To think I just want a peaceful Christmas Eve

[doitanyways]

And instead have a relative who wants to kill themselves.

I know they can't help it but god it's exhausting.

Thank your lucky stars that you are not suffering in the same manner.

I doubt they have chosen to be unwell and feel like ending their life because of their inner turmoil and immeasurable suffering.

I hope they find some compassion in their very dark corner of the universe.

YANBU. I have a similar situation (I'm far away and can't help). It's shit. I hope they are getting help, I know how hard it is to access mental health services.

Xmas is a really difficult time for some folk

Is there anybody else who can look after them?

You poor thing. Maybe you should tell them how inconsiderate they are being? How dare they have mental health problems that are so overwhelming that they want to die? Especially at Christmas time. I'd leave them to it and go enjoy a mince pie.

Don't be a dick, WeirdCatLady. IT's hard on the people around them, and they deserve notice too.

It is exhausting, but you are coming across very cold here. Perhaps it is time to step back from this as you want your peace and leave it to someone who has more compassion.

Well you have my sympathy anyway duck, it must be very very hard

And I don't think you're coming across as 'cold'

Just knackered.

Viola, if the OP had said something along the lines of 'it's very hard to support them' etc they would have had my sympathy, but that's not at all what was said.

Jesus, people are such twats. It can be really hard supporting someone with a mental illness, particularly over the Christmas season where services are even more sparse than usual.

Been there, OP, and I get what you're saying these things are tough for everyone.

Wishing you and yours strength and peace for Christmas x

Nobody knows how long the OP has been supporting someone. She's probably bone tired and just wants some respite. Which is not unreasonable.

The attitude of some people (weird cat for example) is v unsavoury.

Merry Christmas OP X

Seriously folks, try to have a a bit of compassion for those who do the very hard work of caring.

I am not sure i would have chosen AIBU to post this.

YANBU. Christmas two years ago my younger sister tried to kill herself quite a few times. By mid-Jan she was in a psychiatric hospital. It is exhausting and heartbreaking and YANBU to wish it would just stop. Of course as WeirdCatLady has said (although I think not very nicely) no-one is in as much pain as the person suffering so much they want to die. But it can be unbelievably hard to remember that so please don't feel bad. You can show someone who is suffering mental health problems nothing but compassion and still need an outlet for your own frustration and misery.

My sister got help and two years later things are so much better. After everything that happened my mum and I were also strongly recommended to have counselling which we did. Your first concern may be your relative but if it's getting you down it may be worth speaking to your GP about any support/counselling you could get.

Not as hard as the poor suicidal person eh hmm

No I imagine not. Does that change anything?

No nor me

I hope you can muddle through as best you can OP.

And can I just add, OP hasn't said anything unkind about the relative with mental health problems - OP has just wished things could be more peaceful. Honestly, I swear on AIBU a poster wishing for world peace at Christmas would somehow be called selfish.

You've had some very harsh replies OP but please ignore them because the reality is that caring is exhausting and you're allowed to want it to be different for everyones sake.

doitanyways You have my full sympathies!

I have a mother with a mental illness (often suicidal) and quite frankly there have been moments when I want to kill her myself!!!

Please find moments to treat yourself and have fun!

The OP clearly just needs to vent a little frustration. Anyone who feels the need to make them feel bad about it is showing a much greater lack of compassion than they are accusing the OP of. If the OP was saying this to their relative you'd have a point, but they aren't, they are using a safe, anonymous space. Bet you wish you hadn't bothered OP. I wish you and your relative well and hope you both find the strength you need to get through this.

why are some people being such arseholes on this thread? I would imagine that it is bloody exhausting especially if you are powerless to influence the situation due to the mental state of the family member involved. It must be extremely draining OP, and you have my sympathy. It surely would be nicer to be having a peaceful Christmas Eve - OP didn't say anything negative about their family member. Hope they're getting the help they need.