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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About this crappy Christmas present?

66 replies

Mrswinkler · 26/12/2015 11:59

Another moany thread....

Ok, so from my elderly dad and and his wife I got..... A diary.

Feel grabby moaning about it.I'd rather they just not bother buying me anything. This is after years of shit presents at Christmas. It was my mum who bought presents when she was alive, my dad has handed this task over to his wife who has probably got to the stage where she can't be bothered buying anything. She'll make a point of saying that my dad chose something for me when all she's probably done is hold two things up and say which one shall we give Mrswinkler.....

Yes, I miss my mum and yes, I don't have the best relationship with his wife and I'm sad my dad's health is deteriorating now so that in my contact with them it's her I have to deal with most of the time rather than my dad. I got £50 in a card from my ex's DM this year, she has hardly anything compared to my dad and his wife and I really appreciate her thinking of me, she's always bought thoughtful presents, but now prefers cash as she can't get out to shop. It's not about money though just about the thought (or lack of it) when selecting gifts.

I want to say just don't bother with presents in future. AIBU? I'd actually like to ask what she bought her own daughter (my age) bet it wasn't a lousy diary. She wasn't in when I rang to wish them happy Christmas, just spoke to my dad, so I'll have to say 'thanks' at some point. Do I make a point about how I feel or just leave it?

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 26/12/2015 12:02

YABU, grabby and rather childish.

Grilledaubergines · 26/12/2015 12:03

Leave it. Maybe they don't see gifts as important and just wanted to make an acknowledgment.

Think how you'd feel if you bought someone be a token gift and the recipient told you not to bother in future. Shit I'd imagine.

GreatFuckability · 26/12/2015 12:04

How is money more thoughtful than a diary?
Its not, is it?

bornwithaplasticspoon · 26/12/2015 12:05

Are you a grown up?

JustAnotherOP · 26/12/2015 12:07

Leave it. If you say anything you'll create a bad feeling and she might just write you off as being moany and grabby. Yanbu to miss your DM but you'd be unreasonable to start comparing gifts with her daughter.

awfullyproper · 26/12/2015 12:07

How old are you?

NerrSnerr · 26/12/2015 12:09

What is wrong with a diary? Is it because it wasn't more of an expensive present? I really don't see a problem with it- you sound really spoilt.

Original poster
Mrswinkler · 26/12/2015 12:09

I'll agree I seem childish, she has a way of bringing it out of me unfortunately.

OP posts:
MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 26/12/2015 12:12

If her daughter got the same as you how would you feel? Still the same way?

Families eh!

flippinada · 26/12/2015 12:12

What horrible comments. I get where you're coming from Mrs - it's about your Dad not bothering. It hurts, even when you're an adult.

GloriaHotcakes · 26/12/2015 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mrswinkler · 26/12/2015 12:13

No, not the money, not at all. Just had a shit year, she's not exactly helped and it just makes me feel they don't really care. I've loads of interests that would warrant a cheap thoughtful gift, gardening for example. It's not rocket science.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrswinkler · 26/12/2015 12:14

Thanks flippinada

OP posts:
gleam · 26/12/2015 12:17

Actually, if your step-mum is making the point that your Dad chose the presents, I'd believe her - why not believe her? She may want to buy something more suited to you.

It seems to me that it's your Dad who's not interested in present buying.
But you don't want to accept that.

HermioneWeasley · 26/12/2015 12:20

I get that it's hurtful, but it isn't his wife's job to buy your presents. If your dad doesn't care enough to do it, it's him you should be resentful of.

Sorry you are disappointed.

flippinada · 26/12/2015 12:21

No worries. I really do get it - my Dad is like this too Flowers.

Masterpiece1 · 26/12/2015 12:26

Get over it. Worse things have happened.

Original poster
Mrswinkler · 26/12/2015 12:27

He's old, just diagnosed with vascular dementia now and presents not really top of his list, as it were...

OP posts:
Buttons23 · 26/12/2015 12:29

Threads like this annoy me, I lost my dad when I was 10 to cancer. You want to give yourself a shake. You have said he is elderly and that he is not in the best health. Why not enjoy your time with your dad. So you only got a diary, it's not a big deal!

Buttons23 · 26/12/2015 12:30

Also if you dad is ill, his wife probably has more on her mind as well.

Stanky · 26/12/2015 12:34

Just ask them, if they are kind enough to consider buying you a gift, to donate the money they would have spent to charity next year. Enjoy spending Christmas with your family while you still can.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/12/2015 12:41

Will you cash the £50 cheque from your ex mother in law who has considerably less than your father?

Bakeoffcake · 26/12/2015 12:41

I can understand you miss your mum, but if your dad is ill and old I really don't know why you'd worry about them not making a lot of effort choosing presents.

just leave it.

RamblingRedRose · 26/12/2015 12:42

Mrswinkler Sat 26-Dec-15 12:27:18
He's old, just diagnosed with vascular dementia now and presents not really top of his list, as it were...

And yet you are complaining about the shit Christmas present they got you? Really, what is wrong with you?

catfordbetty · 26/12/2015 12:50

He's old, just diagnosed with vascular dementia now and presents not really top of his list, as it were...

And not top of his wife's list either, I would think.