AIBU to want an even number of children?

[Charlottethemother]

Dh and I are debating having DC3, however I feel that if we have 3, one of them will always be a bit left out (illogical and probably not true...) so I think if I have DC3 I will then have DC4 as well.
Is 4 too many??

we have three with 2 years between. I was shocked how hard a third has been, we were thinking of 4 but my sanity and relationship wouldn't survive

I'm the same Coco I've got three and would like another but then I'd think I had to have five :o We may adopt when ours are older too. We'll see what happens.

Rubble I also found 2-3 shockingly difficult. O-1 was the hardest, though! DC3 is 7 months now and things are settling a bit. I think in a few years time I can see myself thinking of another.

I found 1-2 hard and 2-3 was easy

I think so much depends on the age and character of the children

I have 4dc. 5 years between each of them. Hard work at times - but seeing them all playing and helping each other when not trying to kill each other especially this Christmas has been amazing. I only ever wanted 3 - dc4 was a shock.
I too found going from 1-2 dc the biggest shock.

I am the youngest and only girl out of the 4 of us. 11 years between me and my eldest brother. Then us 3 were all born within 4 years. Age gap was because it took my mum 8 years to have another baby after the first. We all got along OK. Don't really remember my eldest brother because of age gap. Now I am closest to the brother up from me. Quite close to the one above that. But none of us are actually that close to the eldest. I have 2 children myself. Partner also has an older child. We are considering 1 more. Not really bothered if equal or not as does not mean anything really

Tootsie I may end up with a family like that! We had DS, then didn't have DD for six years. Then I found out I was pregnant with DS2 when DD was 15 months. So now they are 8, 2, and 7 months. If we have another it will be in the next 2-3 years. I always think DS1 feels like a mama duck with little ducklings trailing after :)

Im the youngest of 3.
Was always left out of thing - however this has made me very focussed in my life and not dependent on anyone for my own happiness.

My little one is always trying to join in with the others, and sometimes they don't allow her as they're playing a game with fiddly bits. She doesn't get upset though, just goes off and plays on her own. She's very resilient, which I am not, and this makes me happy! She can hold her own with big boys and girls, too. Think she'll be just fine!

What if you have triplets? Will you send one back or have another?

Thanks for the input icebeing - so when my #2 turned out to be #2 and #3 I should have given one of them back?

People keep asking if we will have another child because we have 3 boys. Which is bonkers.

I couldn't cope with another pregnancy and I certainly don't think I could cope with another set of twins.

Sometimes I worry that my singleton might end up left out when they're older but hopefully that won't happen as they are very close in age (18.5 mo gap) so hopefully will all play together.

I wouldn't base my choices on number of children around odd/even rules.

I'm the oldest of three, with 18 months between me & DB, 3 years between him & DSis. We're all close now, but at the time I was very happy that they played with each other & left me in peace.

I have 4 - youngest doesn't play properly yet - other 3 play fairly well - although oldest two (dd1 and ds1) try to pair off & dd2 tries to pair off with dd1 - will be easier when ds2 is a bit more focused at games.

FWIW if 3 doesn't work 4 is fine.

I'm the middle one of three, as a kid it sometimes bothered me but no lasting damage.

I have 4 all grown up now. I hate to worry anyone but I think it is easy when the are children and you know where they are and that everything is OK. With 4 there always seems to be a drama in someones life, boyfriend trouble, job trouble, money trouble. I hold my breath when the phone goes until I hear a cheerful voice and then I can relax. I think the late teens and early 20s have scarred me for life! The youngest is 24 in a few months and I think the worst is over.

Uni was fun, they went in two groups of two as number one and number 3 took a gap year and number 2 and number 4 didn't. The money and the journeys carting their stuff around, couldn't they at least have gone to the same uni, or the same city or even the same county. With the first two it was 150 miles north and 150 miles south I think. Busy week at the start of the year.

I think I am a born worries, I get more cheerful calls than miserable ones but I do seem to worry anyway.

I loved it when they were little, didn't even mind the horrors of puberty that much.

Just thought of the biggest horror of all. I live in a grammar school area and had the joy of the 11 plus 4 times, well 5 if you include me. It was awful with the youngest, I was so worried that if he didn't get it he would feel a failure as the other 3 had all passed. I know he would have been all right as he is bright and capable but I just worried how he would feel. He was OK but now it starts with the DGC, the eldest has done his 11 plus this year. Oh joy.

We have four dc. Three was a lovely number for us. The dynamics between them were fine and they graviutated towards a different sibling for different things. I just really wanted another dc and dh eventually caved .

Four dc isn't too many for us. I don't agree that it is just as easy as three though. We have got more relaxed as the family has grown. But it is pretty chaotic. DC4 is still a baby so hopefully will get easier as she grows up. Having 3dc if one is out feels like a break these days.

klaptout if you have triplets then you have triplets...if you have 2 kids and are thinking of having another deliberately then I would suggest considering not doing so on the basis of environmental concerns.