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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that this is completely weird?

200 replies

whyistherumgone · 29/12/2015 23:14

OK, before I start I know this is going to sound like I'm trolling but I absolutely promise this is for real.
My cousin and I have been whatsapping tonight - she's just bought a house with her DP having never lived together before and we often end up having chats about those annoying habits you discover when you move in together.
Tonight she mentioned that one thing has happened and she can't get her head around it and doesn't know how to tackle it with DP, whether to bring it up or just leave it so wanted my advice. I'm afraid I'm just slightly agog and can offer no explanation but have her full permission to post here to see if anyone else has any gems to offer...

DP is out and she was tidying up the bedroom. She opened his top drawer to put some socks away and found a ziplock bag....full of what can only be (her words) neatly trimmed pubic hair. Just resting on top of the socks. The dustpan and brush was sitting on top of his chest of drawers. She's a bit freaked out by the whole thing - why didn't he just flush it or throw it away?it's mainly the effort of having swept it into the bag that's bothering her, I mean why keep it?? She feels like she should bring it up but isn't sure how... I think she should leave the bag on top of the drawers so it's visible and see what he does...

Any ideas? I have to admit I'm been torn between laughing like a complete loon and complete bafflement. We've now had a few glasses of wine between us and the whatsapps are becoming completely hysterical. Do join us with any wisdom you can offer.

OP posts:

Gliblet · 30/12/2015 11:01

For my part I'm remembering the Eugene Toombs X-Files episodes and (rational explanations aside) I reckon he's saving up for a nest

PerspicaciaTick · 30/12/2015 11:05

He needs an unggue pot, or possibly several.
wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Unggue

Trills · 30/12/2015 11:08

If a wizard gets hold of our hair they can use it to do things to you...

Pipbin · 30/12/2015 11:19

He said he was grooming himself one night when she was in the bath having a soak, as he was planning on DTD when she got out and wanted to be all neat and tidy, and as he couldn't flush he popped it into a ziplock bag instead, put it in his drawer and forgot about it.

Why couldn't he flush?
Why would putting the pubes in a bag be a easier option than in the bin.
I'm confused - are they her pubes or his?

Fairenuff · 30/12/2015 11:26

She should just leave it now. He doesn't want to tell her and why should he? Just because they live together doesn't mean they can't have some privacy.

hellsbellsmelons · 30/12/2015 11:33

I think it's mega creepy and seriously weird.
I don't think it's his pubic hair and I do think they are 'trophy pubes'

hefzi · 30/12/2015 11:39

Perhaps he's just a neat freak, and didn't want pubes to get into the microwave/asthma inhaler etc if he just chucked a fluffy bundle into the bin, so tidied them up and forgot to throw them away?

That or he really is one of those famed "lentil-eating hippies who knit their attire from their own public hair" that I'd always assumed was an urban myth!

PurpleHairAndPearls · 30/12/2015 11:43

I am not googling the knitting of pubes.

Years ago a colleague announced at her desk that her pregnancy was making her very...hirsute. IIRC she shared with us that she could "make her pubes into a plait" and traumatised my younger male colleagues quite considerably.

Back to topic at hand however...has he been reading The Cider House Rules, perhaps? I'm trying to decide if it's more disturbing for said pubes to belong to an ex or to him. It's tricky.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 30/12/2015 11:50

He's got some sort of weird fetish. It's obvious.
What is she going to do? I just couldn't get past that sort of thing I'm afraid. Not the fact he's got a fetish; I'm pretty broad minded that way. But it's so comical. I could never look at him sexually again. My image of him would be forever tainted by the idea of him fussily sweeping pube clippings into his little bag, before carefully placing the bag atop his pants, giving it a proud little pat before closing the drawer.

WicksEnd · 30/12/2015 11:51

She needs to look up 'Monkeyface'

diddl · 30/12/2015 11:56

That's wierd imo.

Brushed them into a ziploc bag?

Could have easily just put them in the bin or down other toilet rather than in a bag that is usually only used when you intend to keep something imo.

pocketsaviour · 30/12/2015 11:58

His explanation makes no sense whatsoever and is clearly something he's come up with to try to cover his shame. I think this is an OCD manifestation TBH. I have heard of similar with people not being able to throw away toenail clippings.

InQuiteAChristmasPickle · 30/12/2015 12:07

I have nothing useful to add but I would just like to say thank you for cheering up a dull, rainy Wednesday!

I practically shit a kidney at "He's probably going to kill her, pull her insides out through her bumhole, then re-stuff her with pube trimmings and turn her into a cushion." 😂

AlisonWunderland · 30/12/2015 12:15

If I were her, I'd mentally file this under "endearing quirk" and drop the subject.
He's embarrassed.

And frankly it's preferable to just leaving the trimmings all over bathroom floor (glare at eldest son...)

emotionsecho · 30/12/2015 13:10

Thatsnot a perfect summary.

His explanation makes no sense, if a dustpan and brush are required just empty the contents of the pan in the bin, 'tis odd, very odd.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/12/2015 13:23

Huh, agree that it's just reached a whole new level of weird with his reactions. WTF? Your poor cousin as well - now he's not speaking to her??

Something most peculiar about this. I suppose they are his pubes, are they, he's not secretly snipping hers in the night?

UnGoogleable · 30/12/2015 13:55

Oh I actually feel quite sorry for him.

I believe his explanation, and he's just mortified that she's found them. That's all. Poor guy

wonkylampshade · 30/12/2015 14:00

I also think it's a fetish that has been rumbled

Original poster

whyistherumgone · 30/12/2015 14:01

Why couldn't he flush?
Why would putting the pubes in a bag be a easier option than in the bin.
I'm confused - are they her pubes or his?

pubes are his - he says he couldn't flush because she was in the bathroom in the bath but there's a downstairs toilet and lots of bins, so doesn't really make sense.

Anyway, she's left it but he's since brought it up again and said it's just something he does, the way he likes to do things and that she should just leave it and not go through his things (which she wasn't, she was just putting washing away).

Perhaps the OCD suggestions here are spot on, which is really sad and makes me feel sorry for him - I hope if he is suffering something like that he can actually talk to her about it, although maybe he doesn't realise himself.

She's decided to leave it for it now and not harass him any further about it...

OP posts:

Grilledaubergines · 30/12/2015 14:08

Maybe he's angry because she has invaded his space pubes.

Seriously, if DH went through my undies drawer I would not be impressed.

I believe his reason.

Grilledaubergines · 30/12/2015 14:09

Ok so she was just putting stuff away but maybe just leave his pile of stuff somewhere for him to put away himself.

Pooseyfrumpture · 30/12/2015 14:14

Did she at least get a photo of him asleep on the sofa cuddling up with his bag of pubes?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/12/2015 14:17

Another very good reason to leave the men to put their own washing away. I always leave DH's in a pile on the bed/top of the drawers, that way he can never ask me "where are my socks/pants/t-shirts" because I don't know

Bellyrub1980 · 30/12/2015 14:22

o think she should collect her pubes in a bag and give them to him on Valentine's Day.

Pipbin · 30/12/2015 14:25

I'm old, is trimmings ones pubes the done thing before sex these days?
Seriously, when living with a partner is it now perfectly normal to think, 'I fancy some sexy time tonight, I'll give my pubes a quick trim'?

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