Do you think it's a bit out of order for a sil to tell everyone she's pg on your wedding day [DOWNTOWN ABBEY SPOILER WARNING added by MNHQ]

[LardLizard]

This happened at my wedding but I didn't think anything of it really


Just thought sil was telling everyone that she was pregnant because it was an oppertunity to see everyone

She didn't stand up and make a speech or anything she just told everyone individually

Anyway afterwards my mum said she thought it was out of order of her and I've just watched the Xmas downtown where mary doesn't announce her pregnancy news as she doesn't want to steal Edith thunder

Anyway what do you think ?

[jazzingaround]

It depends how it's done. Mentioning it quietly to a few people is fine. Making a big 'announcement', being congratulated in the speeches etc could look like trying to be the centre of attention.

[HPsauciness]

jazzing I agree with you, actually I do think that it's a day about the bride and groom and other people's engagements/pregnancies shouldn't be announced like a big thing on that day.

I was pregnant on my friend's wedding day, I was desperate to tell everyone, but waited til the next day and told a few close friends. Someone being pregnant is 'big news' and having everyone congratulate them and start hugging etc is a bit odd on someone else's big day.

[WorraLiberty]

She didn't stand up and make a speech or anything she just told everyone individually

From the OP ^^

[WorraLiberty]

And as for people hugging her, how would the bride even notice who was hugging who, unless it was announced at the actual ceremony (which it wasn't)?

[buymeabook]

Isn't a big part of weddings about catching up with people you don't see that often, sharing news etc? You don't just stand around chatting only about the B&G. I think it would be nice to be able to share something like that with people in person rather than going away and giving them a phonecall. My sister brought her 4 day old DS to my wedding, so of course there was lots of cooing over the baby etc. In no way did I think that it was stealing the attention from me. It was lovely for them to be there.

[LemonBreeland]

It wouldn't bother me, but I did announce my own third pregnancy slightly earlier than I wanted to as I didn't want to have to do it at my DB's wedding.

[leb33]

It depends whether you have a good relationship with her or not. If she purposely waited until the wedding it would be a bit off, but as previous posters have said by not drinking she would have caused more of a fuss. If it didn't bother you I wouldn't worry about it.

[HPsauciness]

If the OP didn't mind, then there's no issue, is there?

I still wouldn't announce my own pregnancy at someone else's wedding, and I've never been to a wedding where someone else did this. I would either tell a few people beforehand so it becomes common knowledge, or wait til afterwards. Waiting til someone else's big day to make a big announcement (which pregnancy is) of your own is a little off, IMO.

[Goingtobeawesome]

I think your mum is a stirrer. Don't suddenly get annoyed because your mum thinks you should.

In his speech, my DH said congratulations to the two couples there who were newly engaged. One couple married and split. One still married.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Thus proving that your Mum is a bridezilla and not you

What a lovely day for your family ! Not to think that is just weird

[G1veMeStrength]

It wouldn't bother me if it were my wedding. Though I remember when PFB had his first birthday, I was pregnant with #2 but kept it quiet as I wanted it to be 'his day'. Haha what a twat I was.

[JellyBabiesSaveLives]

MIL announced my pregnancy at her sister's wedding reception. We'd only told grandparents-to-be, no one else, wasn't planning to mention it. MIL and I arrive at the reception together, see the bride, I open my mouth to tell her how lovely she looks, and MIL sweeps in with "Jelly is having a baby!". I wanted the floor to open up. Then everyone spent the entire meal discussing babies, grandchildren, me... With me feebly saying "the flowers were nice weren't they" occasionally.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me at all.

In fact it would be a lovely bit of news to make a special day even more special.

[jorahmormont]

I think it would bug me if someone got up and announced it during the speeches - but I don't know if we'll be able to have DC2 due to a medical condition so it's a touchy subject wherever it happens, but I think for this reason it's wise to avoid making announcements like that at weddings - it could really take the shine off someone's day and upset them on their wedding day.

That said, the situation the OP describes, I wouldn't have a problem with it at all.

[SchnooSchnoo]

It's not something that would bother me.

[MammaTJ]

It wouldn't have bothered me! I think your SIL knows you well and knew it wouldn't bother you either. Perhaps she wouldn't have done it otherwise.

[gillyweed]

Eeeek I think I might be your sil!

We went to my sil wedding a few months back, we told a few immediate family members the day before and a few people on the day but we disn't 'announce' it - i was only 2 months and my mil pulled a face (as if to say 'serves you right if you lose it, this is bad luck') thing is, I was really sick, exhausted and I normally down buckets of fizz at weddings, it was just so obvious! Also our 3rd and quite frankly nobody was interested.

I think it depends how you tell people and how many you tell. But honestly it never crossed my mind that I was stealing anyone's thunder, that is a petty mindset and weddings are about family and friends aren't they?!

[Hygge]

It wouldn't have bothered me. It would have been an extra special thing to happen on the day.

If she was only telling people quietly, rather than standing up and making a speech, she didn't exactly announce it either. She just had a quiet word with people.

How is she your SIL? Is she married to your brother or is she your DH's sister or married to his brother?

Lady Mary was being careful at Edith's wedding because they haven't exactly had a good relationship, and since Mary has a history of ruining things for Edith and deliberately ruined Edith's relationship and had to go to some lengths to try to fix it, she was quite rightly being cautious.

Unless your SIL has already announced to your fiancé that you have a secret love child, when all he really wanted was a nice breakfast, I think your Mum is being a bit daft.

[glitterbomb80]

I had my pregnancy announced for me at a dear friend's wedding. I wasn't planning to tell anyone as I didn't want to be a thunder stealer, plus the pregnancy was in very early stages, far too early to tell people. However, another guest noticed I wasn't drinking and took it upon herself to interrogate my husband as to why - he was pretty drunk and can't keep a secret to save himself. She then took it upon herself to "share the news" with a load of other guests. I was mortified.

[reni2]

I wouldn't have minded, but I don't really believe this "best day of your life" business either.

[GoblinLittleOwl]

I didn't tell people when I was a pregnant bridesmaid at my sister in law's wedding because a) it was her day and b) I didn't want everyone's eyes trained on my stomach.
It didn't bother you or spoil your day, so ignore your mother's comments.

[PoppyFleur]

Isn't catching up with family and friends part of the enjoyment of weddings? Yes it is the B&G special day but sharing in someone else's lovely news doesn't detract from the B&G. In fact, OP you were not even aware until your DM mentioned it. No-one treated you less special did they?

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I hope you don't let it ruin your lovely memories of your wedding day.

[notquitehuman]

I'd probably mention it to the bride first and see whether she minded me sharing the news. If she's excited and happy about it, then yeah I'd share it around, without hijacking the speeches or anything too OTT. However, if she was a bit funny about it then I'd respect her wishes and wait another day. I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of a bridezilla!

I went to a wedding where the bride's colleagues all turned up for the evening do, and one of the women from the office stood up, tapped a glass and announced her pregnancy. Luckily, half the guests were too drunk or were off dancing, but obviously her intention was to tell a room full of bride and groom's extended family her good news.

[Cattington]

My dd was in the early stages of pregnancy when my nephew got married. She told the relevant people beforehand because didn't want to say anything at the wedding to take any of the family's attention away from the bride and groom on their big day.