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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU not to take her

68 replies

frenchie12 · 27/12/2015 19:36

DH, DD and I often head down the country for the day for a certain type of sporting event. Now DF's DD keeps pushing to come and she is very insistent saying how much she loves the type of event we go to. She has been asking non-stop if she can come next year. She is 20 years old.

Basically I don't know how to refuse and am wondering if AIBU. I love my family time and would prefer not to take her or anyone else for that matter.

OP posts:

MetalPetal86 · 27/12/2015 20:34

Haha. Football's not a blood sport ..usually..

lorelei9 · 27/12/2015 20:35

metal "Love it divil. I'm with you about the abbreviations - it's all ridiculously twee as well as being incomprehensible"

IKR?!!

seriously, OP, now I think even more that you should be totally unselfconscious about saying no. Some things just are for the clique, I'm afraid. It's like I have a couple of days out each year with a particular friend, if someone wanted to join us we'd say "sorry, this is our time, maybe another time". People have special days they spend with each other apart from fecking Christmas

UndramaticPause · 27/12/2015 20:36

She didn't say it was in the country.

She said down the country.

Which I took to mean op is a northerner.

Penfold007 · 27/12/2015 20:40

No is complete sentence. Interesting that some read fox hunting as I though point to point.

CFSsucks · 27/12/2015 21:36

YANBU, when I go away to do something with my family, I am going because I want to spend time with them. Not everyone is the more the merrier types and in fact they annoy me as they seem to think the world and his wife should be welcome to anything.

Just ignore the hints. At 20 she is old enough to sort this out for herself if she loves it that much.

Thornrose · 27/12/2015 21:45

Why so cryptic OP. Why not just say football? It's almost like you wanted everyone to think it was hunting!

RoseWithoutAThorn · 27/12/2015 21:54

Just say no. I used to get this all the time with DDs friends wanting to come if we were going to equine events.

DinosaursRoar · 27/12/2015 22:07

YANBU - finding something you have in common with your 12 year old, a tradition of going together to this thing, it being something you can carry on when she's an adult. Your friend could take her DD herself. Or at 20, she can get her own way there. It's ok to not want to change a little tradition you have with DD for your friend's daughter.

Crispbutty · 27/12/2015 22:54

I'm still trying to work out how anyone thought it could be hunting

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/12/2015 23:15

What self-respecting 20-year-old needs her mum's old school friend (that she doesn't really know) to take her to the football ? When her her mum's old school friend (that she doesn't really know) normally goes with her husband (that she doesn't really know) and 12 year old daughter (that she doesn't really know) ?

And yet she "keeps pushing to come and she is very insistent saying how much she loves the type of event we go to. She has been asking non-stop if she can come next year."

No, I wouldn't be wanting to take her. I wouldn't be wanting to be that near her at all.

nagsandovalballs · 27/12/2015 23:17

Because there is a ranty, nasty, vicious on both sides (as it always is) pseudo debate taking place on a thread, in which neither side will ever be convinced of the other's point of view, so it isn't so much a debate as a series of counter factual points and examples with side orders of insults and disparagement. It has made everyone hyper sensitive so that they read north to south "down the country" as "to the country(side)".

nagsandovalballs · 27/12/2015 23:19

Sorry, should have said, hunting/ antihunting thread...

G1veMeStrength · 27/12/2015 23:29

DH works shit shifts and I have learnt to have no qualms about saying 'no offence but it's strictly a family tradition for us'. People who get every weekend off together don't always understand how precious a weekend is when you only get them every couple of months. Take out an annual holiday, a weekend full of birthday parties, one written off to illness, Mother's/Fathers Day/Easter, your friends wedding, an attempt to cram in spring clean-DIY-garden blitz and all of a sudden taking someone else on your family trip seems utterly unbearable!!!

amarmai · 27/12/2015 23:47

you have the right to decline and your df shd put a stop to the demands. her d is v entitled.

Andylion · 28/12/2015 01:07

She's 20, old enough to get herself to a football match. Does her mum know that she is asking to go?

LikeADivil · 28/12/2015 07:01

Who the hell describes a football match as a sporting event?
And who the hell goes 'down the country' to a match?
This is no more about football than it is about abbreviations.

Dipankrispaneven · 28/12/2015 07:58

I really don't understand this. If it's a particular football team, it's highly unlikely that they play only three times a year, and if the 20 year old is that mad on football there is a massive choice of matches she can go to by herself or with friends, she doesn't have to keep pestering her mother's friend to take her. That still applies even if it's something slightly unusual like women's football.

CaurnieBred · 28/12/2015 08:10

Wembley/England? And OP says they only go a few times a year. The team may play more often.

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