Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To be lonely

15 replies

weightofthestars · 28/12/2015 23:00

I don't feel up to a relationship but weirdly crave one at the same time.

I know that's stupidly unreasonable - but anyone else? :)

OP posts:

ConceptOfBiscuits · 28/12/2015 23:50

I do not relate to your post sorry, hopefully this little bump might bring another along who does, did not want to see it drop to the bottom especially because of the content.
for you.

Salemthecat · 28/12/2015 23:57

I know exactly how you feel OP. I feel quite similar just now.

I would love a relationship but I know that I'm not really in the right emotional place to find a good one. That doesn't mean I don't miss someone to cuddle into, someone to do things with, someone to text.

I know that right now though I'd be picking someone just because I'm lonely (or they'd be picking me because they could see I was vulnerable) and that's not the sort of relationship I want.

I don't know what the answer is though. Hopefully someone will come alone with more useful advice for you.

Oldisthenewblack · 29/12/2015 00:20

If you're stupidly unreasonable then so am I. I feel very similar. Totally in the wrong place for a relationship, I'd be tearing my hair out within a week with the pressure but still....it'd be nice to have someone 'special' to text, someone to connect with, someone to hold hands with over a coffee. They'd have to sod off at bedtime though as I'm not giving up my diagonal mattress manoeuvre for anyone.....

Salemthecat · 29/12/2015 00:24

Haha old I have no idea how I'll share my bed with someone again. I've turned into such a cover hog!

abbsismyhero · 29/12/2015 00:37

yes i want a cuddle but i love having my bed to myself it might be nice to ask someone to pass me something and them be tall enough to do so without dragging a chair across the room (dd she is keen but short and never lifts the chair scraaaaaap groooooooan across the floor) someone to tell good/bad news to someone to talk to about random shit a (dare i say it) grown up?

FlatOnTheHill · 29/12/2015 00:39

Ive been single for a few years. Through choice. I feel very lonely at times if ds at his dads. Plus all my friends have husbands so not always free. I get where you are coming from. How old are you

Mmmmcake123 · 29/12/2015 00:43

It's not really of any help but don't forget you're not completely alone whilst posting on mn!

Original poster

weightofthestars · 29/12/2015 07:25

Thank you :)

Reading this as I wake up, I'm a bit - that was very self pitying! Im 35.

OP posts:

Wheretheresawill1 · 29/12/2015 07:34

I need someone. I know emotionally I push everyone away. I'm too broken

Wheretheresawill1 · 29/12/2015 07:34

I do however feel things can change

Eebahgum · 29/12/2015 08:32

I think we underestimate the power of physical contact from another human being. I think many people need it and without it, there is a negative impact on their emotional state. I was single for a long time before dp & used to wish there was somewhere I could go (paid if necessary!) to just get a big hug. Hope you feel better soon op.

thecatsarecrazy · 29/12/2015 08:52

I'm the same but not in looking for a relationship as I'm married but friendship.
I feel down about having no friends but if I do have one I find it hard work.

inlovewithhubby · 29/12/2015 09:01

I don't think yabu op and think you seem very sensible and strong. Craving company and partnership is a very normal human emotion but being emotionally mature enough to realise you aren't in a place to be a great partner is quite an enlightened state. Not sure I was quite so self aware before meeting OH. Christmas is a magnifier of all emotions, we're conditioned to think that everyone with family, partners etc is blissfully happy, but rest assured this isn't true either OP! But you are definitely not being unreasonable.

Foslady · 29/12/2015 10:30

I could have typed your post OP. All I want is someone to hold me when the chips are down and say 'it'll be ok', someone other than dd to be glad I'm alive.

Don't feel as if I've ever had that.

TiredButFineODFOJ · 29/12/2015 11:33

I'm single and sometimes I just want someone to hug/look after me for a bit. Imthink it's natural, but I think like me you know you are not in the right place and would pick the wrong person for the wrong reasons right now. I find a quick browse of any "women's magazine" helps with a story like "he shagged my best mate as I gave birth" helps!
Having a good friend helps too, occasionally me and another friend will cook for each other if one of us is down, or stressed.

Flip