Am I being ungrateful?

[MerryDickCrack]

My mother is staying. She's just stormed off to bed after I said that I don't like getting cheques for birthdays and Xmas and would prefer a gift with some thought even for a far less value.
Backstory, I got a cheque for my 40th birthday. A lot of money - £500 - but my exp had asked her to chip in instead with his gift, which was very generous (in hindsight it was guilt driven over ow). She refused insisting she had her own gift. It was a cheque. Nothing to open.
Every other birthday it's a cheque for £50. Xmas she gives me money to cover what I need to buy, in past it's been a tumble dryer, a dressing table, etc.
I'm a single parent. Dcs too small to buy me anything. I have a few lovely friends who get me bits to open but essentially I never get an actual gift which has required thought from anyone anymore and it hurts. Makes me feel worthless.
Despite working ft and being a single parent and running around most weekends for dm who complains if I don't that she is lonely and bored, this year and last few she's even given me money to get dcs gifts from her.
I am feeling upset...

Because others feel they are more hard done by than you - does not make you unreasonable OP.

I think your Mum probably believed giving you cash was the right thing (as many have said) - and is probably genuinely a bit hurt to find that for you, it didn't feel like that. Am sure the both of you are struggling in different ways.

I have nothing but respect for working full time and being a single parent. Hang on to the relationship with your Mum and I hope you can both work through it and come out the other side with understanding of how you are both feeling. I am sure there is love there on both sides - so just got to communicate.

Wish my first ever post was a trifle more positive really - staggered by some posters complete lack of empathy.

xx

It's not about others being more hard done by, it is about your expectations and OP is BU

It is not what gift giving is about