Have I just been a massive wanker?

[trashcanjunkie]

I've got twin boys who are ten. One of them is at a party which was a cinema party. Instead of going for food after the film they've gone back to the home of the birthday boy.

I got a text from his mum (Who I have known through the dcs primary for years, and she is a social worker) saying my ds was panicking as they all are playing Call of Duty on the Xbox/PlayStation as he isn't allowed to.

Why the hell would anyone think it's appropriate to let ten year olds play that?

I text back saying absolutely not, and then got asked what games he can play. I've said 12 and under.

I feel really rubbish being put in that position, and even worse for poor ds. I hope he's not getting loads of grief.

I also think your Friend did a good thing getting in touch checking your opinion.

You are NOT the wanker here

San Diego, it is that bad. But your kids your rules, don't be forcing it on to other peoples children and you're fine.

Well done on standing your ground. YANBU, you are being a good Mum.

absolutely not a wanker! i have friends who let their children play this, after evangalising about how bad it all is. It really is bad and i wouldn't dream of letting my child play it.

What a responsible boy you have there, OP.

When he gets home I would make a big fuss of his honesty and maybe treat him to another day out or the like for standing up for his mum's rules. You should be proud of him. Ratings are for a reason.

it really winds me up when parents do this, i wouldn't dream of letting another child play an age inappropriate game at my house (even if they did say their mum allowed them too). I always err on the side of caution but generally im pretty strict about what DD can watch/do (althoguh she is very reserved about scary/inappropriate viewing and gaming) so im usually ok.

You have absolutely 100% not been a wanker. The only wankery here is on the part of the other Mum. If she wants to parent her own child irresponsibly by exposing him to that level of violence at such a young age, that's her lookout. She was very, very unreasonable to assume that her DS's friends would be allowed to play it too and should have stuck to something age appropriate. Good for your DS for speaking up!

I've said it before on this forum but I'm a children's mental health worker and I'm sick of parents allowing their young children to spend hours playing extremely violent, ultra-realistic video games that they are too young to really understand or put into context and then taking no responsibility whatsoever when their child develops a worrying and inappropriate obsession with violence, death and weaponry, lacks empathy and starts harming their pets or younger siblings and attacking other children at school etc. Normalising physical aggression, suffering and death by creating an association between violence and "fun" or "entertainment" at such a young age is very misguided. Some kids may not be adversely affected by exposure to that level of violence but some absolutely will and it's not possible to tell which category yours will fall into.

Don't feel bad for a second.

What a good lad you've brought up there. Well done you and we'll done him for sticking to the rules in the face of peer pressure!

You are not a wanker, my DSs went to party aged 9 and 11 , They watched Halloween! got a call from my oldest asking to be picked up, completely traumatised didn't sleep for a week. Younger DS saw the way it was going and absented himself from the room, wise boy. One of their friends had to see the GP and was still not sleeping after 3 months! some parents are shit.

Well done your Ds for speaking up!

Not a wanker. Horrid game! Well done for sticking to your guns under pressure. You'd think a social worker had more sense. 10 is far too young for these games

YANBU!

One of my friends (known her for years, our DH's work in the RAF together), had the same issue with her son.
His dad unfortunately was injured in Afghanistan. He lost a leg and had some pretty severe head injuries. Her 13 yo son was at a friends house, and his mate was playing COD. He said he didn't want to play and then got loads of grief at school for being a "fanny". He ended up blurting out in a fit of anger "I don't want to play that crap because in real life, that's what nearly killed my dad!"
There's a very good reason why those games have 18 certificates. No ten yo should be playing them.

Just to add to all the others - you should be so proud of your son for being honest.

I am stunned that a social worker would allow their child to play such games and I would actually argue that in doing so, she is failing in the standards required for the job. I've only ever seen clips of COD and I think it's an utterly vile game.

^^YANAW

Well done for your son, I bet you're really proud of him, it's not easy to speak out in that situation.

I cannot understand why parents let children play adult games - FFS there's plenty of other age appropriate games. I simply cannot fathom it.

Eh, that's a relief. I love that I can get a general consensus - and that it's not off the mark.

Just collected ds. The bloody mother came outside to say my ds must be terrified of me. Apparently due to his rigid insistence that he couldn't play it! He has just laughed that off and informed me that 'he could take me anytime, and my telling's off aren't even that bad'

I have promised him a treat, and I am really proud of him. He has however, just told me that he has a copy of COD at his fucking idiotic twat fathers house! They don't play on campaign mode, so that's ok why do I bother?

Wow! You have really raised a good kid there: not just peer pressure but from another parent too! Massive positive reinforcement treat in order I think.
And no, you aren't being a wanker: other Mum was bang out of order allowing other people's 10 YO play an 18 cert game.

OK, she really is a wanker. Your DS "must be terrified of you"
No, he's just been raised by a fucking good parent who has given him clear boundaries and the confidence not to be swayed by peer pressure. And it doesn't sound like you've had much help in that department from his Dad so all credit to you !

So if he plays it at his Dad's anyway, it sounds like he may have played his friend's Mum like a fiddle

He probably wanted to play a different game and lost out in the vote...so plan B was to tell his friend's Mum he's not allowed