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AIBU?

Shaken and freaked out. Future rapist for sure

255 replies

Chitterchatter1 · 30/12/2015 12:03

I went to visit a family friend who has recently lost her father. She lives in another town, so I drove and slept there.
We spent the evening drinking and reminiscing about her father. Her half brother was there with a friend. A very familial atmosphere. Lots of chatter. At leaving time the friend offered to walk us home. On arrival it got weird . It started with him insisting to come in. We politely declined. He got aggressive started talking all sexual and vulgar and tried to push his way into the house. We were pleading screaming for him to leave. He got his leg into the house, and his arm around the door and was jammed there, with both of us pushing the door closed. He must have been in agony bot refused to leave. It was scary. If we had been weaker, or alone he could have got in. He is a young man 20 ish. This lasted for about 10 minutes. My friend does not want to call the police . Her dad just died and I guess she has dynamics to consider. I think this man is a future rapist and deserves to be arrested.

OP posts:

Report

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 13:35

Christ, why does the stepbrother think the two of you would make up such a thing? Has he even asked his "friend" about it?

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 30/12/2015 13:35

The step brother or the friend? This is where the leg injuries and door damage are going to come in very nicely as proof outside the court room...

RainbowDashed · 30/12/2015 13:35

Report him, for all the reasons already given and also because he may try and blame any injury on you. Get your side of the story in first.

Chitterchatter1 · 30/12/2015 13:37

Sorry . The step brother is revolted and does not doubt our story. He confronted his friend, who denied and acted confused.

OP posts:

loooopo · 30/12/2015 13:37

The perpetrator has been given too much rope here already.

That flapping and confusion could go nasty and retaliatory very quickly.

Please call the police asap.

The step brother was not there, dont involve him.

Pipistrella · 30/12/2015 13:38

The step brother can corroborate the conversations that were had, hopefully.

Leelu6 · 30/12/2015 13:38

Creep indeed, OP. Oh, the bitter irony, walking two ladies home to supposedly to protect them, and then attacking them yourself.

What is the half (step?) brother's response to his friend's behaviour?

TheCrazyDuchess · 30/12/2015 13:39

Agreed - brother should not be involved at all that could have gotten v nasty v quickly.

Leelu6 · 30/12/2015 13:40

X post!

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 30/12/2015 13:40

Well now you e told the step brother who has confronted the friend you really must go to the police station and report his actions. He needs a rocket up the arse as this definitely could escalate into sexual assault in the future and if he gets a warning I would hope it would put him on the police radar.

loooopo · 30/12/2015 13:41

Leave your friend out of the decision to call the police or not - she is in deep grief and may be exhausted or her thinking off kilter - but you should do call asap. Please set yourself a deadline to pick up the phone in the next 5 minutes.

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 13:41

So how does friend account for his leg injuries? Or has he kept stet about that?

Now that he knows you aren't going to keep quiet, you need to tell the police ASAP before he has time to improve his story.

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 13:41

Sorry, schtumm, not stet.

MrsBalustradeLanyard · 30/12/2015 13:41

In that case I would report to the police whilst he still has visible injuries.

madein1995 · 30/12/2015 13:42

Poor, poor you. The last thing you, or your friend need, right now. Please do report it. He shouldn't have the right to make you scared in your own home and needs to be dealt with. I've never been in a situation like you have, but I have supported friends, and however hard it is for you (and it is hard) you can't leave it lie. The police are different, specially trained nowadays and will be able to help. I appreciate your friend doesn't want to say anything, but you need to act for you .No excusing his behaviour with 'hes grieving' or whatever. Grieving is a licence to cry, to eat, to withdraw from others, to go back to vices eg smoking and alcohol. Not a licence to attack others. Please be brave. Is there anyone you can speak to in RL? If not we're all here.

Youknowitmakessense · 30/12/2015 13:43

I'm really sorry for your ordeal.

Unfortunately you have a moral obligation to report this.

Not reporting will leave a dangerous man free to attack other women.

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 13:43

Why would the attacker be grieving? It wasn't his father who died.

wonkylampshade · 30/12/2015 13:46

Haven't read the full thread, but op you have to report this for the sake of the next person he does this to - there will be a next time

DoreenLethal · 30/12/2015 13:46

All perps say 'yeah you are right, I did try and rape and attack your sister. My bad' don't they?

Oh no, sorry - they don't - hence having a police force in the first place.

Youknowitmakessense · 30/12/2015 13:48

Seriously. Leave it to the professionals to deal with.

I'm so sorry to both of you, neither of you is in anyway responsible for his behaviour. He alone is culpable and may well have a history of offences.

PLEASE PLEASE REPORT IT

I know it isn't easy xxx

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 30/12/2015 13:49

I think op said the man had talked about losing his mum?

I think you should report too.

Bettercallsaul1 · 30/12/2015 13:50

In a way, it's a pity that the perpetrator has been warned of possible action against him. I think the way to go here is swift and direct - no need for discussion with outside parties. An offence (attempted forced entry) has already been committed, and, if any threats were made, this can be construed as assault (which doesn't have to be physical - a threat or intent to harm is enough). There is more than enough here to go straight to the police.

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 13:51

He said his mother died when he was young - he may have issues arising from that, but he isn't recently bereaved.

loooopo · 30/12/2015 13:51

I am seriously concerned for the safety of you and your friend.

This could go nasty and retaliatory very quickly.....he sounds deranged and could come back to attack, stalk or abuse either of you now or in the future.

Please dont minimise what he could be capable of.

This needs dealing with.

Lottapianos · 30/12/2015 13:54

Dear god OP, how utterly terrifying for both of you. Don't be alarmed about your feelings of confusion and the temptation to minimise what happened - its a very common reaction when you've been attacked or threatened.

I can only agree with absolutely everyone else in advising you to phone the police.

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