist · 06/01/2016 21:39

You can just claim uc for many years without attempting to get a job?

Babyroobs · 06/01/2016 21:45

I think once UC is rolled in you won't be allowed to have a sahp and be claiming UC, once youngest child is in school both parents will be expected to work, obviously less hours if children under 12 I think.

expatinscotland · 06/01/2016 21:49

'You can just claim uc for many years without attempting to get a job?'

The government has been very cagey about that.

DyslexicScientist · 06/01/2016 22:01

Then again isn't the current roll out of uc expected to take 100+ years at present rate.

I think you are looked after of you have childreb, to the detriment of other demographics.

seasidesally · 06/01/2016 22:01

'You can just claim uc for many years without attempting to get a job?'

eh im confused,how can you claim UC for years when its only been introduced for the last couple of years in very very small numbers across the country and mainly straight forward single people's claim

spaceyboo · 06/01/2016 22:09

I'm 5 6 and a 14/16 and the only ones that fit properly are Pretty Polly, and Primark (but Primark ones never last). M&S tend to be (crotch to my knees) big.

seasidesally · 06/01/2016 22:12

thats great spacey but what about the op's ?? Grin

doitanyways · 06/01/2016 22:12

Grin spacey