to want 21-yr-old to get out of bed before midday?

[Garon]

3rd week of xmas holidays, midday would be early. He's in 3rd year at uni, going back in a week. It drives me nuts but I suppose it's up to him...? Except for the fact that we are paying for his lifestyle by topping up his student loan up to what he'd get if he qualified for the max maintenance loan. He hasn't had any holiday or term time job since going to uni...

btw Is there a topic area for post-teenagers? couldn't find one

he has worked SevenOf Nine - full time for a year before going to uni.

Apologies. I've worked in Grad recruitment and never having worked was an issue in most companies application processes but I can see he won't get stopped at that hurdle.

Thanks for the optimism 7o9! I'm sure it's not going to help not having worked over the past 3 years, i have pointed this out. You never know maybe he'll get a first - tho what employers think of that from a not-top uni i don't know... Bottom line here seems to be we should've given him a smaller allowance - usually turns out to be the parents' fault

I agree that recent non-working will make a difference but at least he is not completely work free

Seriously though if he wants to work in one particular industry, I strongly suggest that he gets some work experience in that industry. It is hard at interview stage to say you are passionate about engineering (for example) when you have zero experience of that environment.

A First is great but employers are also looking for employees who understand the world of work and have excellent non-academic activity experience. To be blunt, a degree alone will not open the door to a good job by itself, it is coupled with a lot of other things to make a candidate successful for a really good graduate scheme.

As for the allowance, he will soon find that blaming others in the workplace does not go over well

I think a summer holiday job is important for students, regardless of financial need. Working for three weeks over the Christmas break is probably not so essential. He is probably in need of a rest and there are not many jobs you can just pick up for 3 weeks.

I will say a lot of young people I know go back to the same supermarket or retailer in the summer and over holidays to earn extra cash. They are trained so welcomed with open arms.

I'm 21 and in all honesty if I didn't have DD diving on me at 6am I'd still be in bed at midday I graduated last year and honestly I don't know many students who rise before 11, especially in the holidays.

I feel your pain op. Fs these are adults not teenagers!
My ds is gone from uni and driving me mad. I don't mind the lie ins so much its just the sheer bone idleness. He is 20 - a grown man yet acts like Kevin the teenager.
If he cleared up after himself (without me stood obey him and showed some respect around the house (ie not losing keys, flooding bathroom by having bath too full, leaving dirty washing, pots etc everywhere) I would be a whole lot happier. He evenexpected us to supply the booze for a party he was going to.

Wow some of these responses! A student should be able to lie in bed all holiday gone 12.... Well when I was a student I had a job as a waitress and I was volunteering in a school to build up my CV for when I graduated. I also moved home for a month and commuted to uni so I could take my dad to his chemo apps at 6am every morning. Get up get up get up. It's okay to lie in once in a while. But constantly and failing to have a job at aged 21.... No. Just no

I was a full time mature student, lone parent and I worked 25 hours a week. Shut the bank of mum and dad, he needs a job.

I'm 30 and have 2 kids and I slept until 1 on Saturday, usually sleep till about 11 on Saturdays. It's lovely :)

I like a nice long lie in during the school hols, as do my teens. MIL is staying for a month and is up and dressed by 8am every day- but she hasn't said a word about our lazy ways. Canny lady!

There are a lot of posts stating
I hate the assumption that if you lie in bed all morning you're lazy. Why can't people just accept that there are night owls and early birds and neither one is better than the other?

Ignore the first line... Not sure what happened there!

DD1 is back from Uni but staying on her Uni schedule so going to bed late and getting up late, not really an issue here as the rest of the family have been off for the 2 weeks and on a similar schedule. It's back to work now so I am up, she will be awake by 9 and will combine studying with playing on her Xbox until we are back home tonight. I don't expect she will get up and dressed unless she has a reason to. This is her break after a hard and long term. Easter will be similar, the summer is different and she will work either in a placement (unlikely this year) or a minimum wage job.

I agree with an earlier poster who talked about having to work until 70, I know many people left home at 16 and have supported themselves since getting up at 6am and working 2 jobs but she doesn't need to and as a family we are really trying to balance work and life.

I really don't understand the mn obsession with making kids grow up faster than they need to. If your child has to work through uni, fine and good. But I really don't believe that supporting them financially, as OP is doing (if you can afford to) is necessarily going to do them any harm. At least, it didn't do me any harm. I didn't start my first paid job until I was 23. Before that I was in education (sponsored for the last two years) and used my holidays for sleeping late, hobbies and unpaid work experience. At 23 I started on £38k and by 30 I was working my ass off for 6 figures and taking my parents on holiday. No harm done.

Not getting up is his problem.

I am surprised if you are topping up him only to the "full maintenance" amount that he can make ends meet without a job.

I dont understand what you topping up his money and sleeping late has to do with anything I get the sleeping till late is annoying dd is back at college on thursday and she is going to get a shock trying to get up at6.30 but theyare adults and their sleeping is none of ourbussiness

What bar would let you get a job for 2 weeks then just leave like you were never there? A notice period itself is 2 weeks. Makes no sense

Why would you apply for a job hundreds of miles away if you're going home for Xmas though?

This 21-year-old is now 28 so it's probably no longer an issue.

My DS does this and it drives me insane. However, he does manage to get up earlier when College or work requires it so I'm just riding it out for now.

😂😂