to think rudeness in children isn't cute

[mommy2ash]

My family seem to find it hilarious that a young relative has developed what they call a sassy attitude. Said child is almost three and today was the first time I have witnessed this myself. She will put her hand up and say that's enough I'm not listening to you any more, shut up, don't talk to me anymore roll her eyes when you are speaking to her etc. she isn't even 3 yet. I found it very hard to watch especially as everyone was laughing and egging her on. What happens when she is too old for this to be cute anymore and the poor child doesn't know any better. I babysit for this relative quite often and feel like I will have to start declining if I am to be expected to be spoken to like that by a toddler.

Fred I'm not really sure what your point is. The child was being asked to eat their dinner, not to rip another child's colouring book,asked to put on their shoes normal everyday stuff. Yes I think a small child should learn to do as they are told in a normal family situation amongst people they know very well. Why would they not?

I suspect that the last few days have been very exciting, her usual routines have been turned on their head and she is now overtired, overstimulated and has been overindulged. Things will settle down again and, as she usually responds well to your somewhat stricter approach, I assume that you will soon be enjoying her company again.

That's a really good perspective. She is asleep next to me now as she wanted to come home with me so hopefully after a good nights sleep she will be back to her old self tomorrow. There has been so much going on this past week sometimes we forget the kids can find it hard. Your post has actually changed my view on this thanks for that

I have one DC who is very compliant and generally will do as he's told. The other, well, given an inch he'd take a mile and possibly flick you the v's on his way past. Their temperaments are polar opposites.

However, I am terribly strict with the more challenging one. He's a delight, bright and funny, but if there's an opportunity to be rude or to try it on, he will do. We have huge families and often he'll try and do it in front of guests who'll laugh and think he's hilarious. I agree completely that it does them no favours to allow rudeness to continue. When DS2 is trying it on, I simply state to him "we do not speak that way" and if he continues I ask him to leave the room til he can behave properly. There's nothing at all wrong with being strict with them even if they're not your own. YANBU at all.

Nip it certainly not cute at all, dame right rude, at school they will put a stop to attitude like thAt. Say no to any babysitting.

mommy2ash 'Fred I'm not really sure what your point is.'

To be fair, I'm kinda doubting even Fred knows the answer to that one...

TimetoMusk that was the point I was trying to make - my 4 year old is a model of politeness (mostly), "thank you mummy" because she understands fully what social rules are and how they work; my older DD just doesn't and she often comes across as rude. Despite that, she is not allowed to get away with it and no-one thinks its funny

I'm ignoring Fred who I assume is a stroppy 3 year old defending him/herself

The thing is, it's not just the parents who will be suffering when these little monsters grow up, it's all of us. We, as a society, will have to deal with someone who is (at the least) is rude and entitled, who cuts lines, shouts abuse at people who 'displease' them, and who flout rules. At the worst, we'll be dealing with people who think that society's rules don't apply to them. Lives are ruined by those people. Property is destroyed by those people. And prisons are full of those people.

I know a young man whose parents thought he was so clever with his sassy mouth and bullying attitude. He's now 20, already has a police record and is addicted to heroin. His parents just don't understand how he could have turned out that way.

My 1.5 yr old says "shit!" a lot and I think it's bloody adorable. It's kind of different though, his overall personality is very sweet and cuddly. Besides, most of time he's just trying to say "sit"... I hope.

My daughter has an occasional attitude problem. It has been 17 years of hard work. I don't mind not always being her friend, or thinking I'm a bitch as long as she grows up to be a civil person. That's my job and that's how I show my love for her. Now she is doing work experience I think she is glad she knows how to behave in a serious, adult, professional environment.

Just me who's a bit 'WTAF?' vis Freds posts?

No

Sometimes you just have to be the boss. I had an argument with my 6 year old today about her wanting to wear a party dress to an outdoor adventure play ground. I told her it wasn't suitable for climbing and she said "I won't climb then." This is clearly bonkers, because she loves climbing and it's only the perfectly predictable immaturity of a 6 year old which made her, in that moment, fail to understand that when she got there the climbing would be more important than what she was wearing, which had momentarily taken over her brain. It's my job to be the adult and to get her into suitable clothes for the day.

If another adult said "I don't want to wear boots, I hate mud" I would think "Your loss, you can have a boring day waiting for us in the car or something" but it's my job to help my 6 year old have a happy, healthy day.

Of course I got her into the right clothes but not by believing that she didn't care about climbing (not that I argued the point from that direction, which would be a waste of time - good luck with "I know better than you what you want" - even if you do) - but there was an element of authority to the discussion and my eventual victory.

Does anyone seriously think that was wrong?
Fred?

My friend's child was overly encouraged by dad to be obnoxious as a toddler and friend always seemed to turn her back to it. It was very uncomfortable to watch dad trying to turn his little boy into a man's man. Friend couldn't understand when he started nursery that the school had issues with him. I think the dad had issues from his own parenting and teen years but didn't understand toughening up can start too early.

It's my job to be the adult.
This sums it up exactly, for me.

Poor little lass, OP, I hope that you can exercise some influence.

The older I get and the longer I am around the workplace, the more I am convinced of the importance of basic courtesy / manners or whatever it may be described as. Qualifications and whatnot are of course necessary, but I, personally, believe that being able to interact with others courteously and pleasantly is so, so important.

Rudeness is never cute in children. Whenever I see it and it is not dealt with properly time after time by the parents, you do start to worry about how they will grow up.

If you spend a lot of time with her and this is the first time you have seen it. Is oils put it down to the time of year. Family parties, Christmas, new year always sent ds into a bit of a spin when he was 2/3 and wouldn't behave as well as he normally did.

I am shocked her parents or whoever was in garage of her didn't do anything though. Even when there are reasons for ds being over excited we would still pull him up.

He is five now and we have done a or of visiting over Christmas and parties and he has been fine. Actually better behaved than normal.

3 year olds need direction. It's just a fact. Try need to learn to listen to the adults that are looking after them. You can teach a child personal bounrdries and manners.

Well it's three hours into the day and so far she is being her usual self for me. She reminds me ever now and then she is my good girl so I think our little chat about my house rules last night has worked as much as it is going to with such a small child.

I have been told about her behaving this way in front of others for about two months now but never in front of me. I'm thinking some positive attention for good behaviour might help. Hopefully the other adults in her life stop laughing when she is misbehaving and that will put a stop to it.

She really is usually a little sweetheart so I'm not blaming the child in the least. At this age they push boundaries to see what is acceptable and she is getting mixed messages

My 2.5 year old has developed an attitude and it is cute especially the pout but I don't let her get away with it. I can only imagine it's going to get worse when she starts pre-school, but I'm not going to accept rude behaviour. (Generally she's ok though - says please and thank-you, is helpful etc., but just has the occasional teenager-like moment.)

Just me who's a bit 'WTAF?' vis Freds posts?

I'm not WTF, but then I have spent far more time than I would have liked in the company of followers of the "Taking Children Seriously"' philosophy.

My 1.5 yr old says "shit!" a lot and I think it's bloody adorable. It's kind of different though, his overall personality is very sweet and cuddly

Really? Adorable? Not maybe an indication that you need to curb your language in front of him?

I'll admit that the odd clanger like this from a dc can be funny. I can remember ds1 shouting at a car that cut me up 'you dangerous, inconsiderate arsehole' aged 3 and I had to bite my lip, hard, to keep from laughing.

But it taught me to be more aware of muttered cursing whilst driving and whilst it was funny I'd not have found it 'cute' if he started repeating 'arsehole' all the time.

My 1.5 yr old says "shit!" a lot and I think it's bloody adorable. It's kind of different though, his overall personality is very sweet and cuddly.

I don't understand. How can the fact he has a sweet and cuddly personality, which I'm sure he does, make it adorable for him to swear?

Unreal.

Summer, *Wilbur
*
"Besides, most of time he's just trying to say "sit"... I hope"
^^
It's cute because he's not swearing, he's mispronouncing "sit".