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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving in graveyards

29 replies

Littleallovertheshop · 25/12/2015 18:56

Passed by the cemetery today, and it was full of cars, many parked on grassy patches. I always thought you were meant to park nearby and walk - it just seems v disrespectful to drive through. Unless you've mobility restrictions AIBU to think you should Park and walk to the graveside (unless you're driving a hearse)? There's a massive car park right next to this one.

OP posts:
B33rTricksPott3r · 25/12/2015 18:57

Were they actually parked on graves?

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 25/12/2015 19:04

Was it raining? That would determine my response.

UndramaticPause · 25/12/2015 19:48

Our local cemetery is a single track Road through it and is one way only. Hearses only here.

Fidelia · 25/12/2015 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Littleallovertheshop · 25/12/2015 20:08

Wasn't raining, not sure if on graves. It's def not ok to park (or walk?) on a grave...

OP posts:
B33rTricksPott3r · 25/12/2015 20:09

No, certainly not. But to park on a grass verge, while inconsiderate, is not as bad as parking on a grave.

Original poster
Littleallovertheshop · 25/12/2015 20:10

To clarify, there is a single track through the circular Graveyard. It's clearly visible from the road and people are driving to the specific grave and parking up on said single track within the graveyard.

OP posts:
MrsLeighHalfpenny · 25/12/2015 20:24

I don't think it's a big deal as a one off. Trouble is, if one does it everyone will do it, then it will be mayhem.

LindyHemming · 25/12/2015 20:25

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

silverduck · 25/12/2015 20:54

Also the norm where my GPs are, warden person told us to do it when we asked where to park.

wigglesrock · 25/12/2015 22:11

Normal where I am. There's a one way road around it with a few parking bays dotted around but most cars pull up on the nearest verge to the grave they are visiting.

Fuckitfay · 25/12/2015 22:14

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 25/12/2015 22:22

The toddler has a nasty habit of grabbing things off other people's graves.....!

I'm sure you tell him off but my mum and dad would forgive your toddler for nabbing a pretty flower off their grave Smile

Crazybaglady · 25/12/2015 22:22

I went to a Graveyard in (i think) Hackney once (the one where Damilola Taylor is buried) and you drove in there, it's humumgous though. So would assume it depends on the graveyard?

Mmmmcake123 · 25/12/2015 22:27

On days like mother's day and Xmas are there still places available in the nearby car park?

nocabbageinmyeye · 25/12/2015 22:32

On a day like today I would have said it was unusual as it tends to be busier around Christmas but the caretaker at our graveyard told my mam and aunts to drive in when they are on their own for security, alas graveyards can have a lot of muggings happen in them so it's safer

Callaird · 25/12/2015 22:36

My parents drive up to my brothers grave as the don't get there very often, 3 times a year maybe so take new plants, gardening tools to tidy the grave up, sometimes chairs to sit and have a chat with him (both 70 and cannot get up off the ground anymore) sometimes even a picnic. There is no off-road parking near the cemetery and no parking spaces inside just the Tarmac paths and they couldn't manage to carry everything even 30+ years ago when he first passed away.

limitedperiodonly · 25/12/2015 22:41

I might be wrong but you might be thinking of the City of London cemetery in Manor Park crazybaglady.

It's very big and has roads in it. It's possible to walk round if you're fit but driving slowly is expected. The church is a five minute walk from the entrance and has a small car park. Everyone behaves themselves.

It's very beautiful.

Topseyt · 25/12/2015 22:41

It is the norm and the done thing in the graveyard where my grandparents are buried too.

I haven't been there all that often, but whenever we have we have driven up to it, often carrying gardening tools etc. to tidy up the grave.

Fuckitfay · 25/12/2015 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mairzydoatsanddozeydoats · 25/12/2015 23:28

I went to they cemetafy this morning to visit my husbands plot- I parked in the car park as it was close. Our cemetafy/ crem is massive so lots of people parked on the roadway no one parked on graves. It would have been a hell of a walk for some.

limitedperiodonly · 26/12/2015 11:42

Fuckitfay and I'm sorry they never met her Smile.

Visiting a graveyard is obviously sad, but there's no reason why you shouldn't smile too as you remember the people there.

It's a cliche, but life does go on. And there's no nicer proof of that than seeing children play.

limitedperiodonly · 26/12/2015 11:43

Stray and crept in there Smile

hefzi · 26/12/2015 12:53

There is a road round the one by my house, and it also goes straight through; however, I've noticed people do pull off the tarmac and drive across the grass to get closer to the grave they are after, which does seem a bit unusual - especially as the cemetery is full in all but one bit which is right on the tarmac, so they are actually driving across other people's graves to get to the one they are visiting.

The large cemetery in the town where I went to school had roads, but also helpfully located paths and steps etc (it was on the side of the hill): I don't condone driving over graves, but in our local cemetery, if you had difficulties walking etc, you could have quite a distance to go over grass to get to the grave you were visiting if you parked on the tarmac. I guess that's why people do it - but it makes a horrendous mess of the whole area when it's wet.

NannyR · 26/12/2015 13:19

Completely normal at the cemetery where my grandparents are buried. The cemetery is huge, there is a one way system round it and people do park slightly to the side on the grass as parking on the road would block it for other people.