To still not want sex 9 months after giving birth?

[chumbler]

My dh is being a saint about it, but I do feel guilty. I just don't fancy it, at all. My periods still haven't returned (I bf) but I feel like they'll be back soon, so hoping that'll help. And i had a 4th degree tear so it was a bit painful, but much better last time we tried. I also feel like being with baby 24/7 (due to bf - and feedibg to sleep etc) doesn't really put me in the mood! Aibu to not be interested in sex?

Op I am totally agog at the posts on here I really am.

I am staggered I cant imagine dh with a damaged penis and me selfishly trying to push him into sex and applying numbing agents I am agog.

Op I really feel for you but like everything else, go at your own pace.

I agree with HoHo. It took me about nine or ten months after my first - I had a Kielland's forceps delivery and was in horrendous pain. My issue wasn't so much related to soft tissue but my entire pelvis was just not in the right place and the idea of physical pressure was more than I could bear.

I have had another two kids since and no further issues, was fine by six week check both times.

No one is suggesting numbing agents to override ops wishes-ie to allow her callous husband to have sex regardless of her wishes. However, I think lack of libido and vg dryness associated with long term bf is not acknowledged really at all, and it can have quite an impact on a relationship. It is therefore reasonable to think about potential solutions or compromises.l personally have an extremely sensitive patch of skin at the entrance to my vagina. It was much worse when bf. I have sought help from
Numerous medical prof over fifteen years yet still have no dg or solution past use numbing agents at start of inter course. I want to have sex, I want my dh to feel close to me so I use it. While I was bf dh was happy with non penetrative shenanigans and I was happy to do that, but a lot less than before due to lack of libido. Am a bit with the hand wringing expressed by some, and the lack of empathy for both partners in this scenario.

To be fair I've had a gynae consultant pre DC and physio post-DC prescribe me numbing agents for painful sex, saying it will help re-train my traumatised nerves and then I won't need the numbing agent as I won't have pain.