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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you have punishment for swearing?

65 replies

usernamesandgingerbreads · 23/12/2015 13:14

DD (13) has just screamed that someone on tv stealing a goose on a Christmas film is a massive cunt Blush
My Dad will go beserk if he hears her swear.

OP posts:
schokolade · 23/12/2015 13:42

I'd tell her I didn't want to hear it thanks. And get stronger if it kept happening.

schokolade · 23/12/2015 13:44

And maybe it wouldn't be so bad if your dad did go beserk? I guess she'd learn there's a time and a place. Smile

CreepingDogFart · 23/12/2015 13:44

How did you react ?

GnomeDePlume · 23/12/2015 13:45

No but I dont have an issue with swearing per se.

I would however have a discussion with her about the appropriateness of swearing in different settings. I love a good swear but would not swear, say, in front of small children (or here on MN funnily enough).

Talk with her about when and where swearing is good/okay/iffy/wrong. It is a useful life skill.

catfordbetty · 23/12/2015 13:45

Spare the rod ...

B33rTricksPott3r · 23/12/2015 13:46

Swearing at me or anyone else is a sanction (loss of screen time etc).
Swearing in general is a reminder how it can make you look to other people, time and a place etc, particularly the word cunt.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/12/2015 13:49

I'd be really cross , we didn't swear [or tried very hard not to] in front of the ds's when they were younger and if one of mine said cunt at 13 I'd have been Shock.

I'd not punish as such unless it was aimed at me, family etc but there'd be a
chat about swearing and where ,when etc.

GnomeDePlume · 23/12/2015 13:57

StillStayingClassySanDiego so that particular swear word offends but you would be okay(ish) with slang for male genitalia?

Actually, I would be tempted to go through (and make her write down) every single swear word she knows (then add all the ones you know Wink) and make a set of columns next to these

Parents
Friends
Strangers
Grandparents etc

Then go through with her which would be good/okay/iffy/wrong to be used in each column.

Apart from taking the forbidden/shock value out of the swearing it would also be an opportunity to guide.

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 23/12/2015 13:59

Yes, there would be sanctions and harsh ones. I won't have swearing in the house, there are millions of words that can be used so no reason to resort to vulgar ones.

DropYourSword · 23/12/2015 14:07

OP, what the relevance of your Dad going berserk? It's fine for you and your DDs Dad to decide what's appropriate or not, and the consequences for breaking rules. But you choose how you raise your child, right?

and I think the goose thief does sound like a massive cunt

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/12/2015 14:13

Gmome can't say I'd be happy at any swearing from my then 13 year old ds's, not just cunt; twat, fuck , etc would make me have words with them.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 23/12/2015 14:14

Swearing at me or anyone else is a sanction (loss of screen time etc).
Swearing in general is a reminder how it can make you look to other people, time and a place etc, particularly the word cunt.

Agreed.

Branleuse · 23/12/2015 14:15

i would tell her that if she swears like that in front of your parents or adults there will be hell to pay.

I tell mine off for swearing but i dont actually punish it

Branleuse · 23/12/2015 14:16

i mean I dont actually think its a massive deal, but I do want them to know that its not always appropriate

usernamesandgingerbreads · 23/12/2015 14:16

She's never sworn at home before so I was a bit taken back. I'm under no illusion that she swears at school.
Cunt is an awful word though.

My Dad is very very old fashioned in a lot of ways. Anything more than bloody and you are in trouble and he doesn't even like bloody tbh.

OP posts:
Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 23/12/2015 14:20

They get a Not in this house warning. Swearing at me/others is definately not on, swearing when hurt, I let go.

DS y5 teacher made them all write swear words dowm on a piece of paper - and screwed it up ... Lovely!!
DS learnt something new that day!!!

FlatOnTheHill · 23/12/2015 14:25

Oh gawd. Did you secretly laugh?

TheSecondOfHerName · 23/12/2015 14:29

I make them explain to me what the word means. Slightly embarrassing for me, excruciating for them. This mostly worked in that it did curtail the swearing.

TheSecondOfHerName · 23/12/2015 14:30

Does anyone remember that episode of Malcolm in the Middle, where his dad makes him read out an extensive list of swearwords while looking him in the eye?

PolterGoose · 23/12/2015 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knobblyknee · 23/12/2015 14:38

Doesnt bother me, son had autistic friends at school. We talked about how Gran feels differently and he chose to change his language in front of her.

nokidshere · 23/12/2015 14:39

No punishment here but no swearing in the house or in front of adults. I would definitely go with the suggestion of talking about when it's not appropriate.

UninventiveUsername · 23/12/2015 14:45

My mum would have gone nuts if she heard me say cunt! I've sworn in front of her once in many life and that was at her because she'd really upset me. I don't see swearing as that big a deal myself but it isn't something I'd encourage in my dd and I would punish her I think depending on the circumstances. I think it is important for children to learn that swearing is not always appropriate and that not everyone likes to hear it. My dd is not yet two so I may change my views as she gets older. I like the idea of making her explain what the words mean though.

UninventiveUsername · 23/12/2015 14:46

Once in many life? "Once in my life", that should say!

usual · 23/12/2015 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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