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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

those stretched ear lobes actually make me feel physically sick!

143 replies

M48294Y · 30/12/2015 16:07

I just find them repulsive to look at! seriously. Considering not going back to my opticians because their receptionist has them and I just find them a bit haunting iykwim.

They are even worse than those rings through the nose, which also just make me want to go ewwwwww!

OP posts:

Twindroops · 30/12/2015 16:48

YANBU OP its hideous

WingMirrorSpider · 30/12/2015 16:50

I've got trypophobia and they do make me feel really queasy and uncomfortable. I'm really relaxed about other body modifications. I don't mind tattoos or any other piercings (even though I've only got normally pierced ears) but the stretched holes I really don't like.

Oh I've just remembered I also dislike those raised type tattoos. Can't remember what they're called. Scarification? They creep me out in the same way.

DramaQueenofHighCs · 30/12/2015 16:50

Seriously grow up!! It's someone's choice of look and doesn't have anything to do with you!! People with 'alternative' looks have a hard enough time finding jobs as it is and its people like you who are the problem.
And before anyone says they just shouldn't do those things to themselves.... It's like 'living a lie' when you can't express yourself in the way you want to because of pressure from others and can lead to depression.
I'd love alternative coloured hair but can't in my place of work as its a school. I think it's ridiculous and do actually get very depressed but love my job - luckily I can put temporary colour in on holidays and weekends which gets me by.

grannytomine · 30/12/2015 16:50

I think I am too old to find the look attractive. The thing I find amazing is back in the day when I was a kid (not a very PC era the 50s) we would look at geography books of tribes to had huge ears or in their lips and laugh. Now you walk down the street and see it. It is a funny old world.

I don't think its the OPs fault it it makes her feel ill. I never know where to look if people have warts on their necks, lots of old people seem to get them or are they skin tags? I can't help it, they make me feel ill and I am always thinking why don't they get the removed. I suppose if it doesn't bother them it is their business but I can't help how they make me feel.

Original poster

M48294Y · 30/12/2015 16:52

Good choice of username there DramaQueen.

Seems like a lot of us on this thread need to grow up. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:

DramaQueenofHighCs · 30/12/2015 16:54

For the record btw I hate the stretched ear look too but as long as no one expects me to do it then it's fine by me. Some of the nicest, politest and most helpful shop assistants I've met have had stretched ears - actually practically ALL of the best have been those types of people! (I'm not saying you are judging them as people btw OP as I can see you are not, but just think how something like your post could upset people who are already marginalised because their fashion tastes are different from the norm. )

FindoGask · 30/12/2015 16:54

Sorry to hear this, OP.

those stretched ear lobes actually make me feel physically sick!

lampshady · 30/12/2015 16:55

It's just a 'thing'. Some of the extreme physical reactions to what someone else chooses to do with their body is worrying.

Original poster

M48294Y · 30/12/2015 16:58

I'm not really worried about upsetting anyone. I'm just saying what I think/how I feel. I don't really know why I put it in Aibu, could just have easily gone in Chat.

OP posts:

Roomba · 30/12/2015 17:00

I am all for people being allowed to do whatever on earth they like to their own bodies. But I do know what you mean, OP - I am repulsed by these! I've warned DS he'd better not even think about doing this as I can't even look at them.

ButImNotTheOnlyOne · 30/12/2015 17:00

They can look excellent

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 30/12/2015 17:03

Lampshady it makes more sense is more normal a reaction than getting 'depressed' because someone can't have extreme hair colours due to working in a school

DramaQueenofHighCs · 30/12/2015 17:03

OP firstly I'm apologising - I've just re-read the OP.... You feel how you feel and you are right you can't help that, but to consider not going somewhere because of ear stretchers on a member of staff is what upset me.... But after re-reading I've realised that there is a difference between changing where you go because of this and actually mentioning to the place that that is the reason why. So while I think these things are becoming more the norm and soon we won't be able to 'avoid' places because of ear stretchers as they will be (rightly so IMHO) allowed everywhere if that's your choice its your choice to make.

TBH I'm over sensitive to stuff like this because of experiences I and my friends have had. Telling you all to 'grow up' was a knee jerk reaction.

BatsUpMyNightie · 30/12/2015 17:04

They can look excellent

Indeed they can - on Maasai warriors. On Linda from Godalming they just look fucking ridiculous!

DramaQueenofHighCs · 30/12/2015 17:06

Triptrap - it's not just the 'extreme hair colours' - it's a contributing factor when you've been ruled over and unable to express yourself as a child and can't as an adult either. It was just a little bit of an example of something that can contribute to depression.

CrazyMermaidHair · 30/12/2015 17:07

I wouldn't judge anyone for having their ears stretched, but personally I think they are horrible. I saw a girl who'd had hers done on one of those Katie Piper programmes, she regretted it and yes, she mentioned the smell. Rotting flesh does stink. She had hers corrected.

Each to their own. Tattoos and piercings are fine, but plugs are a body modifictation to far for me.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/12/2015 17:09

I think they are awful but each to their own.

Unless things impact on the person beside them. Like the man whose dreads were so repulsively stinky I had to leave a restaurant. He was with a girl as well so clearly it doesn't bother some people.

AlpacaLypse · 30/12/2015 17:10

I'm with you OP.

I find very extreme body modification 'art' distracting. I remember getting new spectacles a couple of years ago, one of the front of shop staff was showing me styles within my budget and talking about which ones would work with my rather odd prescription, she was obviously knowledgeable and very pleasant but I couldn't stop trying not to stare at her piercings and trying not to read whatever it was she'd had written behind her ear and snaking up one wrist. I ended up saying I would sleep on it and pop in the next day. Which I did, after walking past really slowly to check that she wasn't working.

PageStillNotFound404 · 30/12/2015 17:11

I don't judge people with this type of body modification. I don't think it says anything about their character or skills, positive or negative. I'm glad they have the freedom to do whatever they want to their body.

I do have a visceral reaction to it and it makes me feel queasy. I'm not proud of it, I don't choose to have it and I'd rather I didn't have it. But it is what it is. I feel physically uncomfortable looking at it, although I hope I don't make that obvious to the person with the modification.

That makes me a bit pathetic and squeamish, probably, but it doesn't make me or anyone else who has the same involuntary reaction a bad or judgemental person.

Fairylea · 30/12/2015 17:12

My dh had very large stretched ears when I met him. They didn't smell at all - they don't if you shower every day and clean them properly just as you would with any part of yourself! They're just flappy empty holes!

I really liked them but due to him wanting to get a better job he paid an awful lot of money to have them sewn up and now you would never know he had ever had even pierced ears let alone holes!

Kerantli · 30/12/2015 17:14

I had a small plug/tunnel at one point, think it was about 1/4 of an inch in diameter. It didn't smell, at least that I can remember, and most of the time my hair covered it up. However, I don't like them any more and can see why others don't like them as looking right through a hole in an ear is a bit off putting!

but I don't understand the vitriol over nose piercings, most are small enough not to be noticed these days

Shockers · 30/12/2015 17:15

I wouldn't dislike, or judge someone who had them, but I really don't like looking at them.

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 30/12/2015 17:16

I agree it is UGLY [santa]

diddl · 30/12/2015 17:17

"I do have a visceral reaction to it and it makes me feel queasy."

Me too.

"They're just flappy empty holes!"

And that's the reason!

QuizteamBleakley · 30/12/2015 17:23

I don't get why people have them done. I know I could Google it but I hate the sight of it, it makes me

If Linda from Godalming is on here, or the OPs optician or anyone with flappy holes in their ears would do: why do you want massive holes in your ears? WHHHHYYYYYY?

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