Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to take her

68 replies

frenchie12 · 27/12/2015 19:36

DH, DD and I often head down the country for the day for a certain type of sporting event. Now DF's DD keeps pushing to come and she is very insistent saying how much she loves the type of event we go to. She has been asking non-stop if she can come next year. She is 20 years old.

Basically I don't know how to refuse and am wondering if AIBU. I love my family time and would prefer not to take her or anyone else for that matter.

OP posts:
LikeADivil · 27/12/2015 20:00

But the 'dear' or 'darling' husband/Hubert/Hybrid/Humphrey works away from home 4 days a week SOMETIMES!
Family time is very dear.

Unless you're Kate Middleton, STFU.

Harrumph!!!

Yourface · 27/12/2015 20:01

It's defo fox hunting bastard and you've just told her take the girl. So basically if the df's dd kills the fox, then you've killed it by proxy.

gleam · 27/12/2015 20:02

Girl? She's 20!

MrsDeVere · 27/12/2015 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BastardGoDarkly · 27/12/2015 20:04
Grin

I thought it was banned?!

LikeADivil · 27/12/2015 20:04

Sorry - I'm just on a short fuse today with reading these frankly unneccessary abbreviations or whatever they are. For fuck's sake!

My father. My DF. At other times, my DF is my fiancée... Jesus Christ is it that difficult to spell one word when you can write an entire paragraph!!!!!!

Can't stand this nonsense.

Dipankrispaneven · 27/12/2015 20:06

If she's 20 and loves this event, surely she can get herself there? Unless of course she needs a horse box?

LikeADivil · 27/12/2015 20:10

Today, I was reading about a 'person' who had done something wrong. I have come to accept that SIL meant sister-in-law. As the story unfolded and my confusion eased, it became apparent that SIL can also denote son-in-fucking-law. In the same fucking post!

I want to read. I want to interact with people. I don't want to have to endeavour to decipher unintelligible shite before trying to respond.

LikeADivil · 27/12/2015 20:12

Oh - and in response to your unintelligible post - yes - you are being very mean and uncharitable.

Yourface · 27/12/2015 20:15

Look divil if you only had quality family time 3 X's per year and that was spent either blowing a deer's brains out or setting your dog's brer fox, you'd hardly be bothered spelling the full title it either.

Yourface · 27/12/2015 20:15

out not it.

hefzi · 27/12/2015 20:16

If it's hunting, YABVU - you should always go out of your way to facilitate other people being exposed to the opportunity to see hunting for themselves

It really depends, though, what it is: if it's badger-baiting, YANBU - after all, who wants to put their friend's child at risk of being arrested? If it's Windsor Horse Show or some kind of eventing/point-to-point etc, surely you could let her come once? It needn't become a regular thing unless you want it to.

If it's a day shooting or fishing, it depends: some of these have huge coasts associated, in which case, YANBU not to want to pay £1500 for someone to have a peg on a tame bird driven game shoot, or to give up a space on a beat on the Test, but if it's rough shooting on your parents' farm, then YABBU.

It's all in the event, I'm afraid. And a country attitude is usually inclusive of others, no matter what the event, so really, you are pretty much BU in almost any situation!

thelaundryfairy · 27/12/2015 20:18

If you don´t want your friend´s daughter to come, then tell her so. Perhaps you could let her know how to book tickets or arrange transport etc. to attend a similar event by herself.

lorelei9 · 27/12/2015 20:27

LikeaDivil - that made me lol and I know what you mean! Grin

OP, the other version of this is - you've been asked to take someone you don't know much at all on a family day out and you'd rather not. So don't. It doesn't even need to be awkward; if it's a special thing, then say so. I get that it can be hard when it's a particular activity but a 20 year old could go alone or find some sort of group doing the same thing?

lorelei9 · 27/12/2015 20:28

I should clarify - when I say "it doesn't need to be awkward" - it's not like it's your best mate's daughter and you see her all the time, she accompanies you to other things and you have to think up a special excuse.

Original poster
frenchie12 · 27/12/2015 20:31

No it's not Olympia or Foxhunting. It's football :)

OP posts:
GabiSolis · 27/12/2015 20:32

Maybe take her for a one off? I think the family time thing is also a bit of an excuse tbh. You should just admit you don't want to take her full stop.

TheoriginalLEM · 27/12/2015 20:32

i thought fox hunting tooSad

eastwest · 27/12/2015 20:32

Sporting events that take place in the countryside, apart from fox hunting:
Off-road vehicle driving (rally/ 4WD)
Horse racing
Sheep-dog trials
Golf
Rock climbing
Kayaking/ white water rafting

There are probably more.

To answer the question -she's 20. She can find a relevant club and make her own way there if she wants to. You don't have to take her if you don't want to.

MetalPetal86 · 27/12/2015 20:33

Love it divil. I'm with you about the abbreviations - it's all ridiculously twee as well as being incomprehensible.

Also agree about this 'family time' thing. Annoying. Sorry op - just be honest with her.

If it is fox hunting then go for it. I always think a good day out with the kids is never the same without some good old bloods ports thrown in. Lovely old country pursuits...mustn't let them die out...hrumph

TheoriginalLEM · 27/12/2015 20:33

ah phew - youjust gone back up in my estimation op

eastwest · 27/12/2015 20:33

Football! I wouldn't have guessed that! :)

maddening · 27/12/2015 20:33

She is 20, she can arrange her own footballing events - no reason for her to impose on someone her mum knows and that she herself does not know very well.

hefzi · 27/12/2015 20:33

Football? YANBU - why would you want to inflict that one anyone Grin?

SinglePringle · 27/12/2015 20:34

YABU for using the awful term 'family time'. I seriously hate the term & all it implies.

More the merrier I say.