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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really really pissed off with the benefit system?

188 replies

Inshock73 · 05/01/2016 16:35

I just want to have a rant really....

I've worked since I was 15 (part time) and full time since I was 18, that's 24 years, I've paid hundreds of thousands in income tax and now find myself with a much wanted first baby at 42 and in a tricky financial position. I was on a contract in my last employment and that was terminated when I went on maternity leave (all legal and above board) and I've been on SMP. My SMP has now stopped so I've enquired as to whether I can get any financial help so I can be at home with her until she's one, which is another four months. Basically no I can't because my partner is considered to be earning enough, he earns the national average. I'm so angry! I know several people who are lying to the benefits agency, living with partners and claiming they're not! How is this benefits system fair? I don't believe you pay in to get out, I'm only looking for help for just a few months until I go back to full time work and start paying income tax again!

Rant over.

OP posts:
CockwombleJeff · 06/01/2016 06:21

OP benefits are there to support the most vulnerable in our society - not to let people stay at home longer on mat leave.

As for the people wrongly claiming benefits - that doesn't mean you SHOULD be.

Go down the correct route and report these people.

I could stay at home beyond 6 months with our DD - I just had to suck it up and go back to work.

Paying into the system doesn't mean you are entitled to take it out to suit your circumstances.

Shutthatdoor · 06/01/2016 06:22

You can also ask to go back diff hrs, flex time or part time, they have to fully consider it legally

You can ask. They have to consider. They don't have to agree if it doesn't fit into the business.

Many people think it is an automatic right and legally should be granted. That isn't the case.

Shutthatdoor · 06/01/2016 06:23

just like the naice mums in relationships

How snidy.

BeautifulLiar · 06/01/2016 06:40

Babyroob - you're right, but when universal credit kicks in that won't be the case anymore. SAHMs with working partners will be expected to look for work when their youngest turns 3, just like lone parents. There will be no tax credits until the children are 20+ anymore

Asskicker · 06/01/2016 06:49

Op isn't asking a lot just 12 months off after working 24 years and paying taxes.

Paying taxes doesn't entitle you to anything. It's not insurance. The OP can have a year. But it's clear that may benefits do not last year. She saved enough for how long she wanted then changed her mind. That's not for benefits system to sort for her. She has, apparantly, paid hundreds of thousands in tax. So she has earned hundreds of thousands, if not millions. Why would benefits support her?

All I am saying is if the government deems a lone parent can not work until the youngest is 5 why can't working parents have just 1.

Are you serious? Think about the reasons that would mean a lone parent couldn't work? You know like childcare?

Most single parents I know would prefer to work. They just can't until their child goes to school. Even then it's a struggle.

MsJamieFraser · 06/01/2016 07:35

yabu, benefits aren't a choice, if you cannot afford to stay off work, then you need to go back to work.

Understandable you want more time off, however yabu.

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 07:42

That's why I left the UK. My DP is disabled and couldn't work but because I worked more than 35 hours we couldn't claim anything as we didn't have children. I didn't earn enough to cover bills despite our rent only being 550 pounds. Our parents had to send us money. We couldn't eat and because we couldn't get any help. My DP's psychiatrist managed to organize us food bank vouchers - 1 a month. I worked very hard as a manager and we cleaned houses in our days off! It was the worst experience ever. Every day we struggled. I didn't even have petrol some days. Since we moved I've managed to save equivalent of 3000 pounds, I work half the amount of hours in my dream job, so excellent work life balance and my DP has got the correct medication in order to progress and he's studying now. I found that it's near impossible to get anywhere in the UK no matter how hard I worked or tried.

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 07:45

And I only moved 4 months ago!

fidel1ne · 06/01/2016 07:45

And you're going to sell us the details tell us how to do the same are you Leigh? Hmm

ssd · 06/01/2016 07:55

Leigh, what nonsense.

Shutthatdoor · 06/01/2016 08:05

Since we moved I've managed to save equivalent of 3000 pounds, I work half the amount of hours in my dream job, so excellent work life balance and my DP has got the correct medication in order to progress and he's studying now

Hmmm

redhat · 06/01/2016 08:07

Perhaps from your living room earning £10,000 a week?

I got that email too

GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit · 06/01/2016 08:17

Housing and council tax are the hardest to get. You have to have nothing virtually to get them.

If your partner earns below 35kish you should get some form of tax credits.

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:38

Sorry why is that nonsense SSD?

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:39

Read back on my previous threads and you will see what I went through

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:40

No I'm not selling anything. I'm working for a Periodontist!! Read before you judge please

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:42

I have saved that actually. I got some money back from the gas company and I was luck to have found. Job within my first month of being here on a very good salary. The best I've ever had and I have minimal bills.

FannyTheChampionOfTheWorld · 06/01/2016 08:43

That's not true gin. The child tax credits threshold when you have one child is about 23k. You can still get childcare tax credits above that with just one, if you both do 16 hours plus a week and pay for childcare, but that's not applicable here. People getting child tax credits on a household income of 35k have more children than OP.

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:44

I earn 30 000 rand a month and have saved twenty a month equating to 60 000 rand and in pounds it works out to about 3000!!

fidel1ne · 06/01/2016 08:47

And that's your solution for the poor people of the UK? Go to South Africa? Visa requirements must be pretty chilled Hmm

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:49

I worked for ten years in the UK. I moved down with my ex and three years ago I had a big breakdown. I lost my job house and partner. I met my DP 2.5 years ago. I knew him back in SA. He came and stayed with me and we got together. Unfortunately though he has a mental illness which I fought to get a diagnosis for him. I spent months doing it. They sent a crisis team and a psychiatrist to our home for a few days so they can diagnose him. He was given a good medication but we were so tired of the constant struggle that we made the decision of coming back home. I had to sell my car and organize permits for my cats. It was a very stressful situation but now I've done it and can't believe the change in my life. I actually have two friends from the UK visiting me today. They came to watch the cricket. I'm so excited to see them and they can see how well we are doing now.

redhat · 06/01/2016 08:50

But Leigh what on earth does that have to do with the OP who wants to be paid for a year by the state to be on maternity leave just because she fancies it?

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:51

No it's not a solution I was just saying how it was so difficult for us benefit wise (relevant to thread) that we were forced to come home. I am South African. I moved to UK in 2005 to travel and get life experience. My dad was born in Brighton so I have a British passport. I have dual nationality as does my DP. His dad was born in Manchester.

Leigh1980 · 06/01/2016 08:52

I don't know I was just talking about my experience with trying to get a disability benefit and the council saying no because I worked 35 hours which I read in the OP that she had that problem too so I related to it.

fidel1ne · 06/01/2016 08:54

Crikey Leigh your posting style really does sound like breathless spam. Maybe it's the time difference or my lack of sleep.

Or the claim that some kind of dental work is a 'dream job' (Sorry - bit phobic). I'm glad you're not exhorting us all to become strippers in Spain and billing us for the suggestion, anyway Grin