Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To have posted this reply to colleague

74 replies

loopsylala · 30/12/2015 09:20

My colleague is on facebook posting about how lucky 'some' people are to have their DPs "doing all the childcare, housework, shopping" for them while some other people (ie her) have had to move away from home and have no one to help them (she's a single mum too)

Due to health problems, which she knows about but I won't go into for fear of outing myself, I have a lot of help with my child and around the house. Been in and out of hospital too.

Was I unreasonable to reply that she's actually lucky NOT to need any help?

Think the first day back at work might be awkward now...

OP posts:

Jackie0 · 30/12/2015 09:22

Yanbu
Woe is me fb updates are always asking for trouble

ammature · 30/12/2015 09:23

If she's a single mum I'm sure she does need help with running the house, childcare etc.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 30/12/2015 09:23

YABU.

Take the high road and ignore.

Arfarfanarf · 30/12/2015 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatsUpMyNightie · 30/12/2015 09:24

Do you think she's aiming her comments at you then? I'd just leave it tbh - it's how she feels. You feel how you feel. Everything doesn't need a response - especially on FB.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 30/12/2015 09:28

YABU.

RiverTam · 30/12/2015 09:28

Thst was pretty bitchy if you, tbh. I very much doubt she had anyone in particular in mind, she was having a moan. And how do you know she doesn't need any help? She may not need the same help as you but I can imagine being a single working mum isn't a walk in the park.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 30/12/2015 09:28

You've responded as though she were having a personal dig- was she? She was probably just down in the dumps about her own situation. I think you responded quite touchily, guess you are down in the dumps too? It's not a competition though.

Original poster

loopsylala · 30/12/2015 09:29

Its not the first time she's said something. So yes I think she's aiming this at me.

OP posts:

madmother1 · 30/12/2015 09:29

Oh dear.......I stupidly broke my rule of not having work colleagues on my fb and now I bearly look at it. I've taken fb off my phone too. It really changed my view of people. I believe your private life and work should be separate. Just learn from it and maybe take all your work mates off of your friends list. I now can ask the question, "what did you do at the weekend," instead of thinking. ...Oh, I've seen it on fb, so I won't ask! At the end of the day, you were expressing your view if she mentions it!

Enjolrass · 30/12/2015 09:33

Yabu.

Just because you have no one to help , doesn't mean you don't need help.

I get that her post annoyed you and you feel it was directed at you. But she isn't lucky to not need help. She just doesn't have it. So your post means nothing.

I don't need help. I have dh and we are both in good health. I have aspergers but don't need help from outside our household. I am like lucky, that so far, nothing has meant I need outside help.

HortonWho · 30/12/2015 09:41

If you moaned about your health issues, would you be happy with someone replying at least you're not terminally ill?

antimatter · 30/12/2015 09:45

why are you getting drawn in into public exchange of views about your health

leave it, remove her from your FB - wouldn't that be better for everyone?

insancerre · 30/12/2015 09:45

I would have posted that its not 'luck' that some people have a partner and some don't
Not if she was a widow, obviously
Actually, I lie. I would have typed it but then deleted it

iloveeverykindofcat · 30/12/2015 09:46

I understand it's upsetting to feel that people are having a go, but honestly I think with this social media stuff the best thing to do is ignore. It can all escalate too quickly, whether or not she intended it as a dig. Don't engage.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/12/2015 09:48

Ignore from now on, there's no point getting into a tit for tat exchange.

If the atmosphere is frosty you'll have to work through it.

Takeparacetamolandstopmoaning · 30/12/2015 09:49

Ywbu. She didn't aim it at you did she?

saoirse31 · 30/12/2015 09:49

Yabu and have made yourself look a bit silly and uncaring too I think.

Sallyingforth · 30/12/2015 09:49

YABU to take anything seriously on FB.
Ignore it and move on.

ClashCityRocker · 30/12/2015 09:50

I also think YAB a little u.

She's clearly feeling stressed and is entitled to have a rant, although fb is not the medium I would have chosen. It sounds like you're just playing at competitive misery, to be honest.

And, of course, maybe she actually does need help and is struggling.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 30/12/2015 09:52

YABU.

Just because you have no one to help , doesn't mean you don't need help

If you moaned about your health issues, would you be happy with someone replying at least you're not terminally ill?

I think you need to take a deep breath and get over it.

I have no one to help. I have to do every single tiny thing and make every single decision. It is exhausting. Yes, I can do it with no help but I would kill for someone to share the burden of day to day life.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 30/12/2015 09:53

Meant to say that I completely agree with the quotes I italicised.

Nydj · 30/12/2015 10:00

I don't really understand why her making similar comments in the past makes you think she was having a dig at you by making a fairly generic comment. Could you explain please?

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 30/12/2015 10:04

Facebook is pathetic! Get off and don't look back.

Birdsgottafly · 30/12/2015 10:12

I thought this was going to be about a sexist woman, saying how lucky women are you have partners that are behaving as adults should.

We're all entitled to have a moan on FB about our own circumstances.

OP in a way, you are lucky, I've been seriously ill and my house has fell apart around me. I even bought paper plates and it's cost me a fortune buying ready prepared food.

Under the old DLA rules I could have claimed, but can't under PIP.

So I'm spending a lot of time in bed, because I can't afford to heat my house, as I need to.

It's helped me decide what direction my voluntary work, will take next.

It must grate, if your situation is permanent, mine isn't and neither is hers.

I have a relative that thinks everyone's FB status is about her, when they haven't even thought about her for weeks.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread