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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really really pissed off with the benefit system?

188 replies

Inshock73 · 05/01/2016 16:35

I just want to have a rant really....

I've worked since I was 15 (part time) and full time since I was 18, that's 24 years, I've paid hundreds of thousands in income tax and now find myself with a much wanted first baby at 42 and in a tricky financial position. I was on a contract in my last employment and that was terminated when I went on maternity leave (all legal and above board) and I've been on SMP. My SMP has now stopped so I've enquired as to whether I can get any financial help so I can be at home with her until she's one, which is another four months. Basically no I can't because my partner is considered to be earning enough, he earns the national average. I'm so angry! I know several people who are lying to the benefits agency, living with partners and claiming they're not! How is this benefits system fair? I don't believe you pay in to get out, I'm only looking for help for just a few months until I go back to full time work and start paying income tax again!

Rant over.

OP posts:
SilverDragonfly1 · 05/01/2016 16:52

Sorry, x-post re national salary!

Osolea · 05/01/2016 16:54

Loads of people have to go back to work way earlier than a year after having a baby. It's normal, and completely fine.

I won't disagree that our benefits system has it's issues, but to be that angry that it won't find you the luxury of having a year off work just because you want it is ludicrous.

seasidesally · 05/01/2016 16:55

i get where your coming from op

the benefits system can seem unfare and complicated

look into TC but realistically with the way the system is going i would atleast work a few hrs part time so you get to spend plenty of time with babe but also earning an income and not relying on benefits as the way things are going they possibly will be stopped especially as you only have the one and a fulltime working partner

it will also benefit your working future,keeping your hand in so to speak

Sirzy · 05/01/2016 16:56

I'm not sure you have reason to be angry really, you haven't looked into the benefits you may be entitled to yet your complaining because even though your partner works you can't claim housing benefit?

BeautifulLiar · 05/01/2016 16:57

You might be ok?

DH earns £23,000 and we manage with three children. We don't get housing benefit or anything.

redannie118 · 05/01/2016 16:58

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

NewLife4Me · 05/01/2016 16:59

Please will people give over with looking after your own children as being a luxury.
How is it luxurious for a full wage to be spent on childcare like some people do.
Being a parent and not working is not a luxury. Arghhhh, this is what puts people off wanting to be a sahp, comments like this.

OP, I know exactly where you are coming from and I felt exactly the same.
I don't suggest you do this at all but it was such a big deal for us that we moved heaven and earth to be able to have a sahp, it was tough and not much money left every month. We lived semi self sufficiently (The Good Life) until we made enough money to move and have a smaller mortgage.

Benefits aren't good, but I do agree with you that a year should be subsidised, although it used to be 6 months with our older ones, not just paid but return to work or lose your job. This was why we decided to have a sahp.

shouldhepay · 05/01/2016 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontrunwithscissors · 05/01/2016 17:03

The OP says her partner earns the national average salary, not the minimum wage. I don't know what that is, but must be a fair bit higher than min wage.

Sorry, OP, I think you should suck it up.

sleepyhead · 05/01/2016 17:07

People who qualify for benefits earn a lot less than a lot of people realise (as you've discovered).

You might qualify for some help with childcare costs when you go back to work, but tbh it's unlikely if your dh earns the average and you only have one child.

It's is fair though. I'm not sure why you would think it isn't? At the moment you're a SAHM being supported by your dh, like many thousands of other SAHMs. Your intention to return to work, or not, in a few months is neither here nor there as far as the benefits system is concerned.

Babyroobs · 05/01/2016 17:07

The threshold for tax credits with one child is £26k so if your partner earns less than that you may get some help although if it's only for a few months before you go back to work then maybe not. You should get child benefit of £20 ish a week.

redhat · 05/01/2016 17:12

This is not a problem with the benefits system. I don't know a single person from my friends who could afford to have a full year off. Why should the state pay for you to do so?

Ragwort · 05/01/2016 17:13

Seriously - you've paid 'hundreds of thousands' in tax? Hmm - if you had genuinely paid that much then you must have been an incredibly high earner and surely accrued some capital/savings/investments? Unless you blew it all.

For various reasons (travel mainly) I hadn't been earning for the previous year or so when I became pregnant and I was also entitled to nothing as it is something to do with having to have worked X months before having a baby (this was 15 years ago, may have changed now); fortunately DH was a reasonable earner - so we managed ourselves, I know which position I'd rather be in.

manicinsomniac · 05/01/2016 17:14

There's a lot wrong with our benefits system that leaves hugely vulnerable people struggling well below the poverty line.

But not paying people to stay at home with 6-11 month old babies isn't one of them! Just go to work.

expatinscotland · 05/01/2016 17:14

It's hardly the fault of the benefits system that you don't get a full year off work for maternity.

We couldn't afford for me to take a year off so I had to go back.

Never thought to blame the benefits system Hmm.

Original poster
Inshock73 · 05/01/2016 17:15

That's exactly how I feel NewLife. I've looked in to nurseries and it will cost approximately £1,000 per month to put her in full time. DP leaves home at 5.30am and gets home about 7pm on a good day so evening work not really an option. Hey does anyone do those phone sex lines maybe that's an option?! :)

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 05/01/2016 17:15

I agree Redhat. I had to go back when my ds2 was 4 months old ( and he was born 6 weeks prem) as I lived in a country with no maternity pay/ tax credits or anything. I used to go and breastfeed him in the hospital Nursery in my lunch break it was horrible but we really had no choice.

Original poster
Inshock73 · 05/01/2016 17:15

Before you all cane me for the phone sex lines I'm joking! Although I watched a prog on it and some earn good money! :)

OP posts:
VinoTime · 05/01/2016 17:16

OP, I mean this kindly so please don't take it as a criticism. But did you not put some money aside whilst you were working for the end of your maternity leave, when you would no longer receive SMP?

The national average wage for the UK is £26,500. Why would anyone earning that sum be entitled to benefits? Benefit payments are there to help those in society who really need it - the elderly, the disabled, the unemployed and those earning very low incomes, etc. There will always be a small minority of people who play the system, but at it's core, the benefit system is there to help those who can't or don't earn enough to get by. It's not there to help working parents who earn the NAW stay at home for an extra few months when the SMP runs out. If you can't afford to stay home for the extra few months, then unfortunately most parents have to go back to work. Rightly or wrongly, it's just the way it is.

Now I realise that earning the national average may not stretch very far in some parts of the UK, especially when a partner is on maternity leave, but surely that is something you considered and planned around when you decided to have a child? I know it's tough. People always tell you how expensive kids are but you don't actually realise until you have them. The baby and toddler years in particular can be incredibly hard with needing time off work and paying for childcare. It's the bane in every average working parents life.

Are there any ways you could scale back to free up some money? Are you being thrifty and watching the pennies? I'd highly recommend having a once over at the Credit Crunch/Money Matters boards for ideas on saving. Do you have any stuff to sell - a garage full of crap/baby clothes/maternity clothing/old pram/unwanted Christmas gifts, etc you could eBay, Gumtree or stick on local FB selling pages? You'd be amazed how much you can make off of unwanted junk!

expatinscotland · 05/01/2016 17:16

And plenty of us paid thousands in tax. It's not an insurance system, it pays for things like infrastructure and defense and law enforcement that allows us to largely go about our business unmolested.

I'm always amazed when people think of their taxes as a personal bank account there to provide them with luxuries.

Whatdoidohelp · 05/01/2016 17:20

How much on average have you as your partner been earning annually? It must be a pretty high figure to have paid hundreds of thousands in income tax in your working life.

Unfortunately staying at home is a choice. A choice I too am making.

shouldhepay · 05/01/2016 17:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TracyBarlow · 05/01/2016 17:23

You can't really expect to get benefits when you have a job, but just don't want to go in for the next three months. I'm also in the unpaid bit of maternity leave. We're skint but I wouldn't expect the taxpayer to fund this because it's my choice.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 05/01/2016 17:23

What flexibility does DH have to do compressed hours and have a day at home with dd while you work that day? You've not mentioned family willing to do childcare so I'm assuming you don't have that luxury. Can you work evenings or weekends?

Or alternatively look at how to manage being a sahp (not relying on benefits Hmm) while she's so small.

Sadly this is life for very many people, you sound quite naive not to have considered it before now

HorseyHat · 05/01/2016 17:24

I had around 11 months off and saved up for 2 years prior to be able to afford it. Didn't claim anything other than child benefit.

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