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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this woman was rude for swearing and barging by me?

175 replies

thelifeofamber · 28/12/2015 18:09

People queuing up to go down the escalator, I checked my phone but the queue moved much faster than I thought.

I stopped at the top to put my phone back and the woman behind muttered for fuck sake and barged by me and went down the escalator.

I was wrong to hold her up but surely she didn't have to be that rude?

OP posts:
PollyGone · 28/12/2015 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ghostspirit · 28/12/2015 22:25

was it a shove? because if op stopped suddenly at top of an escalator instead of stepping forward. the person behinde may have bumped into her rather than shoved.

angelos02 · 28/12/2015 22:37

Why the fuck did you pick the most dangerous area to put your phone away? Shouldn't you have someone to look after you if you can't identify such hazards?

MidniteScribbler · 28/12/2015 23:14

Just reading the OP's post makes me want to say 'fucksakes'.

"AIBU?"
"Yes"
"No I'm not"
"Yes, you are."
"No I'm not, and I'm going to draw you a diagram to prove it."
"FFS!"

lorelei9 · 28/12/2015 23:49

Grunt, I felt sorry for her, I saw that when it came out. I guess it seems a bit different in a quiet looking space than the people I see doing it in hideously crowded London streets.

I was impressed with how fast she recovered.

Original poster
thelifeofamber · 28/12/2015 23:51

"Yes, you are."
"No I'm not, and I'm going to draw you a diagram to prove it."
"FFS!"

I didn't draw the diagram to prove I was right Confused

I obviously drew it to demonstrate what happened as people assumed I'd stood at the top of a moving escalator and caused a massive pile up.

I also haven't disputed and said I was definitely in the right.

I was in the wrong to hold her up .... but I disagree that it was an extremely dangerous situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
thelifeofamber · 28/12/2015 23:53

I'm not sure what Polly said but the fact that it got deleted seems the reaction to this thread is extreme and unnecessary.

I've not hit back at being name called, had people say they want to physically hurt me or because I accidentally put "myself" instead of me and two people couldn't wait to jump on that.

I'm not disputing what I did was selfish and stupid/ditsy ... I was asking if her reaction to the situation was ott.

OP posts:
lorelei9 · 29/12/2015 00:02

Lifeof, I've been perfectly polite.
So I hope you will consider my polite request to be more careful re escalators. If you don't get why it's dangerous, please just take it on board.

SevenOfNineTrue · 29/12/2015 00:06

Some woman did something similar to me today. In a shopping centre we moved to go to a store on the other side of the walkway and some woman sighed and said 'Jesus' at us. She was nowhere near us when we changed direction but clearly as we walked we were in her 'path'. If we'd seen her hurrying along we would have let her go past as we were just shopping and in no hurry.

I wanted to have a few chosen words with her but it is not worth it for people like that.

Katarzyna79 · 29/12/2015 00:10

you were in the way and a little rude but the other persons behaviour was unacceptable.

I think its a city syndrome. The busier/bigger the city the more inhuman certain people become. ie no eye contact, no time for a hello, or a smile, free reign to use bad language over the slightest thing, a generally selfish attitude.

I'm in a small city but living in a semi rural area, maybe I'm getting old but I prefer the country I always have, hate the city. It does have its advantages though especially with young kids.

Brewdolph · 29/12/2015 21:28

Op I have seen a woman after she had fallen down an escalator, it wasn't busy, she wasn't pushed, she lost her footing while rooting in a handbag. If it were busy it might have saved her face what was left of it. Full attention is required while using escalators.

Put the phone away and pay attention for your own faces sake.

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 19:23

People were queuing behind her and I'm sure that meant there was a general forward momentum because they would expect everyone ahead of them in the queue to step onto the escalator as soon as they reached it. In fact you said the queue was moving faster than you expected it to. By stopping unexpectedly you put her in difficulties because there would be people pushing behind her. It's hardly surprising that she swore to herself and pushed by you, I can't see anything OTT about that.

TouchingToes · 30/12/2015 20:38

I work in south Kensington and honestly I know I'll get slain for this on MN but it's the parents and kids who are the worst, walking down the tunnel in a long line so you haven't got any room to get past them (no issue with slow walkers as long as they are aware others may wish to have space to walk past them), unable to comprehend how ticket barriers work, complaining about 'commuters' (who have no choice but to be there at rush hour) and just generally being a PITA.

Wow, breathtaking sense of entitlement.

The underground and in fact, the city itself, belongs to all users, not just those who work or are adults or in a rush. You might want to revisit that concept of sharing that is taught in preschool.

grannytomine · 30/12/2015 21:05

I saw a pile up on an escalator, it was 40 years ago and still upsets me if I think about it, blood, screaming etc. I would be worried about you standing at the top of a busy escalator fiddling with your phone but maybe I am over anxious? I don't think I am.

Dipankrispaneven · 30/12/2015 21:09

Touching, surely the concept of sharing must include allowing enough room for people in a hurry to get past, and not blocking the ticket barriers?

confusedbumbo · 30/12/2015 22:23

Touching how was that entitled? It was about selfishness, not complaining about parents and kids just for being there!!

confusedbumbo · 30/12/2015 22:25

If you want to walk slowly by all means do so but have some awareness that others may need to go faster, and leave them some space!

30 weeks pregnant with sciatica btw so am currently one of the slow walkers.

MultishirkingAgain · 31/12/2015 09:15

I stopped at the top to put my phone back and the woman behind muttered for fuck sake and barged by me and went down the escalator

You were rude first, and wrong, and behaving in a potentially dangerous way in pubic space.

I am constantly surprised at how unaware people are about their [ab]use of public space, but maybe that's because I'm middle-aged & apparently increasingly invisible. So I have to spend my time getting out of other people's ways.

Families and couples who would just melt if they couldn't all walk side by side or arm in arm across the pavement. Grrr

Walk nimble or walk narrow

MultishirkingAgain · 31/12/2015 09:16

public space

But YABU top complain about someone else's apparent rudeness, when you were the rude one.

HortonWho · 31/12/2015 09:25

i can't believe the number of people who think it's not rude to be stood atop an escalator and be physically blocking it - because you're arsing about with your phone!

Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.

If you don't want a rude comment, stop acting rude to those around you.

MultishirkingAgain · 31/12/2015 09:29

Oh but HortonWho a lot of people on MN also think that anyone who's in a hurry, or likes to walk quickly, or who considers commuting an evil that must just be endured, are all zombies, or career-minded people who don't skip around every day smelling the daisies or chasing butterflies.

I think there's probably a divide between posters who work in large cities and those who are tourists in them, or SAHP's who don't have the daily stress of such a commute, and can afford to be snooty about those of us who have places to go, meetings to attend, and have to navigate around inconsiderate idiots like the OP.

Justawaterformeplease · 31/12/2015 09:32

It's not that it's dangerous, it's just fucking annoying. You can always tell when a dawdler is on their phone - they walk about 30% slower with that lowered head. Stopping at all - for any reason - when there's a flow of people is rude. You should stand to the side if you can't do anything at a normal walking pace.

maybebabybee · 31/12/2015 09:34

Omg yes multi! What is that on here?! You're never allowed to be in a hurry or else you get sneered at for 'thinking your time is more important than anyone else's' Hmm

I hate my commute, but I like my job (not career minded at all) so it's a necessary evil. I'd just like to have a small amount of space to get round large family groups or groups of tourists who prefer to walk slower. Unfortunately on here that gets read as 'I think the city is only for adults'.

MultishirkingAgain · 31/12/2015 09:40

Simplest way to think about walking in crowded public places for everyone is:

Walk narrow, or walk nimble.

If you know you're slow, or you're looking for somewhere, or whatever - step to the side, "walk narrow". If you must hold your partner's/child's hand or you'll both melt walk quickly with the flow: "walk nimble"

This is funny:

New York Pedestrian Etiquette

And here's the gif:

bigappled.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/MiIOMwP.gif

NHKX2 · 31/12/2015 10:49

I would have done the same as her and probably shoulder-clocked you on my way deliberately. I can't stand people checking their phones/reading books in queues for the escalators. It's rude and dangerous and could cause a pile-up.

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