Why would someone replace my loo brush with a new one?

[FlameProofBoots]

I 'hosted' Christmas this year which actually meant my mother an sister used my (larger) house to host the day. They did all the cooking and my mother did lots of bits of cleaning on Christmas Eve while they were prepping the food, to 'bring it up to standard'. She deep cleaned the inside of my fridge and I assume cleaned the downstairs loo as she was in there for ages.

Anyway, I assume she found my loo brush lacking as she has swapped my green (which matches the decor) one for a nasty cheap plastic black one. And hasn't said a word to me about it.

I had specifically cleaned the whole house before their arrival and said to my mum not to do any cleaning because me and dh find it upsetting.

I absolutely promise we do not live in squalor. It's just that my mum has ridiculous standards. I can't imagine how the loo could have been any cleaner than how I'd left it though.

What's pissed me off the most though is that she must have planned to chuck my loo brush, hence bringing a new one with her. My loo brush was barely used as I prefer to use a cloth, dh prefers a brush though. It was only a couple of months old.

AIBU to be incredibly upset and offended by this? I'm mortified actually and need to bring it up with her but she will just turn it around on me and say the old one was minging and I'm a slattern.

I have often replaced the loo brushes of the houses where i look after the children... simple desire for hygiene at a higher level.

oooh peppie could you be any more snarky?

She should have just popped it in the dishwasher on a hot wash while she was cleaning the rest of the house. Job done. No one would have known then.

'I'm tempted to go and replace hers and not say anything.'**
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Do it. With the tag she left you. Wrapped up in a bow.
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Peppie has to be joking. I wouldn't trust someone who stole from me to look after my children!

It sounds like the OP's mum is a Mumsnetter. The black loo brush that has appeared sounds like the Ikea 40p one that many Mumsnetters regard as disposable and replace weekly, after buying in industrial quantities.

OP, next time you visit your mum, check her cupboards for her loo brush stash.

I have just read your post out to a visiting friend (she's an MNer, I'm not that weird), and she has been telling me about the time her MIL performed an impromptu clean of her BEDROOM .

The nipple clamps and the dildo had been moved from under her son's side of the bed, and eventually resurfaced in a cupboard.

But ABe must be joking as well??
Put a shitty loo brush in where I put my dishes - not a chance in hell.
Makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

I've learnt through bitter experience to hide the loo brush when we have visitors because it was once left caked with shit!. Now we have those disposable toilet brush/duck things next to each loo, and I keep my brush elsewhere with the domestos and other cleaning fluids for when I do a bigger clean.

YANBU to be offended by this. My mum once announced to all and sundry how she had just cleaned our loo because it was a state it wasn't so next time she visited I didn't bother cleaning beforehand.

Definitely take the loo brush back to hers. I wouldn't have the guts to throw out her loo brush, maybe just hide it at the back of a wardrobe and replace with the cheap one.

BOF

She's got a fetish about loo brushes and has taken yours home with her?
Maybe she just thought you needed a new one and had got them on a BOGOF deal so brought you the spare.

Why were you hosting and not doing any of the cooking?

I'd let the cleaning itself go, my mum was the same way. She actually thought of cleaning (and feeding us) as showing us that she loved us. She had a hard time saying I love you, so she showed it in those ways. She didn't look on the cleaning as criticizing my housekeeping, but as doing something she felt that, as a working mum, I didn't have time to do.

I would ask her what she did with my loo brush though.

Why were you hosting and not doing any of the cooking?
I did this in my old house because I had the biggest house with the most amount of sleeping places.
My dad and my BIL love to cook so I'd do some prep and they would do all the cooking.
Worked perfectly well.

They were cooking because they always do their own Christmas. Due to family dynamics this year it was impractical to have it at either of their houses so I offered to do it, they said that was fine but they wanted to do the cooking.

Well the only way to find out why is to ask the person who did it!

Ask her where it is & if she has chucked it tell her to replace it!

And take the black one back as you don't like it & if you wanted a black bog brush then thatis what you would have!

BitOfFun I leave my dildos on the bedside table. It ensures my gran stays out of my room. She thinks I'm a heathen and some gawd awful sex crazed pagan witch for owning one. She's CoE with very weird ideas and wont even visit stonehenge or any of the other henges tbh and said I'm inviting the devil in by going to the witchcraft museum last visit to cornwall. I bought a pentacle and stuck it to the glass in my front door. I don't believe any of it ( find it all very fascinating though) but its funny as hell to see her squirm. It also stops her cleaning and fussing in my perfectly OK house.

She did all my laundry once but I had nowhere to dry it. She couldn't understand full laundry + 3 weeks of rain meant I'd only was a load every two days because thats how long it takes to dry on a rack. It ended up having that damp smell and a couple of my fave dresses ended up with horrid mildew marks I couldn't get off :(

Oh and there was the time she decided the trunk I keep my bath towels in was the 'wrong' place and put them in the chest of drawers took my winter coats out of the hanging bags, folded them in the trunk that were in moth resistant bags having been dry cleaned and ended up ruining one because of... moths. She hung all my tops in the wardrobe too.

This is why I don't invite people to stay and why I live in a 2-bed house. Fecking people!

To answer. Nope, I'd be very pissed off too. Its not just a loo brush its implying you and your possessions are not good enough for them that you are putting them out by making them stay somewhere that's not good enough and that really fucking hurts.

That's just it. I thought I was doing the right thing by inviting them here but it turned out they wanted to change/clean my house to suit them and cook the food their way.

They didn't stay here, we all live locally. Next year I'm having Christmas at home with dh and the Dc and they can all do their own thing in their perfectly clean houses with their perfectly prepared food.

I have no issue with people cooking when they visit as long as the clean up their mess after and bring enough to feed me too. It's rude if they cook just for themselves. It's a very big no no here. I even find it quiet rude a vegan friend brings a homemade ready meal because she can't trust me to cook vegan. I can and I have to prove a point.

Everything else though, it's just bad manners. You don't throw away other people's possessions. If there is something wrong with it you show them, be polite. If they broke it offer to replace it. No way in hell should you make them feel rubbish though.

Ask her if she's seen your toilet brush as you'd sellotaped your winning lottery ticket for 3.5 million to it to hide it from robbers till you could go and claim it.

If she claims she couldn't see it in the loo brush sniff haughtily and say "I'm not surprised mother, you also couldn't see my bathroom was already spotless either".

Then punch her in the tit.

Lol honey

Yes just ask her! Because I need to know.

honeydragon you sucked me right into that little fantasy scenario just then

OP- just ask your mum what the hell she was playing at.