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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this is completely weird?

200 replies

whyistherumgone · 29/12/2015 23:14

OK, before I start I know this is going to sound like I'm trolling but I absolutely promise this is for real.
My cousin and I have been whatsapping tonight - she's just bought a house with her DP having never lived together before and we often end up having chats about those annoying habits you discover when you move in together.
Tonight she mentioned that one thing has happened and she can't get her head around it and doesn't know how to tackle it with DP, whether to bring it up or just leave it so wanted my advice. I'm afraid I'm just slightly agog and can offer no explanation but have her full permission to post here to see if anyone else has any gems to offer...

DP is out and she was tidying up the bedroom. She opened his top drawer to put some socks away and found a ziplock bag....full of what can only be (her words) neatly trimmed pubic hair. Just resting on top of the socks. The dustpan and brush was sitting on top of his chest of drawers. She's a bit freaked out by the whole thing - why didn't he just flush it or throw it away?it's mainly the effort of having swept it into the bag that's bothering her, I mean why keep it?? She feels like she should bring it up but isn't sure how... I think she should leave the bag on top of the drawers so it's visible and see what he does...

Any ideas? I have to admit I'm been torn between laughing like a complete loon and complete bafflement. We've now had a few glasses of wine between us and the whatsapps are becoming completely hysterical. Do join us with any wisdom you can offer.

OP posts:
Bambooshoots14 · 30/12/2015 14:58

Did she at least get a photo of him asleep on the sofa cuddling up with his bag of pubes? Grin

LoTeQuiero · 30/12/2015 15:32

CLASSICS!! Funniest thing I've read for ages.

Sleeping with his bag of pubes.... weeps. That's also a hole - surely if what he said was true he would have thrown them away instantly at that point out of sheer embarrassment if nothing else?!

Bupcake · 30/12/2015 15:41

I have a friend who's sister used to collect her own eyelashes and (I think) nail clippings. She kept them in a little box until my friend found them and laughed at her. The sister is a bit odd, but laughs about it now.

However, as they've told the story over the years, they've had quite a few people admit that they did something similar (usually just eyelashes, but sometimes curls of hair as well). So it's maybe not as odd as it sounds!

helennotsomadnow · 30/12/2015 15:52

He's probably going to kill her, pull her insides out through her bumhole, then re-stuff her with pube trimmings and turn her into a cushion. Xmas GrinXmas Grin

maybe he is going to sell it, or is writing a book called 1001 uses for pubic hair

CallMeExhausted · 30/12/2015 16:11

I know... he's makin' a merkin!

Or perhaps he is going to invent the Pubic's Cube like a Rubik's Cube but the hair all curls in the same direction when you solve it

You're welcome Grin

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 18:58

Final update....
After a further chat it transpires that the explanation is a half truth - he did pre-groom in the bedroom as she was in the bath but the reason he didn't bin or flush them was because he burns them. Used to have a log burner in his old place, they are in the process of getting one installed in new place so was just hanging on to them until he either lit a bonfire in the garden (i spose) or until the log burner was in situ....something he's always done that his dad and brothers do also....

The anger was obviously to cover the embarrassment at the discovery.

I believe it. Mystery over. Not sure how she feels about cosy pube burning around the hearth but at least now she knows.

This thread has been hugely entertaining - Pubic's Cube had me roaring. Thanks for brightening up a gloomy, windy day and giving both me and my cousin much food for thought. She's going to sign up now, so look out for pube-related usernames Grin

OP posts:
WitchWay · 30/12/2015 19:08

So he's from a totally weird family of pube-collecting pube-burners

oh dear Xmas Confused

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 19:12

Basically, yes. How reassuring.

I have no idea how I would react to this but I'm not sure I could look at him without thinking 'pube collector'

OP posts:
Muddlewitch · 30/12/2015 19:14

His dad and brother did too? Do you think they did it all together, with a little speech about the passing of old pubes and growth of new ones?

How did they even find out the dad did it? Did it accompany the birds and bees talk? My brain is exploding!

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 19:16

No idea muddle

My mind went to some strange rite of passage where they all wear symbolic robes and stand about the fire together

If they have a DS in the future, I wonder if he expects to instruct him in the same manner?

OP posts:
TooSassy · 30/12/2015 19:17

This thread has me crying laughing!!!! It's a classic in the making!

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 19:20

How am I ever going to be able to keep quiet about this at family gatherings???!
I'll never be able to drink at them again.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/12/2015 19:25

and wanted to be all neat and tidy, and as he couldn't flush he popped it into a ziplock bag instead

Completely irrelevant but I'm a bit astonished at the idea of just having a zip lock bag handy for this.

I'm not sure I could face him again knowing all this.

DPotter · 30/12/2015 19:29

I'm not sure about the log burner thing. Burnt hair, pubic or otherwise, smells foul and lingers long and is not something I would like to have in my living room.

Now I can hear the cogs whirring from - how does Dpotter know that ? My answer - tricks of my trade dear hearts, tricks of my trade.....

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 19:33

Gosh I hadn't even considered the smell DPotter

This has really opened a can of worms hasn't it? Bet she never puts his washing away agin Grin

OP posts:
summerdreams · 30/12/2015 19:34

Wow this thread is everything that Is good about mumsnet. Lmfao Xmas Grin

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 19:34

Thinking about the smell of accidental hair burning with straighteners, you're completely right - why would you choose this as a disposal method?

My mind is boggled. >reaches for the wine

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 30/12/2015 19:38

Gosh I hadn't even considered the smell DPotter

I did and then didn't post in case you wondered if I definitely knew there would be smell and how I knew . There is for hair from head. I have never burnt public hair.

SouthWesterlyWinds · 30/12/2015 19:45

If he's going to burn them, he clearly has no attachment to them unless it's some weird ritual where he dances backwards whilst rubbing his right nipple with goose fat and chanting begone wizard ghost.

Still, one way to destroy DNA, ehh?

hefzi · 30/12/2015 19:48

Who ever knew that pubic hair had possibilities for fire starting? They never tell you that in the survival books! Never mind having no kindling - just a quick rummage, and you'll be blazing away in no-time.

Pipbin · 30/12/2015 19:54

something he's always done that his dad and brothers do also
So they all trim their pubes? Am I alone in finding men, especially men of increasing years, trimming their pubes?

Pipbin · 30/12/2015 19:58

Odd, I meant to add on the end of that, I find pube trimming odd.

PegsPigs · 30/12/2015 20:02

Still lol'ing at Build a Bear! MN at its best Wine

Almost disappointed at the real reason. Almost. The image of setting fire to the hearth rug by flying pube sparks is making me chuckle!

Original poster
whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 20:03

Cousin is now saying she will have to invest in some 'strongly scented' yankee candles to hide the smell. Seems like she's happy for it to continue- maybe they're meant to be after all. Grin

OP posts:
bonzo77 · 30/12/2015 20:06

I think hanging onto hair trimmings (and nail clippings etc) and burning them might be part of a superstitious ritual. To stop witches getting them and using them for nefarious purposes. A bit like not letting a black cat cross your path, or not passing salt cellar directly from one persons hand to another's.

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