To not want to spend all day with ILs

[ChoudeBruxelles]

Saw all ILs including extended family 2 weeks before Christmas, PIL, SIL, BIL and their partners etc Christmas Eve, PIL came to us Christmas Day and have seen BIL and partner since Christmas. MIL wants everyone to go to theirs on Sunday so she can have the chance to cook a Christmas dinner. Dh is working and I had made vague plans to see a friend after ds had been to rugby training in the morning. I don't want to go but mil is now being stroppy. AIBU?

No its the day before your son goes back to school.... I wouldn't want to go either!

And she's a terrible cook

YANBU - you get to choose what to do with your time.

No fuck that.
Having just spent three days with mine while dh work, I have a new rule.
NO DH NO PIL. It was the longest three days of my life.

I'd love to say that ledkr but mil picks ds up from school once a week so often see her on my own.

Yanbu. I love all my ils, but it just all gets a bit too much. Very intense.

mil is now being stroppy

Stroppy how? And with whom?

I always think if stroppy's ok for them then stroppy's ok for me too. Get stroppy back.

Your DH should be dealing with his own mother btw.

You have plans. If she'd wanted to do this, she should have mentioned it over Christmas.

Definitely a no to going.

She apparently mentioned it to dh who didn't tell me - he's nipping in after work.

She's just being narky saying things like "it won't be the same if you and ds don't come. The whole family won't be together ..."

Tough luck MIL.

You've plans.

You won't be going, end of.

Yanbu. She is being unreasonable with her stroppiness

Oh gawd

Leave it as it is for now. If DH wants to pop in after work then let him.

If she keeps on at you just repeat - yeah ... never mind ... we'll all get together again soon i expect. Vague vague vague.

I don't usually mind going so long as dh does too but it's not like we haven't seen them. And she'll see ds on Monday as she's looking after him all day

Just tell her DH said yes before he had checked with you and that you have plans. Sounds like she thought she had everyone and then was told that she didn't. DH's fault but she shouldn't be stroppy with you.

Ugh no. Who wants to sit around eating Christmas dinner right now? I wouldn't want to hang out with ILs without DH either.

Yanbu. Explain that DH forgot to ask you and that you have other plans now. You're allowed to say no to an invite without getting snarky comments in return.

And YY to the thought of eating Christmas dinner again now being really unappealing!

So we compromised (kind of) no at PILs as dh has finished work. She saved lunch for us which I don't want to eat as I had lunch about 3 hrs ago.

YANBU.

Spent four nights and five days with the ILs over Christmas and they are now coming to ours next week to stay over for two nights, mid week too which is worse.

I've already planned to be out of the house on those two evenings.

'Thanks but as I said before, I had plans today and that included lunch. Perhaps freeze it for a meal for yourself later in the month?'