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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder about other generations

82 replies

blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 11:37

MIL (we aren't married but you know!) is staying.

She is in her fifties so not old yet is constantly complaining about how much we shower and wash our hair (once a day.)

She showers and washes her hair once a week.

She uses a washing up bowl, a flannel and soap on other days.

WHY? She isn't unwell, by the way.

OP posts:
Namechangedec15 · 28/12/2015 12:16

I think people shower too much. I had a housemate that would often have 3 a day.

I tend to just shower before work and after exercise.

I dry skin brush to help remove dead skin cells.

Birdsgottafly · 28/12/2015 12:17

""I do worry about energy wastage actually and wonder how the 2-Showers-A-Day people will manage when the inevitable happens and they start rationing power supplies ""

I use solar showers when camping/in other countries and they are efficient, so if we get to that point, they will be available.

Salmotrutta · 28/12/2015 12:19

Solar Power and Scotland are not happy bedfellows Birdsgottafly Grin.

Wind turbine maybe... Hmm

Original poster
blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 12:24

Don't worry Birds I am well aware MIL is ... One of a kind thankfully

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 28/12/2015 12:28

Solar power and scotland HA Grin

Notrevealingmyidentity · 28/12/2015 12:28

No it's just her. My parents are 70+ and shower/bath daily.

I have to say though some people seem to just be born older. I have relatives in their 80s who are "younger" than other relatives behaved in their 60s.

I also always forget my mum and my aunt are the same age as my mum appears south younger. Blush

TPel · 28/12/2015 12:29

I'm 50 and I shower at least once a day. I always have, from being a young child. My parents are the same, though DF can't do this on his own any more.
I don't think being over 50 makes any difference. Different people different habits.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 28/12/2015 12:29

I can't understand it. It's almost as though some people want to be old or just make up their minds to be.

I have other relatives yours age that run marathons or are flying around the world on business and generally behaving like they are 35.

It baffles me.

CoffeeCoffeeAndLotsOfIt · 28/12/2015 12:30

Gosh - she sounds like a terrible houseguest! Up to her on how often she showers - but going on at the family who is accommodating her is weird and quite frankly rude!

Notrevealingmyidentity · 28/12/2015 12:30

Your mums age*

NicoleWatterson · 28/12/2015 12:30

Mine does this, (in her 60's) it's just how she was taihht

NicoleWatterson · 28/12/2015 12:31

Oh damn autocorrect!!! Taught

Original poster
blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 12:31

Coffee, she's a strange woman - she lectures you rather than talks to you.

Even the most innocuous topic is turned into an opportunity for her to tell you the right way to do things.

OP posts:
absolutelynotfabulous · 28/12/2015 12:32

A bit off-piste, but I'm also a bit Shock at the way in which us "oldies" are regarded on here. I haven't changed since I was 30 (apart from being a bit creakier, fatter and wrinklier). I'm restarting a career, learning new skills and looking forward to the future. I can't retire until I'm 67!

There's definitely life in the old dog yetGrin.

Original poster
blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 12:34

I'm trying to understand her, absolutely, I know not all ladies in their fifties and beyond are like her :)

OP posts:
magimedi · 28/12/2015 12:37

Absolutely there is so much low level ageism, not just on MN.

Bunbaker · 28/12/2015 12:39

It isn't a generational thing. It isn't, it is your MIL's personal preference.

I am 57 and shower every day. It is true that when I was growing up houses didn't have showers. I only ever had a shower at the swimming pool or on holiday, but I had a bath every day instead.

I don't wash my hair every day as it is on the dry side and would look like a haystack if I did.

As long as your MIL doesn't smell or is dirty what business it it of yours how often she showers?

And leave off with this generational crap and ageist comments.

Original poster
blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 12:42

I have not made one ageist comment.

It is MIL going on about my showering preferences that prompted this thread.

OP posts:
IcecreamBus · 28/12/2015 12:43

I think it's interesting...my parents are in their seventies and shower every day, but an exes family only had a bath once a week. He really ponged at times and needless to say I didn't go out with him for very long.

RealHuman · 28/12/2015 12:45

My parents are 60, grew up with limited baths, and now shower every day and after exercise. I'm 30, grew up with baths whenever I wanted, and now don't have a shower in my house, so I have a bath 2 or 3 times a week. Hot water is expensive and my boiler is crap so takes 8 minutes to run a (fairly shallow) bath - I set it running, stick the timer on, and come back when it's run! In-between days I do a tits, pits and bits flannel wash at the sink.

I don't think it's universal that older people wash less.

Original poster
blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 12:48

I don't think anyone said it was, despite some posters being very keen to interpret comments like this.

But in trying to understand MIL, I'm trying to understand why a bucket of water and a flannel makes more sense to her than a quick shower, and why she sees daily showering and hair washing as something to be sneered at.

OP posts:
TenTinyTadpoles · 28/12/2015 12:50

That's what my grandmother used to do, the bowl, soap and flannel thing. I'm in my fifties and my parents are in their eighties, none of us do that; we all shower daily.

MrsJayy · 28/12/2015 12:50

Does she say why she just showers once a week?

Original poster
blueriverlavenderfield · 28/12/2015 12:51

No, it's clearly the best way though!

OP posts:
RealHuman · 28/12/2015 12:51

I didn't say you thought it was!

It must be irritating to be preached at in your own home for something that seems like normal behaviour to you. I do think people with showers forget what a faff it can be to bath daily and I've had some Hmm comments from people if I tell them I don't bath every day (though I know I don't smell).