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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't have to give DH a lift?

103 replies

Fretful · 29/12/2015 22:19

So, my husband's going out at 7pm tomorrow to meet his friend to watch football and have a few drinks. He's going to a pub around 8 miles away, the place is not on a regular bus route from our house (but by no means impossible), and taxi would probably cost around £10.

He's asked me to 'drop him off', i.e. do a 16 mile round trip purely to take him to the door of the pub. I am 8 months pregnant and have a 4 and a 7 year old.

Was I unreasonable to tell him to get a taxi?! He has managed to make me feel guilty, but I think it's a lot to ask, particularly at that time of night from the kids' point of view.

OP posts:
Doilooklikeatourist · 29/12/2015 22:35

Give him a lift there
He can get a taxi or a lift home

Original poster
Fretful · 29/12/2015 22:36

It's not a lot, brianbutterfield, but it is every time he does go out. Before the kids came along he would ask me to pick him up, too.

OP posts:
ALongTimeComing · 29/12/2015 22:36

Taxi vote from me

DH said he would get a taxi too

He should be putting the kids to bed before he goes out, letting you get an early night and then taking the car in case you go in to labour early. I found pregnancy really difficult and had issues that meant I needed help too.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2015 22:38

I give lifts to DH all the time and I enjoy driving. But he wouldn't even ask near bedtime and we have one child.

If the four yo falls asleep in the car, then an 8 month pregnant women has to carry a 30lb (40?) bag of spuds into the house. For 10 quid? Madness.

Morganly · 29/12/2015 22:38

No way. You are staying in and looking after the children to enable him to go out and have fun without you. He should be grateful. Selfish git.

BathtimeFunkster · 29/12/2015 22:38

Nope, I wouldn't drag anyone out in this weather to save myself a tenner never mind two children and a pregnant woman.

Lots of men aren't drinking any more when their wives are that pregnant.

Topseyt · 29/12/2015 22:38

I am another who dislikes driving after dark.

I would be rather reluctant, but perhaps if it really is a one-off I might agree to the drop-off on condition that I most certainly would not be picking him up later. He would be getting a taxi home.

Alisvolatpropiis · 29/12/2015 22:40

I don't think it's a big deal and would drop him off but it depends really on how easy your children are to get to bed/coping with disruption to their bed time routines.

kslatts · 29/12/2015 22:41

I would give DH a lift but if I asked him to get a taxi he would. Depends whether money is an issue for you.

Original poster
Fretful · 29/12/2015 22:41

He does tell the kids off for not leaving me alone and reminding them I'm supposed to be resting... Doing a jigsaw with them, however, is slightly more relaxing than driving in the evening with two overtired girls to a place I'm unfamiliar with to drop him off and head straight back home to then try and settle them on my own.

ALongTimeComing - that all sounds so reasonably practical, particularly given the difficulties I've been having, but would just never occur to him.

My mind's made up, I just need to stop feeling guilty!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 29/12/2015 22:44

Oh, and at 8 months pregnant I would be even more reluctant, but then I did have one of my DDs early at 35 weeks.

In all probability you will be fine though.

BeanGirls · 29/12/2015 22:44

I'd drop off my dh and I'm pretty sure he'd drop me off too. Although you're not bu if you don't want to.

BathtimeFunkster · 29/12/2015 22:45

If money's so tight that he can't afford a tenner for a taxi, then neither can be afford all the tenners he'll be spending on booze.

If he's particularly set on arriving in his own car he can always drive there himself.

IvyWall · 29/12/2015 22:45

If money is not an issue, taxi

I wouldn't want to drag two kids out at that time for the sake of £10

MrsGradyOldLady · 29/12/2015 22:48

16 mile trip where I live would be 40 minutes. To save a tenner? Not a chance.

ingeniousidiot · 29/12/2015 22:49

If 7pm is bedtime, then can you drop him earlier, or could he go to his friends house? He's probably just trying to save a bit of money. We always drop off then taxi back - the boys used to find it quite exciting to get all ready for bed, then do the drop off and straight to bed on return.

inlovewithhubby · 29/12/2015 22:52

I'm with you completely op. One of my babies came 4 weeks early, in no small part due to heavy lifting and doing too much. Not saying pregnancy is ordinarily an illness but at 7pm, 8 months pregnant, with two small children to get to bed single handedly, and unlikely to have sat down all day, it's a shame he didn't suggest the taxi himself. Feel no guilt at making yourself and all your babies a priority over his convenience on his (reasonable) night out.

Maryz · 29/12/2015 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inlovewithhubby · 29/12/2015 22:57

Isn't AIBU exactly for that purpose maryz, ranting? You vent your spleen, you work it through, you're less pissed off when hubby then walks through the door.

Krampus · 29/12/2015 22:58

As a general rule I would and my husband would do for me, it would be for a specia occasion and not something that we regularly demand from each other. Years ago we would take into account what mood the kids were in, if they were going through a stage where a stricter routine was helping avoid melt downs.

Heavily pregnant with two young children? He can ask but you can say no without feeling guilty.

MoMoTy · 29/12/2015 22:59

Yanbu, you are 8months pregnant and he thinks it's ok to expect this from you. Let him sort himself out

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2015 23:00

It's worth the £10 to stay home in comfort.

If the situation was reversed her DH wouldn't be pregnant so the situations wouldn't be equal.

Hope he won't be out of it all day tomorrow...

Original poster
Fretful · 29/12/2015 23:07

Thanks again all, glad I 'vented' on here!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2015 23:07

I'm really amazed at the all the DHs who would give their DWs lifts with two kids in tow at 8 months pregnant.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/12/2015 23:08

Ex-posts with Nanny Grin