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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to take her

68 replies

frenchie12 · 27/12/2015 19:36

DH, DD and I often head down the country for the day for a certain type of sporting event. Now DF's DD keeps pushing to come and she is very insistent saying how much she loves the type of event we go to. She has been asking non-stop if she can come next year. She is 20 years old.

Basically I don't know how to refuse and am wondering if AIBU. I love my family time and would prefer not to take her or anyone else for that matter.

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 27/12/2015 19:38

YANBU at all, if she loves it that much I'm sure she'll find a meet to go along to. Enjoy your day out with your family.

UndramaticPause · 27/12/2015 19:38

Suggest she goes with friends and say you're happy to meet for a hotdog and a cup of tea if you have time then turn the phone off.

theycallmemellojello · 27/12/2015 19:39

Is this a reverse? How is it not family time if it's your DH's DD? And if you go often it's not like this is your one opportunity to spend one on one quality time with your DD. And why do you get the final say on the guestlist rather than your DH? YABVU.

theycallmemellojello · 27/12/2015 19:40

Ohh sorry I misread this - it's your DF's DD - ie your half sister. Sorry, that changes things. YANBU, but it would be kind to take her.

SolsburyHell · 27/12/2015 19:40

I think it's her friends daughter.

NickNacks · 27/12/2015 19:41

It's a friend's child not her husband's if I'm reading currently?!

UndramaticPause · 27/12/2015 19:41

I read df to be a friends daughter

DartmoorDoughnut · 27/12/2015 19:42

Ditto, DF=friend I assume!

CakeNinja · 27/12/2015 19:42

Is it just a day? How old is your own dd?

theycallmemellojello · 27/12/2015 19:43

Ahh ok, yes, that makes more sense of the family only comment. Ignore me.

Original poster
frenchie12 · 27/12/2015 19:43

Yes, it's an old school friend's DD. DD is 12. Yes, it's just a day, about 3 times a year.

OP posts:
DoomGloomAndKaboom · 27/12/2015 19:44

Is DF a dear friend?

Say you love your family time and it's something you, dh and dd do together and you never take other people along.

the 20 year old needs to find someone else to go with or go on her own (if it's that sort of thing)

I don't think your reason is unreasonable but you'll continue to be pestered until you either give in or tell the 20 yo it's not going to happen and why.

pinkyredrose · 27/12/2015 19:48

I can't see why you wouldn't take her, pretty unfriendly not to. Do you not spend time as a family any other time?

Branleuse · 27/12/2015 19:49

DF - is that darling fiancé, darling father or darling friend??

Original poster
frenchie12 · 27/12/2015 19:50

It is not a close friend. I think I'm probably BU but I really don't know her DD all that well as we have only got in contact again recently. Maybe I'm just a stickler for family time as DH can be away for four days a week with his job

OP posts:
YouBastardSockBalls · 27/12/2015 19:50

Is it Olympia?

Shutthatdoor · 27/12/2015 19:50

I can't see why you wouldn't take her, pretty unfriendly not to. Do you not spend time as a family any other time?

I agree tbh. It isn't as if it is every week

SolsburyHell · 27/12/2015 19:54

Could you say you're not sure what your plans are for the next event and then in a few months time just go ahead with your own plans, it's a bit sneaky but maybe less likely to cause offence than a rejection.
Either that or have a quiet word with her mum.
Or just be honest and say sorry, it's a special thing for just the three of you.
Or you could be kind and take her (but you run the risk of then always having to do it).

LikeADivil · 27/12/2015 19:55

Enough of the DF shit!
Just spell the word!

I'm sick of trying to decipher posts with all these DSID DSAIOSD ADPIOU SADFJDBU SHIT!

And - yes - you are being unreasonable. 'Family' time irritates me. What is wrong with other people?

Family time my arse - you just don't want to take the girl with you. Just say that! Don't try to cover up your arseholery by disguising it as a desire for 'family' time.

SolsburyHell · 27/12/2015 19:56

And breathe...

Yourface · 27/12/2015 19:56

Fox hunting?

SolsburyHell · 27/12/2015 19:57

I thought fox hunting.

BastardGoDarkly · 27/12/2015 19:58

Bloody hell divil chill!

Op, YANBU at all, just tell her.

BastardGoDarkly · 27/12/2015 19:59

Oh it's not fox hunting is it?!

MelanieCheeks · 27/12/2015 20:00

3 times a year? Tell me you have more family time than that! Could this young person come with you one of those times?

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