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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't have to give DH a lift?

103 replies

Fretful · 29/12/2015 22:19

So, my husband's going out at 7pm tomorrow to meet his friend to watch football and have a few drinks. He's going to a pub around 8 miles away, the place is not on a regular bus route from our house (but by no means impossible), and taxi would probably cost around £10.

He's asked me to 'drop him off', i.e. do a 16 mile round trip purely to take him to the door of the pub. I am 8 months pregnant and have a 4 and a 7 year old.

Was I unreasonable to tell him to get a taxi?! He has managed to make me feel guilty, but I think it's a lot to ask, particularly at that time of night from the kids' point of view.

OP posts:
Socialaddict · 29/12/2015 23:11

I would most definitely NOT give him a lift to the pub in your condition and with the two young kids! How selfish of him!

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 29/12/2015 23:12

Honestly, I think your comfort (and that of your 2/3 kids) is worth £10 for a taxi- and if £10 is so much money to your DP then I'd question why he was prioritising spending £££ on drinking when he's got a third child on the way.

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 23:13

It's no distance and not late- no problem at all with dropping him off. Definitely taxi home though!

Shelby2010 · 29/12/2015 23:15

As a PP said, if the 4 yr old falls asleep how would you manage to lug her up to bed? If you didn't have kids it would be ok, but at 8mths preg he should be getting the kids to bed before he goes out.

Abraid2 · 29/12/2015 23:17

It's only 7pm, in the holidays.

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 23:17

Oh for goodness sake- unless you have health problems you're capable of carrying a 4 year old when you're pregnant!

BackInTheRealWorld · 29/12/2015 23:17

I don't see a problem with him asking you for a lift and I don't see a problem with you saying no. Neither of you abu. No biggie.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2015 23:22

unless you have health problems you're capable of carrying a 4 year old when you're pregnant! And unless he's on the breadline (in which case no booze) or seriously disable (which OP hasn't mentioned) he's capable of getting a cab.

I had a fucking terrible back during my pregnancy and following it. And DH isn't a knobber so wouldn't have expected a lift at that point in the pregnancy.

As I say, I ferry him around all the time normally.

BathtimeFunkster · 29/12/2015 23:22

Why would any parent want to drag their children out in the dark and cold at bedtime just to experience being driven to the pub in their own car?

3 people being put out so one selfish person can avoid doing something which is hardly a big deal - getting a cab.

I don't get it. Why is it worse for him to get a cab than for a pregnant woman and two small children to go out for a drive to nowhere at bedtime in the cold, dark, and wind?

I wouldn't dream of asking DH to do this.

I can get myself to the pub like the big girl that I am.

inlovewithhubby · 29/12/2015 23:22

And op's hubby is just as 'capable' of getting a taxi Bertrand... Of course she could do it, but it would be harder work, all round, in every way. In my view she's being completely reasonable in making her life as easy as she can when she's got 7 pounds of growing human sitting on her pelvic floor. And doing so without guilt.

Krampus · 29/12/2015 23:24

Fair enough TerryPratchett Xmas Grin

I was meaning giving lifts, even with young kids in tow, not the pregnancy bit. My husband once picked me up from a train station over an hour away, during the early hours with young children in the back. I had got drunk, missed the last train and dropped my purse somewhere Blush One of my pregnancies I felt good at 8 months because finally the morning sickness had eased and I was desperate to get out doing anything, even driving someone about. Pregnancy is very often a factor in not doing something but not always. The next pregnancy I could hardly walk at 8 months.

FlatOnTheHill · 29/12/2015 23:25

Yanbu

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2015 23:28

I had got drunk, missed the last train and dropped my purse somewhere Blush Sorry but I laughed at that. The good old days!

MLGs · 29/12/2015 23:29

I think that the price of the taxi is worth it to save you having to take kids out at their bedtime.

BackforGood · 29/12/2015 23:32

His options (were he my dh) are :

i) Use public transport (I know you said it's not great, but....)
ii) Go to a more local pub to watch the match
iii) Watch the match at home
iv) stump up for a taxi
v) take the car and enjoy the match and being with his mates whilst remaining sober
vi) get a lift with someone else who is going

It would seem he has plenty of choices without you having to take the 2 dc out at bedtime

Krampus · 29/12/2015 23:41

Terry he has been known to remind me, when he wants something.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2015 23:42

Oh I just bet he does. I would be recycling that gem for YEARS. Grin

BertrandRussell · 29/12/2015 23:54

"I had a fucking terrible back during my pregnancy and following it."

So of course you shouldn't have even been asked to give anyone a lift.

But unless the OP has a bad back or similar or unless her dp is an arsehole, then 16!miles is no distance, 7 is not late and pregnancy is not a disability.

Original poster
Fretful · 29/12/2015 23:58

Yes to the sore back - hence why I'm still awake now as am firmly attached to a hot water bottle and hoping it settles down...

OP posts:
Original poster
Fretful · 29/12/2015 23:59

Yes to the sore back - hence why I'm still awake now as am firmly attached to a hot water bottle and hoping it settles down...

OP posts:
Original poster
Fretful · 30/12/2015 00:00

Oops.

OP posts:
Inertia · 30/12/2015 00:30

Of course you are not unreasonable! He should be thinking himself lucky he wasn't asked to help with the children's bedtime before going out.

If 16 miles is no distance then getting a taxi is no problem.

Spilose · 30/12/2015 00:32

I'd take him but I don't think yabu. At 8 months pregnant you're allowed to be selfish

HugglePuffCherryPop · 30/12/2015 00:44

Selfish is Self centred is what comes to mind.

If my husband did that. He'd be in the dog house. Lol

KP86 · 30/12/2015 00:45

Tell him to download the uber app and use that. Probably cheaper than £10.

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